I figured out what prevents women from ruling the world - menstruation. I hate when it's my time of the month. It throws everything out of wack - from my emotions, to my energy level to my motivation. My entire life my time of the month has been my downfall - oh well - I guess that's what being a woman is all about.
Since returning to Florida, though I've gotten a lot of rest, I'm been pretty busy. From editing video and photos on my website, to working on the launch of a couple of new websites, I'm proud to say that I've been very productive.
It hasn't been all work though, I always put aside som time to play - I and my friend Amazon Amanda (www.amazonamanda.com) managed to get out for a couple of margaritas the other night and I and another incredible guitarist friend of mine, who likes to remain anonymous, had some fun and musical chill time together (though I almost passed out - yep just found out I'm hypoglycimic - it's always something).
Last night I put out another broadcast of RedTback (Real Exotic Dancers Talk Back) with my good friend and co-host Harmony - I'll post the video reply later - for now you can enjoy the audio replay below:

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Well yesterday/tonight was very productive. I did my weekly live cam show for the members of www.MonicaF.com's Club Monica on the camz network, I did quite a few private camshows for my fans, I shot a new photo pictorial of myself (below is a shot from it) for my website called "Futuristic Funk", and I made another "behind the scenes" video of this shoot to post on YouTube. A busy bee - yes I am...
I already miss Los Angeles a little bit, but I sure don't miss the lack of humidity - dry climates are great for breathing but are really bad for my skin. Out there I go through a bottle of lotion a week.
I have a ton of video I've got to get around to editing this weekend. Hopefully I'll find the time to develop the splash pages for a couple of my new sites that I'm planning on developing over the next few months.

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

I decided to rewrite this blog entry being that the last entry I wrote was a bit emotional, irrational, trivial and judgemental.
This 2nd trip out to LA for my "adult video" ventures was totally different from the last. The last trip was all "shiney and sparkly and new" - this trip was full of transitions (which are always difficult). Many doors were opened, some were closed - but overall the trip has been very educational. I've learned even more about the "porn world" than I'd initially cared to know - but I'm glad that I now know. I also learned that I'm not invincible and I'm definitely not always right.
I had some cool opportunities while I was out here this time around. I was forunate enough to be called in to a meeting with Wicked Pictures (thanks Jim!), I also found some work independently through One Model Place - one of my favorite, oldest and best online modeling networks (yep, I'm vintage - #125). I worked with some really creative directors/talent this time in L.A. and hopefully made some more new friends.
I'm up to about scene 12 now.
I'm leaving a few days earlier than I'd anticipated and I really can't wait to get home, however I am looking forward to planning my 3rd trip out here.
I've changed agencies, hopefully the new one I've signed with will be good for me. I've also found that taking care of my own transportation and accomodations is definitely the way to go.
When I get back to Florida, I will be researching everything that I need to, in order to create my own video production/distribution label. I think I'm about 50% of the way there, I just need to get all my business/legal ducks in a row to make it happen.

Money over Principal - Business logic over rational thought ..... I don't think you can really pit any of those concepts against each other in "real life" - then again is working in adult video really "real life"? Maybe, maybe not.
Yesterday I had a gig which took the turn for the worse - if the reason that it did was justifiable (which I'll find out around 2pm today) then that's one thing, but most likely it wasn't justifiable - however everything does happen for a reason and I have to hold onto that belief to be able to continue going forward.
I think in life there really are just a set number (be it a very large number) of certain types of people, and sometimes of those types - regardless of the situation you simply WILL NOT get along with them. That's ok though, but when it effects the "business" side of my life, that's a definite problem.
Other than yesterday since I've returned to LA, it's been good. I've had the opportunity to work on some really cool projects, and I anticipate more work coming from the results of my performance in those projects.
When I get home I can't wait to get back into my photography again. Another photographer I met out here who I let see my work, felt it was good, so that gives me additional confidence to persue the goal of reopening my photography studio.

The tone of this trip to LA is completely different from my first, not necessarily in a negative way or positive way - just a completely different way.
The adult video work itself is something that I really can get into on all levels, however the external influences that the industry tends to attract are psychologically draining. I'm doing my best to not let any of the "drama" effect me or the choices I make.
A huge part of me can't wait to get back to FL, however another part of me is excited to see what I can make happen out here in LA. Regardless, I'm having a really good time out here.

I love L.A. - It's my second night back and all's going well, and I'm looking forward to my trip continuing to go well. I want this journey to be as productive and lucrative as possible.
Today as a cool day, I was cast by Adam and Eve video in their new "porn spinoff" of Flavor of Love - their version will be called Flavor of Lust. It was shot totally in your typical "reality show" format. The set was beautiful, the crew on set was fun and very hospitable, and the girls and guys I worked with were GREAT. The guy who played the "Flavor Flave" type character is a rapper/musician who goes by the name "Cave" - really nice guy and very talented.
The group of girls from my agency that I'm staying with on this trip are much more my speed than last time, though the girls from my trip last time were nice too.
Tomorrow I have 2 scenes to shoot, so it'll be a busy day. This weekend I think I will rent a car and get to know LA a bit more on my own.

In a few days I'll be back in Los Angeles, I'm excited - but even between now and then I have a TON of things that I need to get done.

First though, I promised that I'd give a bit of an "in depth" review of what my trip was like, so here we go:

Day 1 - Jam packed with "go sees" to various studios in the area. For those of you who aren't familiar with the term, a "go see" is when your manager/agent introduces you to the heads of various studios who may want to hire you.

Day 2 - my first adult video shoot in Los Angeles - my director was a guy named Marco Pallotti - really high energy guy from England who has a company called Eleven Entertainment - I really enjoyed working with him - his assistant was cool too.

Day 3 - my second adult video shoot in L.A. - and lucky me got to work with adult video superstar Erik Everhard! Yum, this guy is a TOTAL fantasy come true! What's great about this guy is not only is he hot, he's a FANTASTIC male talent in the performance dept. AND he is also a photographer like me. To top it all off, he had a great personality as well. I REALLY want to work with Erik again.

Day 4 - my 3rd video shoot almost didn't happen - it was for Vouyer Productions - fortunately the owner of the company Vince saved the day and through a video piece together for me to perform in spur of the moment. My male talent was a guy named Sasha Byazarov - he was hot - had lots of tattoos and reminded me of the characters from the movie Blade.

Day 5 - a friend of mine gave me a ride to meet an awsome photographer named Holly Randall - she shoots for Hustler so that was definitely someone worth meeting. She has a great personality as well.

Day 6 - Another video shoot with Vouyer productions. However this one didn't go as smoothly as my other shoots during the week. My first male talent that I worked with - initials M.A. - on this day was just a complete ASS and walked off the set because he felt I wasn't "into him" - well excuse me for not being into someone who gets to a shoot high and who is cock-eyed. I was professional and tried my best to deal with this fool but he went off into a rant about how he's been "a professional" in the biz for 6 or 7 years and doesn't "need this shit". Yea, real professional to act like a 2 year old and storm off. I'm glad that it happened though because my replacement male talent was a sexy latin lover guy named Marco - yummmmmm. Too sexy - I felt like I was getting it on with Enrique Iglesias.

Day 7 - This was a fun "skit" type shoot that I got to perform with another adult video superstar who uses the name ChristianXXX - at first I felt he was a little combative upon first getting to know him, but then after a while I really started to dig him. Sometimes a little verbal agression can be good when meeting a guy - ads to the sexual chemistry :) He reminded me of a younger and sexier Mr. Clean. This guy is GREAT on camera and fantastic to work with. I can't wait to work with him again.

Day 8 - This was my last shoot of my trip - it was for a company called Silver Cash - my director was a guy named Rick Davis - he was really cool and awsome to work with. My male talent was a guy named John John - pretty hot and a good personality - he was interesting because he was also a dancer. This shoot was cool because I got to watch a 3 girl scene right before I did my boy/girl scene - that was interesting.

While I was in Los Angeles I really got to know some really cool people. One of the girls I was staying with Sophie Perez and I got to be pretty good friends. A couple other girls, Vanessa Lee and Mia were great to hang with as well.

I don't think when I visit L.A. that I will be dating any men - from what I've seen and experienced so far they're even flakier out there than here in FL.

What sucks is that about half of my shoots were "pay roll" which means I have to wait for my checks to arrive. I was counting on some of that money to book my hotel for my next trip out, so this next trip will be a TIGHT squeeze. I swear, I always feel broke but I don't even have any major expenses right now - just always waiting to get paid.

The earnings I hope to make in the next few months are going to go toward my education. I've made the decision to go back to school for marketing. I like my life now, but I want a better one.

Well, I'm back from Los Angeles and my trip out was great. As of current, I feel that getting into the adult video world was a great move on my part - yes it was a big step, but it takes big steps in life to create a substantial change.
I had the opportunity to work with some amazing people both from a talent and behind the scenes perspective. I also met a few really cool individuals who I hope will become life long friends.
I'll write a more extensive blog on my trip over the next few days as I'm tired as hell - however I can't wait for my next trip out to the city of dreams :)

Well, still in Los Angeles and still surviving. After today, I'll have a total of 6 video shoots under my belt, but I hope to have many many more in the future - so far this is definitely this industry for me.
It's funny, from the beginning a lot of people tried to talk me out of it - I suppose because they didn't think I could handle it. This trip hasn't been 100% smooth by far, BUT thanks to my past occupations and life experiences, I have the skill set to deal with the adult video/porn world.
Yesterday a really good friend that I initially met in Fort Lauderdale years ago, helped me out a lot in regards to getting me to a "go-see" that I really needed to attend - goes to show that TRUE friends will always be there for you when you need them.
I'm excited to see what else happens on this trip, but at the same time I can't wait to get back home and see my dog and just hang out solo in my apt.

Ok, it's technically Day 5 in LA - so far my trip has been about 90% fantastic! The 10% that wasn't so fantastic I'll touch on when I get home. However thank god for one of my roommates Sophie Perez - she's a new up and comer in the industry too - she's awsome.
Over the past few days I've worked with some fairly well known people in the industry. Marco Pilate, Eric Everhard and today Vince Voyuer. Overall the trip has been a success - still have a few more go - see's to attend but am booked solid the remainder of the week - I'm a lucky girl.

Day 2 in Los Angeles - today my agent took myself and some other girls who are managed by his agency on "go see's" . In my opinion they went well on my part and I expect quite a few video shoots as a result - however I got wind today of the "contract girl" option and I think that is a route I may want to explore. Probably not on this trip but the following trip to L.A.
Tomorrow in the morning I meet the peeps from Hustler magazine and in the afternoon I will be doing my first L.A. adult video shoot. I'm not really nervous but at the same time don't know what to expect. We'll see what happens, regardless I'll just try to have fun.

Day 1 in LA (technically night 1).

My flight was LONG - fortunately I was tired as hell and slept almost the entire time in the air due to my staying up practically the entire night prior packing.

Felt good to land in LA, my agent out here seems very on point and tomorrow will be filled with "go sees" at various studios. We'll see how that goes - should be interesting, funny and nerve racking all rolled into one.

My "roommies" fortunately are all pretty nice girls. Later I'll take a group photo and post it. Going to bed now - am exhausted - stay tuned :)

The past few weeks have been hard, fast and incredibly productive. I shot my second adult video scene - and it went really well. 2 under my belt now :)
Next week I'll be in L.A. this will be my 3rd time visiting the west coast and hopefully the 3rd time's the charm. I have a few bookings lined up via the agency I'm currently working with so hopefully they will all go well.
I've already had a taste today of the under-handed tactics of the L.A. adult entertainment industry without having even arrived yet. Apparently through a "miscommunication" another fairly large agency who ignored me initially, suddenly gained interest in me, but now (considering the final email communication with them) "regret having extended an offer". Interesting. I really hope that because of this incident I'm not labeled as a "hard ass" or "bitch" or "not good to work with". Sometimes people with power try to black list those they can't have, which just ain't cool...
I think GiirzInc will be a great agency to work with currently. I get good vibes from the agents and generally I trust my intuition. They seem to care about their talent that they manage, and that's what's important. For me my comfort level and feeling of safety and security takes priority over everything.

Shot my second adult video scene today - it went even better than the first shoot, and I'm excited to see what's next...

Life is funny, very funny. I'm being presented right now with many options and choices - all of which can lead to a successful future - however some of these options are being presented by those with seriously self serving agendas, while others are from a more "fair" source.

Lots of people from my past are resurfacing in my life now - that's how I know I'm doing well - people always want to attach themselves to someone on the rise.

Other people who claimed that they were there for me, have shown me their true colors as of late, and I'm glad - helps me thin out the heard.

The next few weeks will be crazy, and life defining - but I'm ready - mainly because I am done with the concept of "regret".

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

DO NOT tell me what I can't do.
DO NOT tell me what I won't be successful doing.
DO NOT tell me I will fail.

Since I've made my leap into adult video, I've received a lot of negativity from people who not only don't know me (but for whatever reason think they do), but who have had nothing to do with ANY part of ANY thing successful that I've managed to create or do in my life up to this point. I've been told (mainly by people who's motives to "get a piece" of me have come to be very transparent as of late), that I will get used, abused and ultimately fail in the adult video world.

Here's a piece of an email sent to me today:

"Jenna Jameson as your idol shows that it can be done, but she is the exception, definitely NOT the rule! She is also white and blonde. I can't think of any other adult star who gets regular invites to mainstream events (Mary carey?-rehab)
The most successful women of color are Heather Hunter and Dee and they're both high yellow--Dee claims to be Puerto Rican and all she gets are a few soft core "Passion Cove" episodes where she actually gets to act.
I may be wrong because I don't know you as a person, but I think this new venture presented itself and you're gonna give it a shot to "see what happens" and try to make it grow. i live in the Valley and all the studios are out here and I just don't see anyone breaking out. My friend Jia is trying to now with youtube blogs but she knows that if she does get mainstream success, it's something she will always have to explain. Hell, Vanessa Williams can't do an interview to THIS DAY without having to relive her pics in Penthouse and she's sold millions of records, been in huge movies and TV shows!
I say all this to say that I hope it's something you've given alot of thought to and have a clear plan. It's just so easy for the industry to cast black girls aside and try to minimize them. There are a couple of 'studios' out here that hire black women for the sole purpose of trying to humiliate them out of the business--they don't tell you this until you're in the middle of shooting, whereas you can quit and leave the money and the footage they've already shot or stay for the remainder of your cash and get spit on, or dick choked or double ass-penetrated. You WILL have to do a gang-bang scene at some point, and girls who don't do anal don't make much money."

Well guess what, I will not get used, abused or fail. It's not as if I'm some girl fresh off the plane thinking I'm going to be a "star" - I've worked in other areas of the adult industry since I was 22 - I'm 29 now - I'm no expert, but I'm also not an idiot.
And WHY is everyone focusing on the fact that since I'm BLACK I can't do well in the adult industry? Just maybe I'll do ok (may I dare say WELL) simply because I'm kinda smart and kinda nice looking. No matter WHAT industry I go into I will ALWAYS be BLACK and last time I checked, in every industry there are some BLACK people who have made it and who have MADE THE WAY for others. Why can't I be THAT TYPE of black person? Actually I might just BE that type of BLACK person, so SHUT THE FUCK UP!
I don't want to BE Jenna Jameson, I just want to be me, and I want to get to other places I want to go in life, and this is a great venue to do it being that I've already built a pretty damn good platform to jump off of.
I guess some people, who are pretty much losers, who have failed in their own lives and who are going NOWHERE, always anticipate others will be just like them - when I last looked in the mirror and reviewed my life's events I noticed something...I'm not like many other people out there. I've already pretty much been through hell and back and survived, so this trip back into hell won't be that much of a surprise and I sure as fuck welcome a challenge.
I will always only do what I can live with, and I can live with A LOT. I will never be ashamed of anything that I've done, nor will I have a problem explaining it because it's all gone into making me exactly who I am. I'm proud of being me and that will NEVER change because I don't try to be someone or something that I'm not.
What I do and the weight of what I do is only my business and God's business - anyone who chooses to sit back and watch may do just that - WATCH - not JUDGE.



Actually now that I've written all this I've come to realize, maybe Vanessa Williams would have gone farther if she HADN'T tried to brush the nude photo thing under the rug, she looked great, is sexy and when she tries to downplay her beauty/sex appeal for a more "serious" look, for some reason it just doesn't come off as honest.
Currently the only people I will allow close to me are people who are supportive, positive, fair, intelligent, hardworking and who are forward thinkers. If that isn't you don't bother me.

Well I figured that I needed to post a follow up to my last Myspace blog considering all the messages I received - didn't really think anyone read my blog much here but apparently I was wrong to assume ANYTHING yet again...
My first adult video shoot...I personally think I did a pretty good job - why? Well, I didn't have a panic attack, I didn't faint, I didn't freak out (at least not too much) and I didn't run away. For me, that's an accomplishment.
I couldn't have asked for a better guy to work with - check out his website: www.davepounder.com - REALLY nice, REALLY professional, VERY unusual and interesting person - I think I might be a fan...I've always had a thing for cerebral guys - nice....
I'm afraid to see the actual scene - I have a feeling that I look like a total crack head idiot or retard. Up untill today, I thought I had the "act of sex" down to a science - I don't though, but I'm not ashamed to admit it - HOWEVER being the perfectionist that I am, I am going to do all that I can to improve on my faults, because yes, I hope to get another "adult gig" soon. I liked the events of today a lot.
I enjoyed everything about this first experience actually - except for the hair and makeup - in the future I will do it myself because I know how I should look and unfortunately God graced me with an overdose of vanity.
I hate not having immidiate feedback on my performance - I'm such a fucking control freak and doing this adult scene has allowed for a loss of "complete control" which is something I haven't experienced for quite a while - maybe it'll be good for me - like a life lesson in personal growth.
I'm not gonna lie - the pay was great. I'm going to buy my mom a gift with the funds and earlier tonight I took one of my best friends out to a nice dinner - she's pregnant so she chowed down like there was no tomorrow :) I even sprung for a desert.
Though I choose to do unconventional things in life, I'm still pretty conventional when it comes to what I ultimately want...which is happiness.
Right now, at this moment, in this place, in my room, and on this website - I feel happy.

Today I think I had a bit of a nervous breakdown and began crying for almost no reason at all - I hate when that happens - but I think it needed to happen, maybe it was a sort of cleansing process that I needed.
I'm entering a new phase of my life with my decision to do adult movies - and I hope I'm strong enough to be able to handle it. So far I've received a lot of negativity over it along with a lot of "gloom and doom" warnings, however I know this is a step I need to take. I'm scared yet excited and optimistic.
I recently took on a part time job, but I walked out on it today - something in my gut told me that the establishment isn't a place I needed to be. My co-workers were a great bunch for the most part - very nice people - however all in all I don't think that it would have been a good idea to continue considering the path I'm about to take.
Well, let me get a good night's sleep, because tomorrow is a big and defining day - I want to do well.