I'm glad I'm not the judge of "Pornstar Court" - Thoughts on Daisy Dare vs. MarcFromTheDark

Over the past week or so I've come to learn much more about the mentality of various seasoned pornstars,
pornstars new to the industry & various adult industry "professionals" than I'd really care to.

Late August I learned of a situation a young woman who has recently entered ths industry under the name of Daisy Dare was a part of.

Please read her "manifesto" (posting) here which is an account of her experiences with several individuals working within the adult industry in various capacities.

As you my readers know, I'm all about "Women's Empowerment" - and that I'm very sensitive and empathetic in regards to females being exploited and/or taken advantage of within the adult entertainment sphere. However over time, I've learned that males can be equally "victimized". I've also come to notice over time that in certain situations both male and female "victims" - may also be predators in disguise whether it be consciously or subconsciously. It's very easy for people to play a "role" to gain support and sympathy - and sometimes even if a person is legitimately a "victim" (especially if the person is starved for attention - whether that attention be positive or negative) they may overly exaggerate the level of "trauma" they experienced to gain not only additional support, but in effort to extend the "drama" they've drawn others into for as long as possible.

Initially upon reading Daisy Dare's post, I was livid in regards to my thoughts of the individuals she's made very serious accusations against. Some of the details of which she outlined in her posting echoed situations of which I've both heard of and witnessed myself, while I was an active pornstar (adult actress). I immediately jumped to her defense upon reading Daisy's account of her experiences, and brought attention to the situation via the online venues of which I frequent.

Friday evening (September 2, 2011) I reached out to Daisy Dare and spoke with her and counseled her to the best of my ability for over an hour on the phone. I listened to her side of the situation and her perspective of the events which took place that she outlined in her "manifesto". Considering all of the "horrors" she'd dealt with I suggested she head home to Ohio (I even knew someone I could get in touch with who would have most likely purchased her a plane ticket home free of charge considering that this was an "emergency"). However Daisy expressed that she didn't want to leave Los Angeles and that she wants to continue in porn and become the "dark haired Jesse Jane" (which was something I found odd and a tad unrealistic, considering the trauma she outlined - but I respected her decision).

I gave her suggestions as to how to go about working in porn from this stage on. I shared with her which agents I felt were trustworthy (Jim South of World Modelling and Mark Spiegler), how to market herself effectively via building her own website and I went as far the next morning to contact Misty Dawn of www.MeowMistiDawn.com to suggest she and Daisy do a content trade considering they both are tattooed models.

I also offered Daisy a chance to share her story in an interview on www.MonicaAtHome.com of which initially she accepted but then later declined without notice at the exact scheduled time of the interview (Sunday at 4 pm) due to the advice from her legal council that she'd attained the day after I'd spoken with her (Saturday). I told Daisy at that point, that I understand and that I wish her the best.

That same evening, Marc Drescher of www.MarcInTheDark.com contacted me via twitter to attempt to explain his side of the situation. Initially I turned him away, but then after thinking about the situation, and being that I was curious to gain as many details, facts, and perspectives as possible so that I could attain a bit of clarity (primarily to satisfy my own curiosity) I requested he grant me a Skype interview to post on www.MonicaAtHome.com - of which he did.

After speaking with Marc, I began to note a few holes, conflicting facts and skewed judgement (and views) on both Daisy's side and Marc's side. Both parties in my view are in the wrong in a multitude of ways, however what was interesting was that I found Marc to be willing to listen and admit to his mistakes, lack of good judgement and professionalism; where as Daisy Dare was not. I also found it interesting that Marc did not attempt to pull sympathy - where as Daisy continues to do so aggressively.

The interview with Marc lead to 2 additional interviews. The 1st with two witnesses (Brittany Blaze and Amanda Blow) who met Daisy on an Interracial (IR) live webcam scene (of which was also recorded via Daisy's knowledge to be sold as "content" later. The 2nd a single witness (Tucker Slain) who Daisy worked with live on webcam while she was staying with Marc and who is also Marc's roommate.

I feel that Brittany and Amanda expressed very factually what transpired from their perspective in regards to Marc and Daisy. Both women in my view were actually very concerned for Daisy and did attempt to help her the best they knew how in the situation. Of course Brittany and Amanda have loyalty to their friend and colleague Marc, however I feel that they did realize that any future professional contact with Daisy was not a good idea. They didn't have any negative feelings in regards to Daisy as a whole, and didn't have any pre-meditated agendas in regards to Daisy to begin with from what I could asses.

I feel Tucker expressed the chain of events that transpired that he witnessed from his perspective well. I feel he did turn a "blind eye" to certain events of which he should not have, however I will say that professionally he is looking at working in the adult entertainment sphere long-term and is not seeking to purposefully hurt anyone. I think some of his thoughts on what is deemed as "professional" are a tad skewed, however he comes from a rather "male centered" school of thought in my view.

Tucker admits in the past (when he first entered porn), he may have been "overly eager" in his business dealings, which wound up tarnishing his reputation - but he appears to be sane enough, and have presence of mind to realize that at this point he needs to retract a bit to rebuild his image and regain his peer's trust.

Since conducting the 3 interviews in regards to the "Daisy Dare vs. MarcFromTheDark accusations" - Daisy Dare has lashed out extensively towards me, despite my attempted efforts to help her. Daisy has also expressed that she wants to sue me (though I'm not sure why). I'm a self defined journalist, and though I'm not perfectly neutral on every occasion, I do my best to find the base facts and truth of situations that cross my desk.

My webcast www.MonicaAtHome.com is an independent venture. I do not get "paid" to run the site or to produce my video blogs.

I my view, Daisy's behavior could be due to a lack of social skills and/or immaturity, but there could be other underlying reasons as well. I attempted to reason with her and "wish her the best" - but unfortunately she crossed the line with me so I retaliated and called her "white trash" - because in my view, she is acting exactly as such.

Now I will state I feel any ethnicity can be deemed "trashy" - white, black, asian, latin, in-between, etc. When I think of a "trashy" person I think of a "manipulative" person. In my view considering Daisy's actions, carelessness, level of self entitlement and lack of being able to admit she may be wrong on certain levels and on some issues leads me to believe that though she may be a victim on some level of Marc, she's also a victim of herself.  This is something that I feel Daisy needs to address and correct (rather than allowing herself to be continually enabled by others, who have a  "porn political" agenda).

A pornstar by the name of Alana Evans - who I've never attacked nor have even had a conversation with, but who has written badly of me on many occasions on various online venues (stemming back to when Darrah Ford's blogs were active) has gone out of her way to insult and start various rumors in regards to my intentions. Since becoming aware Alana, I've noted that I don't agree with her mindset (or the majoritiy of porn's mindset for that matter) of acknowledging IR (interracial) as an "extreme sex" category in porn and that I find it insulting that a non-black pornstar expects a higher wage for such a scene.

Alana's friend Vicki Vixen I've noted has expressed too, that working with a black person in a porn scene is considered an "extreme" sex act. Again I find it very insulting that these women along with many others appear from my perspective to consider "blacks" as essentially sub-human beings opposed to Asians, Latins and Caucasions.

I actually have begun to wonder if such individuals, categorize IR porn in the same "extreme sex act" realms as those who participate in Bestiality. Are black people "Beasts" to the non-black general populace of porn? By acknowledging "IR" I feel that is the mentality that is being promoted. Also why would Alana refer to her own bi-racial child as "black" rather than "bi-racial", "multiracial", "human", or simply "my child". I find that disturbing to say the least.

Alana's husband has since attempted to initiate contact with me, but I find his lack of tact, subtle bullying via his communications, and aggressiveness frightening. I've learned not to open the door to such negativity - especially when it's from someone my age or my senior who's attached to adult entertainment.

As of today, September 8th a woman by the stage name of "Scarlett Fay" has made a video response to my interview with Tucker Slain stating that I'm some sort of a "ring leader". I found this strange being that I'm an independent island and am not part of any "organizations" with "agendas". However upon further watching all 3 of her broadcasts, I felt extremely hurt considering that not only has this young woman not taken the time to do her "research" on me (which she accuses me as not being capable of doing in regards to others) - but at the very end she accuses me of attempting to be "Michelle Obama or Condoleezza Rice"  (both of whom are 2 very accomplished women who have nothing to do professionally with adult entertainment - perhaps these are the only 2 Black women she could think of - I'm not sure).

To conclude, considering what I've learned from this situation it's a very good thing I'm not the judge of "Pornstar Court" , because I doubt many would like my ruling. I'm very grateful to have had the presence of mind to distance myself from the madness of the porn industry both psychologically and physically - however I will find it interesting to continue to observe how the porn and adult industry changes over the next few years considering that a major change on many levels is greatly needed.

I was still willing to give the "porn industry" a chance - even after the hell both I and my family suffered due to the attacks via the Pornwikileaks project, of which many "major players" in the porn industry were secretly a part of and supporting. However as of today, I've lost all faith in those associated with the Los Angeles porn industry and the majority of those associated with "adult entertainment" as a whole.

I find it very disappointing, that such a large group of people (with a very long history) who do what they do to feed their need for attention and validation on a certain level, are not willing to accept the good feedback with the bad. I'm not sure how many pornstars (or the porn industry in general) will ever be "legitimate" in the eyes of the "mainstream" public considering that many can not deal with hearing the truth (even when the truth is told by their own "people").

I had to learn how to accept many truths in regards to myself and my history - it was very difficult and painful, but I've grown from the experience.  Looking in the mirror can be traumatizing, yet therapeutic and healthy. I suppose www.MonicaAtHome.com has become a mirror for quite a few and I hope that in time it's something that will help many (both within and outside of the sphere of adult entertainment).

My experience has happened before on multiple occasions - fairly recently to a man named Luke Ford, but in the distant past to a man named Jesus Christ (and there were others prior to him - male and female - as well).