Monday, September 22, 2008

Well my past couple of posts have been a bit on the negative side, so to switch it up a bit, I'll write about what a cool time I had yesterday:

There's a reason why women (and men) who get into porn wind up staying a spell...it's because when you actually have bookings (unfortunately mine have been few and far between, but I plan on resolving a root issue as to why this week) you have a BLAST!

Yesterday I got to play a bit of a domme for a scene which was shot for porn.com - from the moment I arrived on set it was nothing but a positive vibe. The makeup artist was fantastic (and an cool conversationalist). I am VERY picky when it comes to my makeup being done because I know exactly what it takes for me to look not just "good" but "balanced". This makeup artist and I were totally on the same wavelength - I can't wait to find some stills of the shoot - below is a webcam photo I snapped real quick in the mirror of this fantastic artist's work.




I and my scene "co-star" were instructed to bring "exotic dancer type attire" for wardrobe and amazingly for once I was asked to select an outfit of MY CHOICE! See, I told you that this was a great day!

To top it all off, the director was pretty awesome as well. I like directors and production crew who actually DIRECT and who don't expect you to be psychic and know what they are expecting just from a vague premise or who want you to totally wing it. I can be creative when necessary, but having some solid ideas to work with is a bit better for me at this phase in my life.

This particular director knew EXACTLY what he wanted out of the scene and how to instruct his actresses to make it happen. I really admire people who have a vision and know how to execute it - that's not just a skill, it's a talent.

This was my first 1 on 1, Girl on Girl shoot - initially I thought I might feel apprehensive about the gig, but I'll tell u - being a dancer is the best training ground to prepare you for the "porn world", because when I think back to my stripper days, I've already got a pretty good amount of girl on girl experience :) [yes, I did many 2 girl VIP room shows with my stripper buddies back in the day].

This week will be fairly busy - as I stated earlier in this post I need to fix some areas in my life which may be preventing me from achieving certain goals I have (career wise) at the speed/pace of which I know I'm capable of. I also have more work to do on monicaf.com, redtback.com, gettingintoporn.com and a new site I'm putting together for a friend/client who's a musical artist. Along with doing my regular cam shows I also need to figure out how to focus more on rebuilding my photography portfolio for 2009.

Ugh, when I think about all the $hit I put up with and all the pressure and high expectations I put on myself it's amazing that I still don't have my dream car or house - it's also amazing that I haven't had a heart attack yet. I think I'm getting close to the car at least:)

Though I get down at times, I don't allow myself extended pity parties - I just continue pushing forward. I feel like anything in life that you hate, don't like or are uncomfortable with you can at least try to fix. I guess that's why my life is in a constant state of repair and renovation.

As many of my friends and family have heard me say, you either get on the train with me, or leave your ass at the station (getting on the train is the better choice - trust me).