Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Thanks to my blog readers for your positivity and words of encouragement considering my blog yesterday. I think many of you think my dubbing myself a "failure" is negative - I personally don't - it's just a fact and I no longer am willing to work at situations that are out of my control. I failed in porn world because:

1) I'm too old (yep, only 30 but still in porn world anything above 24 is a MILF nowadays).
2) I'm a dark African-American chick without a particularly fat ass (I've come to find that my look doesn't fit in popular any porn niche as of current aside from what I've created for myself via my website)
3) I don't "play the game", pander to people I can't stand or kiss ass.

I don't feel badly about myself for any of the above "reasons", it's just how it is and how I am.

If things had worked out with my ex, I'd have wanted to stay in LA - I loved the guy, but I wasn't worth his time nor am I what he wanted to be with so I'm abandoning that failed situation.

I'm definitely moving ASAP, but as for where to? I'll tell you when I get there. Will I be going back to South FL? Nope - I'm not someone who backtracks.

The main reason I'm moving is because I can't afford to live in LA. I don't know HOW young women out here do it. Well, actually I do. They do lots of "private shoots" (and I don't have to explain what that translates to mean) and/or they get sugar daddies. I'm not against anyone doing either - it's their own personal choice. I never rule out anything for myself, but here's a question: How one goes about meeting a sugar daddy in LA? I have no clue.

I haven't met any really rich men since living here at all. I've met guys who have pretended to have money yes, but not any legitimately rich guys who are generous.

When I think about it, I probably haven't because I don't go out, but even if I DID go out I don't have the type of clothing to hang at "rich people spots" and I'm not about to roll up somewhere in my broke down SUV. I guess I'm condemned to the world of the broke masses :)

So this is my blog for today - just a follow up on yesterdays. Doing webcam shows all night so see you online.