This week's Monica @ Home broadcasts have finally been posted to www.MonicaAtHome.com and www.youtube.com/MonicaAtHome.

Below is Friday night's broadcast of which I focus on the recent Montana Fishburne sex tape scandal and how Brian Pumper should have stayed away from this naive and obviously confused 19 year old woman.









Below is Thursday night's broadcast specifically geared towards teens, young adults and parents in regards to:

1)young people being honest with their parent's and/or loved ones about working in adult entertainment
2)signs that parents may want to look for if they suspect their young adult children are currently working in or considering working in the porn industry.
3)Signs of which your daughter's (and in some cases son's) boyfriend may be a pimp.
4) How if your son or daughter has gone missing in their late teens, it might be beneficial for your to check adult agency websites when searching for them.









On Monday's broadcast I primarily discuss how I feel the minimum age limit to work as a porn talent needs to be raised from 18 years old to 21 years old - I think the most recent events in regards to Laurence Fishburne's daughter Montana - prove my point.

Well all signs are pointing to the end of the Monica Foster in Los Angeles "era". I tried for quite some time to blindfold myself to that fact, but the blindfold has been worn through to nothing by the wind, rain, and other torrential elements to where I can no longer help but face the simple facts that it's time to go.

I suppose a part of me is bitter that nothing was really as I'd hoped it would be here on the west coast. I really love this place - it's beautiful, but maybe I wasn't ready or strong enough (or both) to make it out here.

At the end of August I have to relocate to somewhere else in the country. Living here is too expensive.

The woman who created Monica Foster feels like a loser and an idiot at times. It wasn't just money, fame or career that motivated me to move here. It was love too - my love of the arts, my love of adventure and my love of wanting to achieve all I could. In the end even after I stopped performing in porn, I stayed here only due to the romantic love I felt for another. I believed that if you had enough hope and faith and drive that you couldn't fail and things would work out. Spiritually I have grown but in every other capacity I have been depleted.

Today the woman who created Monica Foster spoke with her father to ask for help. I never really want to ask anyone for help. It's the most difficult thing for me to do in the world, which is why I never ask anyone of anything. I'd rather give of myself until I have nothing left than to ask anyone for a damn thing, but today I did and in return I was asked "Why haven't you settled down and gotten married?"

Good question.

I've been married once in the past. I've never really wanted to admit this, but I'll admit it today - I loved the man I was once married to but he didn't love me. He was a tall beautiful man with several good qualities from Romania. Unfortunately he had bad qualities too - one of which was lack of respect for me and lack of honesty overall. I was around 22 at the time. He tricked me into marrying him, screwed up my credit and used me for his green card. That's all there is too it and I hope he gets treated in the same way one day by someone he finds himself caring about.

I've had other offers of marriage - since after that incident. I could have had a family before - but it wouldn't have been under good circumstances - wrong reasons. Others offers maybe possibly would have been for the right reasons - who knows - however I stayed single. I had and still do have dreams and goals. No one I've ever come across romantically has ever acknowledged or taken seriously those dreams or goals though and/or has been on a path parallel to my own.

My father asked me "what went wrong" with my and my sister's lives when it comes to men. I responded 1) Lack of a healthy male role model and idea of what a real marriage really should be (my parents split in my early teens) and 2) My mother consistently saying not to settle.

My father went on to say how in this life you just can't make it on your own - especially financially. Maybe he's right cause I'm definitely not making it and it's scary as hell - but one thing I will say is that it's not for lack of trying.

Men, I will never figure out and I don't think it's meant for me too. I have managed to have had every man I've ever dated use me for something and then discard of me (often without explanation) . Relationships - I give up. Finances - I'm clueless about.

At this point I might not ever have a marriage or even someone to date considering my adult entertainment career choices, but all in all I think it's OK because maybe I'm just dating and could possibly simply be married to myself for now.

I'll finish up with my planned Monica @ Home (www.MonicaAtHome.com) schedule for this week, but then I'm done for a while. I'm depressed and trying my best to hold on to at least a corner of the boat in this sea of hell. Maybe eventually the tide will wash me ashore somewhere nice.

Upcoming www.MonicaAtHome.com show topics for the next week.

(live broadcast on: http://www.blogtv.com/People/MonicaAtHome)

Monday:
Why the age limit to perform in adult movies (porn) needs to be raised from 18 to 21 - primarily due to the disturbing rise of "kiddie themes" in even "mainstream" adult movies - and how the "Barely Legal" themes lead to pedophilia in our society both nationally and internationally.

I believe in freedom of speech thought and expression, but as of current the pedophile themed adult content is getting out of control and is majorly warping the minds of youth not just in America but internationally as well.

I will discuss how a "healthy" sex life (in my opinion) should equate to a mature, and psychologically balanced ADULT mindset and how this mindset links to having a successful (or unsuccessful) relationships.

I'll also talk about how as an adult talent, if you're not "Contracted" (or in bed) with 1 of about 4 adult studios or adult industry key individuals who own virtually the entire "mainstream porn" industry - do you have a chance in hell of winning ANY awards (unless you shell out money to sponsor an awards event)?

Tuesday:
Tube Sites - do they REALLY negatively effect the profits of the porn industry, or in actuality do they POSITIVELY effect the profits? Could it be that their purpose is to indoctrinate and condition the current under 18 year old population into being psychologically triggered by certain (and disturbingly youthful appearing) adult actresses and sexual acts, which later down the line will successfully convert into a paying client base when they're over 18.

I also will discuss who really owns and funds these Tube sites (such as redtube.com) and how their successful "brainwashing" techniques could easily be applied to other business models ( or new porn studios for that matter ).

This particular show may actually make you wonder if the most "popular" pornstars in actuality are nothing more than the ringing bell of Pavlov's dog theory/experiment.

I will also discuss the link between Anime, Hentai and current adult (live action) movies and why you as a parent may want to keep your children away from Anime cartoons such as Sailor Moon until they are teenagers being that much of Hentai on first glance is virtually indistinguishable from G-rated Anime.

Thursday:
This show is specifically for parents of teenagers. I will xplain how to break it to your parents that you've entered the adult industry and I will discuss the signs you should look for in regards to your son or daughter potentially being recruited to work as an adult actor or actress (pornstar) - along with the warning signs of a "pimp".

I will also discuss ways in which you can locate your son or daughter if you suspect he or she has entered the adult industry.

Friday:
Ways in which I feel adult content producers (porn studio owners) could be more responsible when it comes to promoting both safe and healthy sex to young people - especially being that it's young people who are a vast majority of who keeps them afloat financially.

I will also touch on how I've noticed that the "feature dancer" agencies have a severe lack of ethnic "feature dancers".

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Another fresh installment of www.MonicaAtHome.com
broadcast on 7-12-2010

Watch more Monica @ Home on www.youtube.com/MonicaAtHome

So, during last night's broadcast of "Monica @ Home" I went a bit postal and threw a bit of a temper-tantrum due to some rude trollers in the chat room. Hey - I'm human so what can I say (well, I WILL say thank goodness for video editing software - hehe - actually maybe I'll post a video of my tantrum online sometime - it would go viral fairly quickly I'm sure because when I'm angery - I'm ANGRY).

Anyways below is last night's broadcast - the 3rd video is just something that made me very giddy :) Enjoy.







LOL, just watching the 3rd video again really cracks me up - BUT I can totally relate to the narrator (whether it's dramatized or not) because being out in nature - REAL nature sure as hell makes me happy - sends me on a bit of a high actually.

I went to another trail today at Griffith Park and had a great time - I really hope to meet more people in the area that I can enjoy these awesome nature hikes with. Being single is great and I feel settled back into true "single mode", but I'll tell you, having a partner who shares my interests sure would be nice.

I explored the Bronson caves today and they're really cool (check out the video below (or if you're reading this on myspace - check out this same blog on http://monicafoster.blogspot.com to watch the video). City life is good, but I'm entering a stage in life now of which I'm gravitating more towards urbanization's counterpart (untouched earth calms me down substantially).

I'm lucky to have had the opportunity in life to see and experience many opposing ways of simply "Being". I realize many others on this planet aren't bestowed with such a gift or opportunity.

Getting into hiking has been so great for my train of thought, because it's encouraged me to enjoy living "in the moment" rather than consistently "thinking ahead" or anticipating a desired outcome. When I'm out in nature, I really just enjoy being there - thinking back to other times in my life, I didn't enjoy the immediate moments nearly enough.

By the way, I've created the ULTIMATE pandora.com channel for my outdoor excursions. I suppose I'll have to purchase the music to keep on my ipod and/or iphone for when I explore some trails later this summer that will take me out of the 3G coverage range :)

MyHeritage: Family trees - Genealogy - Celebrities - Collage - Morph

Monica At Home - Part 1



Monica At Home - Part 2



Monica At Home - Part 3




Last night on www.MonicaAtHome.com was “Miscast Monday” and I discussed my thoughts on what I feel to be casting blunders in the upcoming porn parody “Sex in the City – In search of the Screaming O” from DreamZone entertainment.

I question why adult industry star Sara Jessie was not cast as “Carrie” (in my opinion this may possibly be one of the biggest adult parody miscasts of the year).

I also discussed The Urban X Awards and the performer of the year nominees.

Later I outlined avoiding “middle-men” who work under the guise of “webcam model agents” and “webcam studios” when beginning your career as a webcam model, and how to sign up with the webcam networks such as Imlive.com directly.

Lastly, I answered a few questions from the live viewers and chatters at the end of the broadcast.

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On a personal note, life is going pretty well right now. I'm really enjoying my energy level since getting into a regular hike/jog/workout routine (of which I am chronicling on my new blog www.ModernHikerWoman.com - look for the Griffith Park hike update later this week).

I'm far from being to the level of success of which I want to reach both personally and financially (yep I'm still broke), but I feel very wealthy as of current - especially when it comes to my current level of creativity and motivation.

In this stage in the game, I'm turning my back to anyone and anything negative or draining that attempts to enter my sphere of well being, and am only concentrating on creating a world of my own of which I feel accomplished, inspired and happy.

Speaking of turning my back on negativity, a very tall life hurdle I'm finally finding the ability to leap over is "jealousy". When I look back on many instances in my life that I walked away from, ended or that simply went sour - whenever there were issues that were truly my fault in those situations, it was always due to one common theme - my JEALOUSY (of things, people or situations of which I shouldn't have even worried about or allowed to effect how I felt at those times of my life).

I suppose when someone has a jealous nature, it's mainly due to the person being insecure. As I'm moving through life, getting myself together (truly together), and am shaping and forming my life into what I want it to be (a positive, productive and fulfilling one), I'm finding that my self confidence and self esteem are finally reaching a healthy level - so I'm losing the "jealousy tendency". However now that I'm realizing that I have little to be jealous over when it comes to others, I'm beginning to finally, for the first time in my life in a VERY long time experience another emotion, which though healthy, is very uncomfortable - regret.

I've said in the past I have little to no regret over past choices I've made - that is no longer the case.

Another fresh installment of www.MonicaAtHome.com



Tonight I discuss avoiding "middle men" when signing up to be a webcam girl and the new adult series from New Sensations "The Romance Series".

Another fun broadcast of www.MonicaAtHome.com from last night.
The next live broadcast will be this Friday evening at 10pm PST.


Monica Foster at Home

I finally put together a new blog on Runyon Canyon for my new site and blog www.ModernHikerWoman.com as well. Enjoy :)

Another installment of www.MonicaAtHome.com


Monica Foster At Home


Shelly Lubben "fighting evil" via irrational methods, stating (as usual) that all porn is bad/evil, and at time code 6:50 Shelley mentions "gays turning straight" while she was ministering to people in prison - since when Shelley to gays need to be turned straight? Tell me, should blacks be turned white as well?




Later on in this video, Shelley generalizes all porn women as being "fake" and "unhappy" and not having anything going on for themselves - speak for yourself Lubben - I'm more real than your bible thumping irrational prejudiced fat ass ever was or will be.

Well it's Saturday - and what a week it's been - well in actuality it's been a rather eventful past couple of weeks.

I've managed to get in disagreements with 3 people I considered good friends over the past few weeks. I wish all of the disagreements (each of which was completely independent of one another) could have been avoided but as some people say - life goes on and people change - ironically it wasn't any of the people I've known who have changed - it's simply ME.

I'm most likely going to retract for a bit - most likely for the duration of the Summer. There are many things I need to focus on career wise and personally, and though I wanted to reach out to include others in my career goals, and ideas, I've found that at this point in time I need to work 100% independently. I've always been a very self sufficient and and independent thinker, worker and lifestyler (as many of you, my readers I'm sure are aware of by now) so I accept that this is my nature as of current and I'm just going to go with it.

Often times I become very frustrated with others because I view things a bit differently than many do being that I'm a natural "fixer" and "system builder". When I see how a system can either be implemented or repaired in order to make things easier, more efficient and overall better and others don't or aren't willing to even TRY to see things from my point of view I get very DISAPPOINTED.

I hate being disappointed because I live for excitement. I'm and adventure girl and I'm a bit of an adrenaline junky, so I'm starting to realize that since that's the case, I'm best off (at least at this point in my life) working on my own little goals, celebrating my own little successes, embarking on my own little adventures and primarily dealing with others who live along similar wave lengths.

Yesterday was a nice but enlightening day. I hung out with a girlfriend of mine and we caught up on each other's lives. She and I both have aspirations to create something wonderful within the world of adult entertainment. She is more of a "team spirit" type of girl (she's going into business with her boyfriend and his roommate), where as I'm going at my ventures solo. What's always fabulous about hanging out with her though, is that we encourage each other, give each other honest and positive advice and input, and laugh at the pitfalls we've each encountered along our personal and professional journeys.

I'm rather cerebral and have been VERY cerebral especially over the past year or so which is what has prompted me to actively settle into a regular workout routine. As of current my sport of choice is hiking. Today I went over to Runyon for a VERY long hike - this time along the advanced trails.

I'm not sure whether I was brave or just plain stupid to go at these trails alone, but hey - it's Saturday and the park was full of people so I suppose I wasn't really alone, plus I had my Iphone jacked into Pandora.com so I had fantastic tunes along the way.

If you don't currently have a pandora.com account - GET ONE! Today I was listening to a station I created based on Pink's song "U + ur hand" - I love aggressive "guuuurl" music right now because when I work out I'm expelling a lot of aggressive energy as of current. Sometimes I think it's odd that I'm as aggressive as I am by nature being that I'm a Capricorn - good thing my sign isn't Aries.

I love observing the groups of people and their dogs on my hikes at Runyon. Today I enjoyed going along one of the trails with a wolf pack - Actually the dogs were Husky's I think but it felt like a friendly high energy wolf pack - it was kind of hard to even decipher the "people" from the "dogs" as they nearly shared the same vibrational frequency.

On one of the peaks of Runyon currently there's a prayer box - again, you have to be either brave or stupid to get to it, but it's worth it. The box is set up to where you write your prayer, goal, aspiration, desire, or wish - insert it in the box, and then slide the door over to read one from someone else. It's interesting to read other's thoughts - especially on a peak with such a beautiful and inspiring panoramic view. I'll be many other those shared thoughts will find a way to manifest themselves into our reality through the minds of those who take the time to read them - it takes a really strong mind to convince the body to make it up to that box :)

Though I've said this before on one of my most recent www.MonicaAtHome.com broadcasts, I LOVE my Iphone - it truly is going to be a dividing line between the "haves" and the "have nots" in the near future, but I'll tell you why I like it the most - aside from the Iphone allowing me to be much more productive - it also allows me to be an introvert when in a very social setting. I like that.

Well time to get to work - I'll be live on webcam the entire weekend doing private shows - if you don't catch me online here are a few other cool sites to occupy your mind and maybe get you out of the house (if you have an iphone you can take your work with you).

www.Imjustwalkin.com
www.modernhiker.com

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Another fresh broadcast of Monica @ Home!

www.MonicaATHome.com

Monica Foster @ Home

New blog posted on:

www.GettingOutOfPorn.com

(updating the DNS servers - this blog will be live again in 48 hours)

If you're really curious about my life at this point in time - and if you want to stop intolerance, prejudice and racism this is a MUST read.

Most recent post from www.GettingOutOfPorn.com:

Since taking the leap to work independently in the adult entertainment industry rather than for other studios, though there was a lull in the beginning (my transition period) I now am busier than ever working as a webcam girl from home, working as a talent development consultant for my growing client base, and working on getting my adult and mainstream content studio together (so that I can continue my career in and out of porn from a behind the scenes position).

Aside from being busy professionally, I've gotten back into the swing of things with my workout routine - have been hiking Runyon Canyon every day this week. I still haven't quit smoking completely, but I've MAJORLY tapered down my drinking to only special social occasions and my bi-weekly "girls night dinner parties" :) I feel great about that and very balanced.

The end of this month and next month will be pretty busy - I have a comedy event of which I'm the producer of, that I'll be putting together for July 21st called Laffgasm.com - the website will be launched soon. I'm really looking forward to putting on more events in the future as a part of my "talent development" work being that there are so many talented people that just need a venue to shine at in order to boost their careers.

Also on the 29th of June (this month), I may be having a "public discussion" after the upcoming Aids Healthcare Foundation meeting (click here for details) with a woman named Shelley Lubben who runs an "organization" called The Pink Cross. I used to admire this woman for her supposed attempts to help people, but after doing a bit of research on her, watching her interviews, and having heard about some of the realities of her organization from a few trusted friends, I'm not so certain that even she is clear as to what her true agenda is.

I think as of current that she is very self centered, immature, emotionally stunted, manipulative and on a quest of fame at the expense of hurting others and their livelihoods.

What I don't like about Lubben most of all, is that she blames everyone and everything else in life for circumstances she found herself in within life, except for herself. She seems to see the world as black and white rather than billions of shades of gray and colors.

We all have free will and we all make CHOICES in life. She CHOSE to work as a prostitute and a porn actress. No one held a gun to her head. Her career choice didn't work out for her and she chose to leave the industry completely, however that was her choice - and for her to demonize EVERYONE and EVERYTHING associated with it now is just plain wrong.

This particular blog is about how I realized that working as a full time porn actress for other studios wasn't right for me - however along the way I realized that I like working in the adult entertainment industry in other ways and I probably will continue to do so for quite some time.

Yes, my views and decisions have changed over time, but I'm constantly evolving - that's what healthy people who are trying to become the best versions of themselves do.

Lubben is pathetic is my book as of current and her views and what she preaches and wants to happen in regards to the eradication of the entire adult entertainment industry makes her a very dangerous woman. It is fanatical and extreme individuals like her in this society who promote things like intolerance, prejudice and racism.

Individuals who are quiet or low key due to their positions in society or their careers, but who share people like Lubben's views and who want to morph our society into a land of hate and intolerance are unfortunately who fund people like Lubben which is why Lubben needs to be stopped (I'm actually very curious as to WHO exactly funds Lubben and WHY).

As for Lubben's history, she's gone from one co-dependent situation to another her entire life - from a prostitute who most likely had a pimp, to a marriage, to depending on a religious organization for her livelihood. I doubt she's ever had a real job or even been independent in her life.

This Lubben woman I feel has targeted me because she sees me, my way of life, and my thoughts as a threat to her. Why? Because I tell people for FREE and without asking for donations from others to continue my blogs, websites, and work (I fund my ventures myself) how they can get out of porn if they want to and rebuild their lives without having to "repent" and without adhering to a particular religion.

In the past Lubben ran around chasing Steve Hirch (who probably told her to jump off a cliff - there's a video of this on youtube - I'll find the link and post it later ), and since he and everyone else ignores her, she now is going after a young black woman who's single and self employed trying to do her best in life, who is over a decade younger than she is (who who isn't even an active porn actress right now).

It's amazing to me how certain people IN porn don't like me , because my presence and mild success negates everything they want porn actresses to believe they have to do in order to be successful - while certain people AGAINST anything to do with porn hate me because though I feel changes in the way porn operates need to be made, I still think it's a cool field to work in and I definitely don't think religion needs to be even remotely involved.

If Lubben were to "stop porn" forever she would cripple not only hardcore porn producers financially (not just shady ones, but individuals who are GOOD and PROFESSIONAL people who run their business appropriately), but softcore producers, webcam networks, independent webcam girls (such as myself), most likely strip clubs, cable networks, online adult movie networks, and the list goes ON AND ON AND ON.

Bottom line is she needs to complete HER OWN road to recovery, deal with her OWN past demons and MOVE ON in her life and maybe get a regular job or volunteer position with an organization that has nothing to do with adult entertainment or anything else that causes her to relive her past.

Well that's my update for this blog for today - make sure to check my other blogs and websites to keep up with me :)

I woke up relatively early this morning and full of energy and zip - primarily because I'm simply feeling very good about myself and where I am in life as of late.

The cool thing about working for yourself independently, is that you have the ability to set as small or as large of goals for yourself as you like, whenever you like.

Currently I'm working very hard on finally completing about 3 online projects I started around 6 months ago. One in particular - www.MightyAfrodite.com (a project I dub as the sequel to 'Monica Foster') is just about to launch, and it's launch time is coinciding with transitions I'm going through professionally and personally quite nicely.

Sometimes I wonder what others think of my silly little projects, ambitions and goals - I'm sure many out there think I'm a nut job, but now days I'm fine with that - I'm definitely a different kind of person - artsy and dare I say eccentric, but hey - that's just me and the longer I'm here on this planet, the more it's coming clear to me that the only person's opinion I really need to worry about is my own.

I've started dating someone new - who you may ask? ME! I'm really enjoying the single life, but I've found it really fulfilling to inject romantic and sensual elements into my personal space physically and psychologically. In the past I didn't spoil myself too often (possibly because I had a lower sense of self worth than what I have now), but being in the fresh mindset that I'm in as of current, I'm giving it a try and so far I like it :)

I suppose you could say, I'm beginning to realize that although being with a partner who you love and care about is wonderful (and I do hope to find that again someday), life can feel just as complete when you're solo if you make the effort. I actually am feeling that it may enrich your spiritual worth to date yourself for a while.

I'll say one more thing though...the Hustler store of course helps quite a bit - love ya vibrator technology :)

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Another new broadcast of Monica @ Home (www.MonicaAtHome.com)


Monica Foster @ Home

Coming through the tunnel...

Though it will still be some time before I leave Los Angeles physically, my mind has already relocated - and it's a great thing.

When I first came here from Florida, I thought I was journeying to my life's final destination. I was chasing things, connections, people and situations that I thought I needed in order to make my life successful and complete. I was chasing what I think most of our society is trained to chase.

I didn't just get glimpses of what I thought I wanted and where I thought I wanted to be - I was able to live within that destination. It was like test driving a car, but more...in fact it was like being able to take out a short term lease out on a car. The car drove smooth for a while, and when it did, it was a very sweet ride - but unfortunately it was a car that cost more money in maintanance and repair than what it was worth.

After one too many costly repairs on the care I leased, I decided to turn the car back in. I figured out I'm better off building my own mode of transportation from scratch. Probably not even a car - I think I'm going to go with attempting to build a teleportation unit...something along the lines of the Star Trek beaming stations.

The first few prototypes might have a few bugs of course, but eventually I'll get the design right. Regardless of whether or not my teleportation unit beams me to the exact destination of where I'm trying to go, at least I'll get there in a fraction of the time that driving would take.

I know the above 2 paragraphs reads strangely, but those who know me will understand.

What's the most interesting to me, is that I've come across people who have been here in Los Angeles far longer than I have, who STILL have their car on lease and are putting almost all of their hard earned spiritual income into the maintanance and repair of it - even though they know the car simply has a flawed design. Maybe they think that if they just get it repaired ONE LAST TIME it'll give them that lifetime of a smooth ride...who knows.

Well I'm glad to have made it through the dark Los Angeles tunnel and back out into the open. The plain I'm on now is nice, sun shiny, a pleasant temprature and wide open. It's a pretty expansive plain with no end in sight, so I suppose it'll be a long journey ahead, but that's OK...I've got a shit load of stamina as many of you out there already know ... and long journeys are what make me the happiest.

The past few weeks have definitely put the porn industry in the spotlight - but unfortunately in a rather negative light.

There have been 2 murders in our country as of recent by porn talents, one on the east coast (by a female) and one on the west coast (by a male).

A link to the story on the Tampa, Florida pornstar murderer Sunny Dae can be found by clicking here.

A link to the national news story on the Los Angeles (West Hills), California pornstar murderer Steven Hill can be found by clicking here.

It's amazing to me how these events have happened virtually back to back. I will share my thoughts on these stories on Monday's broadcast of www.MonicaAtHome.com which will be live on http://www.blogspot.com/People/MonicaFoster at 10pm EST / 1am PST

Screw personality - Good male genetics smell great! To a woman who's 31, single and without children, a healthy male smells REALLY good - especially when you're intoxicated.

Last night I had the pleasure of hanging out with a good friend of mine, Miss Julie Meadows (check out her blog - it's great). I'm very fortunate to have met her, because honestly, before I had, I'd pretty much lost faith in people who live in Los Angeles. She and her husband are a great example of the fact that it truly is possible to be down to earth and "real" in this city of superficiality.

Anyways, Miss Meadows had me over for some kick ass meatloaf and mashed potatoes. I haven't had meatloaf in a VERY long time. I've actually never had meatloaf that I liked before, but I LOVE Meadow's meatloaf. Why? Well, because the woman has true culinary talent AND she made it with tomato soup/sauce! YUM!!!!!!!!!!

After dinner her husband showed up with a nice piece of man meatloaf. LOL. Just kidding - well, not really. He'd been out with a friend of his who simply was very refreshing (from my perspective) to come across.

Earlier in the evening in fact, Miss Meadows and I had a good conversation in regards to dating, and natural selection - and the movie "Species" was brought up. When I think of that movie, it always makes me laugh - in a bit of a diabolical way... If I'd been the primary character in "Species" tonight, Miss Meadow's husband's friend would have be in trouble.

Even though the piece of man meatloaf I encountered tonight, made me go a bit "Species" in a psychological way, fortunately the wine I had toned me down a bit.

Being 31 is interesting - especially being that I live in Los Angeles - land of the "pretty male". On a biological level, I think my body is DEFINITELY in breeding mode (my sex drive is extremely high at this point - luckily I have a strong mind and sense of self so it's manageable), but psychologically and mentally I'm running in the opposite direction. Don't get me wrong, I'm having the time of my life right now, however I'm very grateful to have a good head on my shoulders and for birth control methods.

Another great thing about Miss Meadows and her husband is that they have a great couch to crash out on when the wine over takes you. Thanks guys!

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Well I decided to rebuild my site www.MonicaAtHome.com on a wordpress blog template this morning.

Yes, the task was very time consuming, but it was well worth the effort. I just finished up, and now the site and my blogtv.com videoblogs are SOOOO much more organized and searchable.

I've also moved the show from 6pm PST to 10pm PST due to the excellent advice from one of my viewers.

In time I will probably edit each Monica @ Home webcast and upload them directly to the hosting account the blog is on. Maybe I'll even insert advertisements for my own projects and anyone interested in buying adspace on the videos.

Well, now that www.MonicaAtHome.com is fixed and much easier to update and maintain I can move on to my next project on my "to do" list :)

Another broadcast of Monica @ Home ( http://www.blogspot.com/People/MonicaFoster )

Tonight I discussed adult industry gossip, adult industry stars (who I like and dislike), gave a few webcamming tips, brought up the issue of how many adult stars are groomed to look like japanimation (anime) characters, and related how I feel about older men who have trouble relating to women their own age.


part 1


part 2

Well, I was drinking some pinot noir this morning, and I decided to do a video blog...I hat quite a bit to talk about - so enjoy.











For more Monica @ Home broadcasts visit: www.MonicaAtHome.com

Oh, and to clarify (I lost track of thought in my video blog) in regards to my "speaking up" at the AHC / Osha hearing - screw that - considering how shaky and corrupt of a foundation that the porn industry is built on, I'm not about to speak up to make a change so that I can get shot by a bunch of confederate flag carrying pricks.

I'd rather wait for all the dumb asses to eliminate each other and then when the dust clears, create my foundation atop of top of their decaying corpses - that's what smart people do.

AND one more side note - in this video blog I wondered aloud whether or not Jules Jordan is a trustfund baby - apparently he's not - visit: http://business.avn.com/articles/American-Dreamer-Jules-Jordan-Interview-398163.html to read a recent interview on him - very interesting - gives me hope in being able to do SOMETHING with my life at some point.

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As of late I've been inspired to add more feminine, sensual and romantic themed elements into my life - from my wardrobe, to my apartment decor, to the places I go to hang out.

Think pink, flowers, crystally items, cute dresses, sweet smelling incense, soft pillows, satin sheets, passionate music, etc.

Why?

Well because though I'm settling into being a single and happy woman, it doesn't mean my life has to lack the excitement and thrill of romance, sensuality and love. I'm starting to realize that it might be possible to have these fulfilling elements minus the man (at least for now).

Over the next few weeks I have a feeling that the new style and way of life I'm sliding into will reflect in my online presence - so to all my fans and friends - enjoy the upcoming additions to the world of "Monica Foster" :)

Young people between the ages of birth and 16 right now, are much more advanced and aware than when I was in that age bracket. I suppose every generation makes that observation though, after all, it's simply evolution...however I think that certain evolutionary "leaps" are currently in play.

I read a book a few years ago called "The care and feeding of indigo children". I'm glad I did because if I ever have a family and generate a child anywhere along the lines of the one in the video below, I'll need all the pre-family prep I can get.

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I have a new post on GettingOutOfPorn.com

Today I will be doing a special broadcast of "Monica @ Home" at 3pm PST as well on:

http://www.blogtv.com/People/MonicaFoster / www.MonicaAtHome.com


Monica Foster @ Home

Monica Foster @ home - Broadcast your self LIVE

More Monica @ Home archives can be found on www.MonicaAtHome.com and BlogTv.

Monica @ Home broadcast on Justin Long taking a stand against racism and porn and Jenna Jameson getting beat up by Tito Ortiz.


erase - Broadcast your self LIVE

Just a note to let you all know that I probably won't be blogging for the next few weeks. I'm putting all of my effort and energy as of current into working as much as possible both on and offline so that I can move forward with my life ventures, dreams and goals.

I might post some photos and/or video clips, but I'm keeping most of my "Monica Foster" thoughts to myself (the woman who created "Monica Foster") for now.

Well, I decided this afternoon that I need to do some serious spring cleaning, so that's what I've been up to tonight - along with indulging in a "Buffy the Vampire Slayer series" marathon courtesy of my Netflix account.

This week was pretty good - got a lot of work done, reunited with an old friend/co-worker, hung out with some new friends and was even invited out to dinner at the oh so trendy Rainbow Bar and Grill in West Hollywood.

A new phone is on the agenda for this coming week and hopefully a new (but used) car will FINALLY be following.

I wish I had more to write about, but I don't at the moment - life is pretty stable and I'm enjoying myself.

I've written a new post on www.GettingOutOfPorn.com - please read. - It was inspired by "The Firm".

I'm glad this was put together. To all my readers, fans and friends out there, please spread this message.

For those of you who haven't been keeping up with my show "Monica @ Home" (www.MonicaAtHome.com) - here's some select broadcasts to bring you up to speed. Remember the show is every weekday at 6pm PST (and it's free).


Monica Foster @ Home


Monica Foster @ Home


Monica Foster @ Home

Well, here's another rather abstract blog for you, my lovely readers - but for those of you who know me well - you'll know exactly what I'm writing about and what this particular blog relates to (it's really not so abstract after all).

I get it.

I'm awake.

When doors close, others open.

Opportunities present themselves when you least expect them to,

but always when you're really ready.

Someone told me last night, "You need to get over it." - so true, and that's a piece of advice I'll be living by eternally - starting....now.

I'm awake.

I'm ready to explore.

Thanks.

So what's next?

Last night's mini-dinner party was a success! I really enjoy cooking soooo much. Especially when it's cooking for good company and a bottle or 2 of wine is thrown into the equation as well.

It's been a relatively good week. I've managed to have maintained a nice balance between work and fun time (even though quite often my work IS fun time - lucky me), which is something I really want to strive to do the remainder of the year.

I re-read my most recent blog today, and I've come to a realization (actually one of my dinner party guests last night helped me to reach this realization as well). I don't miss my ex romantically at all - and when it really comes down to it, I'm not certain I even miss his "friendship" because he was never really a REAL friend. I just miss the ideal of what I wanted him to be, and what I wanted the relationship with him to be - which in reality was just a dream and not even close to being real at all.

I have enough fantasy and role playing in my work life with my cam shows - I want any future romantic relationships I have to be real - not an intangible dream.

Zinfandel wine - I enjoy it so much - the flavor, the overtones of the flavor - but most of all the raw emotional honesty that it invokes from within me.

This particular blog will probably give off the vibe that I'm a weak, overly romantic, overly sentimental and an overly obsessive person, but so be it.

I miss my ex - like the desert misses the rain - literally.

It's interesting - since the "breakup" (or more like my inability to understand his actions) I've had a buffet (more than qualified by my standards) of men approach me and offer to date me. If I were many of the the other women on this planet I'd be more than happy to try out the alternatives - however I'm me, the woman who created "Monica Foster", a stubborn ass (Capricorn) bitch.

I'm not perfect. I know in my rants in previous blogs I've painted myself as the "victim", but I'm far from being innocent. However I tried. I believed that the relationship could work if I and the man of my ultimate affection worked hard enough and sacrificed enough. I hate being such an idealist, but that's simply who I am, and there's noting I can do about it.

It's been a solid month now since I've last heard from him. It's 12:30am right now on April 15, 2010. I suppose he's moved on. Maybe he's glad and relieved to be rid of me. That thought kills a part of my being, but if that's the case, so be it, and I truly hope he's happy. It's not in me to truly wish "ill will" upon anyone - especially him. I wish the best for everyone that I love and / or ever have ever loved.

I supposed I simply wish I'd had some closure on this past relationship. Truthfully I don't want it to be over. A part of me wants him back. So much happened that I won't go into ever on this blog. A good new friend of mine who's young, but who is very mature helped me come to some understandings in regards to myself and in regards to what happened between my ex and I. Right now I hurt so badly, but maybe in time I'll get over it. I just need to come to some understanding as to what exactly I need to get over.

One of my major faults - I'm a jealous person. It's a fault yes, but sometimes justifiable.

I don't see how I'll ever be able to open my heart again to anyone else to be honest. I realize now that though I think I'm a cool and great girl, I'm just not the personality type for everyone - that was the case with the man I fell in love with. He's not at fault entirely - and neither am I - however I did want an unrealistic ideal that simply didn't (I don't think at least) exist within him.

I'll miss him always, and I'm not sure how I'm going to move forward - I know eventually I will being that I've made progress so far, but I'm not sure how I'm going to complete the process...yep - I'm weak.





I don' wish how I feel, or how Kesha illustrates how I feel in thw song above, upon anyone on this earth - ever.

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The sequel to Monica Foster - www.MightyAfrodite.com as many of you know, has taken much longer than I'd anticipated - a couple months longer in fact - however there's a reason as to why.

When I first started the project / venture , it had a completely different concept and meaning attached to it than it does now. I've decided actually to split the project into 2 parts - www.MightyAfrodite.com & www.MightyAfroDiva.com - once the sites are launched you'll see why this was necessary.

It's amazing as to how something as simple as the natural African-American hair texture can evoke such a strong reaction in people. I decided to test out the MightAfrodite/MightyAfrodiva look tonight on webcam. I've received extreme positive reaction from my webcam viewers and extreme negative as well. Later in life I may have to write a psychological analysis in regards to this project/venture.

Anyways to all my loyal fans and friends, later this month you will be in for a treat so stick with me - in the mean time enjoy the Mighty Afrodite preview weekend :)

It's 5:42am and this isn't a blog being written from me staying up all night. I actually went to sleep early last night, slept VERY well and naturally woke up early today.

Yesterday was an interesting, yet overall nice day. I did my usual daily webcam shows, updated a few pages on my websites, did a short abdominal workout (hey summer's coming and I want to look good in my bikini at the beach), and in the evening had a really nice dinner with Julie Meadows and her husband.

The dinner was the highlight of my day (GREAT tasting salmon and asparagus with a lovely red wine - yummmmmmmmm) - as many of you know I don't get out of the house too much, and when I do, it's rare that it's to hang out with people that I find truly interesting, driven and nice. If I knew more people in LA like Julie and her husband I actually wouldn't be so quick to want to relocate.

On the way to have dinner with Julie I unfortunately was rear ended by an overly hyped up, yet attractive guy in a Mercedes. It wasn't a big deal and there was no damage to my already beat up SUV so I won't be filing any reports. I love my beat up SUV - it's tough and it's taken good care of me on my cross country drive from FL to CA back in July of 2008. Since I've lived here it's struggled but has lasted. I think my SUV and I may be strongly connected :)

Well I think I might go for a run this morning. I need to expel some energy. See you all on webcam today and tonight! Also don't miss my half hour free broadcast of Monica @ Home on http://www.blogtv.com/People/MonicaFoster

The lovely, intelligent and fun Julie Meadows interviewed me for her latest documentary project a couple months ago. You can watch the 6 part interview here:

http://www.MikeSouth.com



New post on www.GettingOutOfPorn.com entitled:
Rethinking my choice of not performing for other studios.

It's only the beginning of the week, but already I'm a busy busy bee.

I've created a financial plan for myself which I will try my best to stick to over the next couple of years. If all goes according to my plan, I should be in a strong enough position monetarily to not only put out my first "Monica Foster" branded release at the end of this year, but to also put a down payment on a condo or townhome as well. Cross your fingers for me :)

I've decided exactly where I want to relocate to next by they way BUT I will keep it under wraps for now. Come July 1st though, I will be leaving Los Angeles for at least a year!

I watched an AWESOME series on Netflix called "Cashmere Mafia" last week. I STRONGLY recommend this series (it was a TV show) to all of my fans and friends. It totally shows the pros and cons of being a strong and career driven woman in today's society.

Though I consider myself a "cute, sexy, artistic, nerdy and sometimes overly dramatic" woman, I also have come to realize that I'm much more of a kick ass business woman than I give myself credit for.

Looking back on a few people who I've allowed into my life in the past, I can understand now why they acted as negatively they did towards me - they were intimidated. There wasn't any need for them to be of course, but hey some people are just insecure.

So I've decided that anyone new who I allow into my life in a substantial way from now on, must have a lot of self confidence and drive themselves. Bottom line, they need to have PURPOSE in their lives (as I do).

Well, time for me to get back on webcam. See you online!

Check out this fun video by Jannelle Monae:

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This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Had a good night Tuesday evening - went to Thomas Ward's (www.twardcomedy.com) comedy showcase, shot the shit with a few old and new aquaintences, had a few drinks (well more like a LOT of drinks) and fortunately made it home in one piece.

I've found that many times I WAY over do it with the alcohol when I go out and I'm putting a stop to it - it's not good for my health, other's perception of me, and how I view myself.

Overall I think most people don't see who I really am. They just see what they want to see. It's not a surprise however being that for quite some time I only saw what I wanted to see in others. I guess that's what most of us do for a substantial amount of time in our lives.

I saw my ex boyfriend as a great guy - so great in fact that when his band got back together for a reunion concert several months ago he didn't even bother to invite me and acted surprised when I showed up - I suppose I wasn't good enough in his eyes to be there (even though I know now that I was too good for him, which was what probably activated his insecurities).

I saw a couple friends of mine as just "such good girlfriends" - so great of friends they were, that one in actuality was just recruiting customers and fans for her weed selling musician boyfriend, while the others can't be bothered to hang out any other time than when THEY feel the need to socialize or need help. Fucking flakes.

I tried to go on a date the other night - big freaking mistake. I was told by the person who introduced me to him that he was a really "nice guy". Wrong. You'd think that someone successful enough to have a wikipedia article and many other write-ups on them would have enough class or common sense not to treat women as common prostitutes - well I suppose due to my having done porn, that's all I can expect nowdays. You see, I didn't realize that just because a guy cooks you dinner you're expected to sleep with him - apparently in Los Angeles you are.

Of course after the idiot realized that I was going home and that he WASN'T going to get laid, he got rude, but it didn't stop there. He THEN had the nerve to try to text me tonight as if I still on some level thought he was an "ok guy". After I had to shoot him down AGAIN, he went on and on about how he "patiently listened to my negative talking for hours" the whole night we had dinner. COME ON. I actually find it fucking pathetic that someone would put up with my oh so boring negative banter for even a minute let alone "hours" just in attempt to get into my pants. If I'm so fucking annoying WHY even bother with me? There are far more attractive women than myself with vagina's just like mine that men like him (over the hill short pricks with receding hairlines who think that TIGHT ripped jeans are still somehow cool) can date and attempt to fuck.

As of late, I've found that nearly every person I've gotten to know in Los Angeles has simply used me, tried to use me, or has most likely laughed at me behind my back.

Lately the jerks coming out of the woodwork in attempt to pimp me is out of control. If I want to be pimped jackasses, I will PIMP MY SELF.

Realizing what I fool I've been, in conjunction with just about everyone who I care about and who I thought cared about me (not just friends, but family too) exiting my life, I've decided that it's time to shut EVERYONE out all together. I've had WAY more hurt and betrayal in the past few months than some probably ever experience in a lifetime. It's a bit depressing, but I suppose it's a sign that it's about time for me to move on - emotionally and physically - so I've made the firm decision to move ASAP (I've noted on this blog before that I'm relocating, but the need to do so now is about 10 times more urgent - it's not a life or death type situation or anything - I've just had enough or Los Angeles for now).

To those of you who are reading this, please make sure you get as many webcam shows with me as possible, because I really need to rack up some moving dollars!

Yea, this blog was kind of negative, but hey, this is where my life is at as of current. Let this be a record for any young woman who decides to try porn, regular acting or just about anything out here in Los Angeles as to how tough this city and situation is.

Thanks and see you online soon.