I haven't written a blog in quite some time, mainly due to my other projects being as time consuming as they are - so here's an update.
*My first book Getting Into Porn - The Handbook (which is available on Amazon.com) is doing very well. Simply completing it and managing to put it out there for sale was an accomplishment in itself and a fantastic way to conclude 2010. My next book Getting Into Porn - The Journeys (well, more like the first installment in the series) is nearing completion and I will most likely look into turning it into a screenplay mid 2011.
*My little broadcast www.MonicaAtHome.com is doing well too! I have a few surprises of which I'll be implementing into the show in 2011 so keep watching.
*I'm working on a joint venture with comedians Thomas Ward and Brittany Blaze. I rarely am willing to work with others on much of anything, but these to individuals are so talented, that I feel it would be a huge mistake not to create something wonderful with them.
*This is an odd point to make, but I recently bought some bindis, and will be sporting them this year :)
*I'm in the process of revising my script for the first adult feature/parody I hope to be able to release 7/7/2011. All I need now is the capital to get production rolling.
*On a negative note, someone who I thought initially was trustworthy has attempted to rip me off. I'm pretty upset about this being that it's heavily effected my holiday plans, but I have a feeling that the power of the internet will assist me in getting back what I'm owed. The person only has 24 hours before I name them and they have much more to lose than I.
So that's about it. I feel great and if you check my last www.MonicaAtHome.com broadcast I look great as well :) I'm heading back to Florida for Christmas in a couple of days. It will be nice to see my family, however I will be very glad to get back to California to continue my work, and life.
I've learned quite a bit this year - about myself, about others and about how the world really works. Since learning certain key life elements, I find myself waking up in the morning (or evening - depending upon what sleep schedule I'm on at the time) with a zest for life like I've never had in the past. I actually wish I never had to sleep at times (unless it's with a sexy 21 year old who looks like Justin Timberlake of course) and I'm much more accepting of myself and others who I feel are worth it.
I no longer feel guilt when it comes to telling people who are not worth it to get the fuck out of my life and not to bother me anymore. I had to do yet another "cleaning house" of my social circle recently. I do give people chances, but if they can't (or won't) get it together I will not expend my energy on them any more.
I've come to realize that I'm a "certain type" of woman. As of current I have to define myself as a "Single Swinger" - yea yea, I know that sounds weird, but it's who I am. I wish I'd realized that about myself actually prior to entering the adult entertainment world - but actually when I think about it, maybe the adult entertainment world is what helped me in discovering certain qualities within myself of which I was initially afraid of embracing.
A good friend of mine, Julie Meadows, touches on certain annoying things that anti-porn activist Shelley Lubben preaches - one of those phrases being "You were meant for more than porn". I think that's an interesting statement, because it's all about perspective.
What is "more" than porn? What is "less" than porn?
Another good friend of mine Brittany Blaze brought up an interesting point to me when we were discussing my book on video for her youtube channel. I brought up my thoughts about how I feel you need to enter the porn industry with a financial "cushion" or a bit of money saved in case things don't work out - and she countered with that for many women - entering the porn industry is one of their ONLY options for survival and that is a girl is coming from "the boonies with brown teeth getting fucked in her ass everyday by her dad", that a decent looking guy offering her $1000 to do the same thing is like hitting the lottery for the girl.
I hate to say it, but I agree with Brittany, and if you look closely at a few of the "top" performers in the porn industry - they truly were once the girl the Brittany described (whether they want to admit it or not).
I've come to realize that in life I've been a bit "spoiled". Not in every regard - but due to my background, personal taste, and methodical way of thinking, I've tended to be able to always put myself into situations of which I can walk on the wild side, but have the luxury of experiencing only the mildest aspects of the wild arenas. My life has been difficult in some ways, but really never that bad - I'm quite fortunate.
If I'd known more about acceptably open relationships and lifestyles (but how could I have being that it's more of a west coast thing from what I can observe), I probably never would have done porn. Porn really was just a venue for me to be more of an exibitionist than I already was, fuck a lot (I hadn't fucked much prior to doing porn in all honesty) & lay some ground work to make some money.
I admitted to my Dad in an email recently that I think I require 100 times more attention than most people. I personally don't think anything's wrong with embodying that quality, because we're all different...but one thing I do know now is that due to me needing so much consistent interaction with the opposite sex, at this stage of my life I most likely can't be in a single monogamous relationship (and frankly I DON'T WANT TO BE). I'm reaching my peak psychologically, mentally and sexually as a woman and I feel that I need about 12 boyfriends in order satisfy my needs - in other words a "reverse harem".
12 would be a perfect number of men for me because I could see each 2 to 3 times a month without the relationship with any of them ever growing stale (at least not for about 7 to 8 months). Ideally I'd like to find a group of men of varying ages and ethnicities - however I'd prefer for at least 6 of the men to be around 21 years old and REALLY cute (as I'm approaching 32 years old, I'm starting to understand VERY well why older men date women as young as they can get away with dating - Just call me black Demi Moore).
Yea, it's POSSIBLE there is ONE man out there who has the strength of 12 men (I personally believe it's Theo Theodoridis), but I haven't met him yet.
Well that's about it, I need to get back to work now recruiting for my reverse harem and continuing to progress my other projects. See you on December 27th on www.BlogTV.com/People/MonicaFoster for the next live broadcast of www.MonicaAtHome.com
