Thursday, January 31, 2008

Finally getting back on track/schedule in relation to my personal and business projects - I really wish there were 3 of me rather than just 1 - I'd get so much more done.
Last night was another broadcast of my show RED T-Back (real exotic dancers talk back) - check out the video - next week hopefully I'll have a guest :)








Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Today was one of my most productive days ever. I recently connected via Myspace with a really intelligent and artistic guy by the name of Kamary who's developed a great concept for an online (and potential foreign market show) calld "The X-Profiles" - I get to contribute as a co-host and I'm very excited. Today we ran through all the technnical aspects of the show to get ready for the final result/recordings - hard work but worth it!



One of the current sponsors for the show is an energy drink company - You gotta check out their commercial and buy it when it's on the shelves peeps.



Monday, January 28, 2008

The cool thing about being me is that I never know WHAT will happen day to day - I love that. In a sense I know losely what I need to acomplish each day but the universe seems to like to throw all kinds of odds and ends at me - I guess mostly because I can take it.
This week should be INCREDIBLY productive and fun - tomorrow I have a date with a really interesting person. Wednesday I'll be brainstorming and rehersing for the first installment of an online series I'll be co-hosting, and then I should be working solidly through to the weekend on both my website and material for another site.
Busy busy busy bee = me
I'm 29 but I love that new teen pop artist Miley Cyrus - mainly because she has the dual identity thing like I do - and her music is pretty cool. I'd love to get into the music world a bit before I'm done being in front of the camera.
Tonight I did my "anti-camgirl" show on the camz network - I love those session - the "Anti-Camgirl" show along with "Red T-back" really are my media "babies" . The best part about doing the shows...the fan mail - I get some really great feedback from the viewers and listeners - and that's what makes it all worth while.
Below is my theme song for the evening:



I'm over the guy who I wrote about in my most recent posts - but I do miss talking to him. My ever present life lesson is that you can't change people or situations - you either are compatable in all areas, or you accept and adapt or you accept and move forward or you don't accept and just walk away.
I'm in love with being in love, and I live to find the love so I need to find someone who thinks along the same lines I do - I really believe that the meaning of life is finding and maintaining love in your romantic world, family world and inner personal world.

Saturday, January 26, 2008

It's the weekend, which is a relaxing time for most, but for me it's a busy busy time. For those of you who've missed seeing me on cam, nows the time to catch me.
Today I spent some time with my mom - there's nothing like going home, even if you don't live there anymore. Somehow no sofa in the world is as soft as your mom's, and no place in the world smells as good as your mom's kitchen, even if nothing's simmering on the stove.
Later tonight I think I'll shoot another pictorial for my monicaf.com website.
This Wednesday will be exciting - I'll be shooting a test run of an online talkshow I was asked to co-host which has the potential of being picked up to tv via foreign markets - I love cutting edge media projects.
Music really does help to heal the soul - especially when it comes to getting over romantic intrests...the song below helped me start the "bounce-back process" - it's one of my favorite songs in general and the lyrics have helped me time and time again - I already feel better :)

Friday, January 25, 2008




Ok, I'm officially a "hot and on the go fetish photographer & videographer" :) - hehe. The past few days I worked with model, personality and awsome friend Amazon Amanda to develop content for her upcoming website. I think I did more in 2 days than an entire production team typically does in a week. I'm tired but feel incredibly energized because I love being productive. Check out some of these results from the shoot later on (a group cast/crew photo is currently postedof course).

Aside from just shooting content, while out of town on this assignment, I also had the chance to meet some really cool people and bond a bit more with some current aquaintances. Some of the people I met really let me vent on some current issues in my life and it was much appreciated. I really had a chance to clear my head. It's always good to hear a fresh perspective from someone that doesn't know you.

Oh last but not least I realized that I forgot that I really have a thing for country music. I'll be listening to some while doing cam shows 2nite.




Recently I let someone who had the potential of being really special to me into my life - but once again it didn't work out due to my hypersensitivity and need for validation - and I wound up a bit hurt. Maybe I'll go a bit more in depth about this but not too deep.....though this dude basicly has his phone tethered to the palm of his hand at all times, he couldn't "find the time" to call when he said he would. Typical "girl gripe" sure, but I'm past the games at this point in my life. If I give in one area, I expect to get in another area. Maybe I should just be a gold digger and forget about receiving from a man what's the most valuable thing of all - his time.

I'm not going to kick myself over this dude though...Why? Well, because my quirks and "off" tendancies are what make me the cool, psychotic and ecentric chick that I am. Also I know that sometime and someplace I'll come across someone who's the perfect compliment to my oddities and requirements - someone who'll maintain the level of communication and consideration that I require

Later on I'll post a little video montage of my roadtrip up to Orlando (the location of the shoot) - it'll give u a real laugh if you're a frequent reader of this blog.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

The next couple days I'll be out of town on a "fetish photography assignment". Yeah :) I'm pretty excited about it, but I know it will be a TON of work - I'm ready though.

In my last posting I mentioned maybe going to church again to try to meet someone - well I still might start attending church again, just because it's something I'd like to do, but not to meet anyone...Why? Well recently someone pretty special entered my life, and though initially I made the assumption that this person didn't want a "relationship", it looks as though I might have been wrong. It's really good to be wrong sometimes :)

Only about 4 months untill my lease is up. I am SOOOOOOOOO happy - I will be moving to the beach this time around.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

So far this year has been pretty great - lots of twists and turns and surprises and hell, it's still just January.

I'm going to take my photography company completely into the "Fetish" niche` - I feel like I might as well at this point, being that that I'm becoming increasingly familiar with the festish world due to MonicaF.com and MiztressMonica.com and my ever changing social circle.

This Wednesday through through Thursday I'm going out of town for my first "out of city on location" fetish shoot for Amazon Amanda (as a photographer) - should be interesting.

Romance, relationships and sex continue to completely confuse me, but it's ok as I feel clarity will come with time. I continue to wish that people would lay their cards out on the table from the beginning, but I suppose if most guys did, unless the girl was completely bored they'd never "get laid".

As I keep dating and "getting out there", my tolerance level is getting lower and lower for selfish and senseless insensitivity. Rather than just letting things go with people and adapting, I'm going with a strong 1, 2, 3 strikes and your out policy.

Children...Babies...though I hate to admit it, the idea of becoming a mom is more important and appealing to me day by day - so I've decided (at least as of current) that anyone I date, needs to be open to that idea.

Someone gave me a really good piece of advice in regards to trying to meet good quality people who are in my age range and who have similiar family-starting goals - the advice was "go to church" - and maybe I just will.

Friday, January 11, 2008

Well today I felt a little down, but whenever I feel sad, there's one place I know to go that could make even the most depressed person in the world feel happy and hopefull - IKEA.
Today I decided to make an IKEA day - I ran my morning errands and then headed out to the store at around 12pm. I've needed a dining table for a pretty long time, so I decided to go ahead and pick one up - IKEA has mix and match table tops and legs which I think is pretty cool so I went with a dark brown top and silver kind of "eclectic" looking legs.
I also picked up a LACK coffee table which I'm using as my TV stand. I wanted to get chairs for the dining table too but they didn't have the ones I thought I wanted in stock. I'm glad though because upon getting home I realized the ones I was thinking of getting wouldn't have looked right anyways.
I want to implement more green into my decor so I also picked up a green area rug. Along with a few other various things like dishes, a chair for my computer desk and some other knick knacks I only wound up spending a little over $200! You can only do that at IKEA.
Normally if I'm shopping alone I don't stop to eat, because I hate eating alone, but today I did, mostly cause it's hard to pass up the IKEA restaurant, but I actually felt ok about it.
Sometime being single I feel really lonely. Quick fixes like booty calls are ok to ease that loneliness at times, but usually that isn't the best thing since most booty call type men are asses.
After I'm done re-arranging my apartment tonight I'll take a few pics and post them.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Well I had a GREAT birthday. This new year and age (29) will ROCK!

Well now that the holidays and birthday are out of the way, it's time to get back to serious work. There are a few technical things I need to do with my business and my websites need major updating (as usual).

I'm also in the process of giving my apartment a bit of an over-haul - I'm allowing myself not to feel guilty about a few little "splurges" :)

Today I put together a "behind the scenes" video of my most recent photo pictorial "Plastic" - to those of u who don't think I do all my own shit - check this out chumps...


Sunday, January 06, 2008

Well, tomorrow I am 29. I guess that's kind of cool. Yesterday I got to play "babysitter" for my nephew, that was SOOOOO much fun, but a lot of work too. In a way I suppose it was a part of my b-day present this year.
After going out last night, my right rear tire exploded on the road. ARG! Yet another damn expense. At least I was close to home when it happened - would have been worse if it had happened on an interstate or something.
Another goal I'm going to have for the year is going to be to learn how to change a tire. That's something I really need to learn how to do because guy friends who "claim" to be depenedable, usually are not.

Saturday, January 05, 2008

Well it's a new year (FINALLY) and I'm feeling SOOOOO psyched, energetic and purpose driven. I have a very optimistic & positive outlook for the year and I'm going to try my best to achieve many of my personal and professional goals.
One of my main goals this year is to re-open my photography studio. However after speaking with a good friend about that posibility, I've realized that opening more of a "media" studio is a better bet - a studio where I can create and produce not just still photography but video and graphics and multimedia content.
Another one of my goals is to get completely out of debt and I'm on my way to completing that goal very soon.
I also want to re-enroll in school - I think online classes to start will be my best bet.
Another one of my goals is to further my RED T-Back project ( www.RedTback.com ) - I will be taking the show from audio only to video this month - that should be exciting. I video taped the last broadcast.




ONe of my personal development goals this year (and the last goal I'll write about tonight) is to make an active effort to help people I'm close to when I know they're in trouble. I know that I can't control anyone and believe me, I don't want to, but I do think that God put me on earth to do a bit more than just help myself.