Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Well yesterday was interesting. I had an unexpected house guest, a good friend who travels the world who I haven't seen in a very long time, so that was fun. It's cool when you have friends that you see every once in a while, adds a bit to life. We tried to go Lion Country Safari , but they closed at 4, we didn't get there till 4:30, so that didn't happen. We still had a lot of fun talking and catching up on events that are going on in our lives.
I'll post some video later of our drive.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Well, I've decided that along with giving up smoking I'm also giving up drinking. I don't think it will be hard, because right now all I drink is wine. I'm not saying that I'm giving up drinking FOREVER, but since I want to take my look more into the fitness arena, I need to get into really good shape.
I came up with an awsome idea for a friend of mine in regards to me producing a fitness video series of him. I think this will go over very well. I am also thinking of putting together a fitness video of myself. I won't start on that though untill I have the miztress monica project off the ground.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Sometimes I think I may be too much of a nocturnal person, but then again I've always liked the night. Feels more natural to me.
I've been reading about and looking at sports bikes a lot lately. I think that next year I will get one. I've always been a bit of an adrinaline junky needing some sort of excitement or high at all times, so since I'm not partying like I used to, I might as well try being a speed demon for a while.
I'm going to wait till I move into a new place next year though because I'll need a garage.

Friday, October 26, 2007

My nephews 1st birthday was this week - wow what it must be like to be brand new in today's world. While I was shopping in Target for his gifts, I was checking out some of the new toys out for kids. Some are really cool, but in my opinion the problem with a lot of the toys out now, is that they do the playing FOR the kids - it's like the kids don't have to use their imagination to much anymore. Some of the toys that were my favorites from when I was kid, you can't even find anymore.
Anyways, my neighbor who lives above me must be depressed or going through something because she keeps playing the same fucking song OVER AND OVER again at max volume. If she does it again tomorrow, I'm going to have to talk to her about lowering the volume. Luckily her taste in music really isn't that bad - check out the video below of the song she keeps playing - it's Bleeding Love by Leona Lewis.
I really like the way the stylist put her look together and the video itself is very glam.

Well I'll be doing cam shows all weekend along with some new photo and video sets. This morning I'm going to do a set of headshots.
I wanted to try to get to the beach , but looks like it'll be rainy most of the weekend. I hate the rain - I hate humidity - I think I hate moisture in general - that's why living in the desert is so appealing to me.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Ok, well I've managed to get my newest pictorial "Mod Mirrors" edited and uploaded to my site. I also changed my intro images and made some other minor adjustments to my site. Later tonight I'm going to shoot another photo pictorial for the site and some videos.
This afternoon I'm going to do an installment of RED TBack since I didn't get a chance to last night.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Well yesterday was productive. I shot another photo pictorial for my website entitled "Mod Mirrors" - check out this photo from it.
I still need to edit some of the photos, but it should be up by the end of today.
I also need to get by home depot at some point today. I'd LIKE to go by IKEA, but that probably won't be till later in the week.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Today was a longer day than I'd thought it would be, but it was a really good day in regards to hanging out with my family. Check out this clip below - very appropriate to life in general:
lifehouse everything skit

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I missed my scheduled "Miztress Monica" show but that's cool - doing it at 2am tonight.
I've decided to re-enroll in school next year for a degree in both Photography and Business. I'm very excited. After that I'm strongly considering going into the field of law.

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Tonight I finally made it to IKEA - well before I get to that part of my day, let me write about some other stuff first.
I love my new camcorder - I will be using it with my website in conjunction with my online talk show RED TBack, my cam shows and video pictorials all weekend, so that should be fun - I actually made a "test intro" to my website - you can check it out at the end of this post - it's not great, the editing sux but overall it's cute.

I received the photos from the photoshoot I did last week- they look nice - not really my typical flashy glamour style, but they're nice - hopefully they'll get me some positive feedback and website traffic from a larger audience.
Ok - now on to IKEA. My first experience with the newly opened South Florida IKEA probably was a bit tainted by the MAD MASSES OF PEOPLE who had the same idea as me tonight - to go shopping for amazingly inexpensive cool, fun and funky furniture, knic-knacks and other stuff I probably don't really need but that really does make my apartment a "happy place".
I have a theory about IKEA - IKEA has managed through their products and store layout to allow you to have the chance to "take home the dream". Their products are specifclly designed to trick shoppers into thinking that they can fill that empty saddness that so many of us embody by purchasing the entire Malm series. I love it and I'm going to buy into it though I secretly know better.
The IKEA parking lot was totally filled to capacity, so I had to park about a mile away at the Bank Atlantic stadium (overflow IKEA lot).
Now IKEA does currently have a trolly running between the overflow Bank Atlantic stadium parking and the store, which is nice, but it was a pain in the ass because I couldn't buy the actual furniture pieces I wanted to buy tonight due to the inability to transport them myself from the store, to the trolly and then to my car .
They had some sort of a delivery discount available but screw that - I'll just wait for next week when the store isn't crazy busy, which should be Monday during the morning/afternoon.
I did buy a few cool items I felt needed. A throw rug for my bedroom, a really cool pendant lamp for my living room, some very modern looking circular mirrors which I've already made into a design on my living room wall, a bathmat for my bathroom, a can opener, a utinsil set and a spatula.
I was shocked as to the quality of some of the furniture. It looks better than I'd anticipated it looking in "person" being that I've been obsessing on the website for years now.
I am going to become an IKEA addict. Whenever I feel sad, angry, bored, alone, or psychotic I'm going to go to IKEA. I am going to replace my past smoking addiction with an IKEA addiction. My shitty apartment will soon look incredible!!!!! And at the end of my lease when I move into a larger place - preferably a townhouse, it will be IKEA'd out as well.
Welcome to Ikiaism.

Friday, October 19, 2007

Well today I was pretty busy working on my site - I haven't uploaded anything to the site yet, but I'm working on the actual content (photos, graphics, etc).
Today I received a FANTASTIC gift - a Sony harddrive camcorder! I am so excited to start using it - my camshows are going to be KILLER now and there will be MANY videos on my websites by the end of the weeked :)
I picked up a friend of mine from the airport yesterday. I love going to the airport - even just driving by it - mainly because it reminds me of how much I love to travel and the excitement of traveling.
Tomorrow I'm finally going to IKEA!!!! I wanted to get there earlier this week for their grand opening, but unfortunately I was busy. With help of IKEA my apartment will soon by TRICKED OUT!!! I purposely haven't bought much of anything (furniture wise) for my place because I felt like it would be a waste of money when you compare the prices of a regular furniture store to Ikea. I will take some video of my trip out there and post it on YouTube.
Yesterday I had a really good conversation with my mom - it's funny because ever since I was "outed" for having my Monica website, my mom and I have grown much closer. It's nice.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

While working tonight I was thinking that over the past few years I've made many unwise decisions, hung out with many dangerous, manipulative, selfish and destructive people, and have put myself in many situations that I should have been be many levels above.
Well, that's all ok, because I've learned many lessons from the experiences and am trying to be a happier, better, stronger, healthier and more productive person. Most importantly though, I've learned how to recognize and identify certain qualities in people, places and situations that aren't good or right for me, much faster than before, and then make the good decision of keeping those people, places and situations FAR away from myself and life.
I feel good about that.
Due to my bad decisions in the past, some not so great consequences have manifested. The most painful consequences that I'm dealing with have to do with my father no longer communicating with me. I understand their points of view. It hurts but I'll live with it - at least my mother talks to me.
I've gone 24 hours without a cigarette. Last time I tried to quit I was committed to it. This time I am. Last time I went about 3 weeks without smoking which was a good run but this time rather than thinking in terms of "weeks" - I'm thinking in terms of years. Tonight I pulled all the wardrobe I need for the photos and video for my site.
I think the photos are gonna look great! This week I'll be receiving video camera I've been wanting. I can't wait FINALLY to do the video projects I've been mentally outlining and visualizing for the past few months.

Monday, October 15, 2007

I had a pretty good weekend. Just stayed home and worked, and ate and drank but it was good for me. Sometimes you need to force yourself to have some alone time to work through personal feelings and issues.
Well I'm going to try AGAIN to quit smoking. Last night was my last night with that and I feel good about my fresh start with quitting today. I can do it!

Friday, October 12, 2007

Well it's been a productive week overall. Did a photoshoot, tons of cam shows, and begain formulating some new ideas for my website. This weekend however I will be very busy.

I'm very serious about taking Monica Foster more into the fetish scene. Today I bought the domain for the gateway of the launch of the "fetish side" of Monica.

Last night after I hit the chinese food buffet (one of my favorite lowcost places to get my "grub on" - that's where I am in the photo) with a friend of mine I stopped by Fetish Factory and picked up my first "official" piece of fetish wear which I'll be using for my Miztress Monica cam shows and photos for my fetish/dom miztressmonica site. I'm very excited about exploring my "darker side". Somehow the fetish world feels very comfortable to me.

I broadcasted my Friday installment of RED T-back ( earlier today because I'd anticipated going out on an actual "date" tonight. Well ONCE AGAIN I've encountered yet another man-flake. Supposedly the guy both text messaged and emailed me that he had to cancel (I didn't get these supposed texts or emails). So sure, so out of ALL the Texts and Emails I get daily his MYSTERIOUSLY didn't get through. A real man calls to cancel.

I'm glad that I didn't have to actually go out with this dude to realize have to realize the flake-factor though :) There's a bottle of wine and block of cheese with my name on it in the fridge and tons of guys for me to chat with durring my cam shows tonight - so somehow I think I'll be ok :) I'll go out with my girlfriends tomorrow.

I'm very excited about October 17th. Why? Because the Sunrise, Florida IKEA store is FINALLY OPENING!!!! I have been waiting for this day for 2 years. Now I can make my apartment my DREAM apartment!!!!!! I can't FUCKING WAIT!

Sunday, October 07, 2007

Well, it's been a good weekend and I anticipate having a great week. On Tuesday I have a shoot in Miami for a show that's on the Playboy TV cable channel so that should be pretty interesting.
I've been going back in forth mentally as to whether or not to leave South Florida at the end of my lease. I've been saying for a couple years now that I should head west, but rather than leaving what's familiar to me, I think I will embrace what's life to me right here. Actually I'm thinking about living further South in South Miami Beach.
The only reason I've been wanting to leave has been because of a few fools that I've had the misfortune to know. Well the only reason I got to know them or allowed myself to know them was because of my mindset at that time, so since I'm working on being the best person I can be, I have a feeling that I'll attract a different and more positive sect of people anyways, regardless of where I live.
Considering where I want to take myself and life professionally South East Florida is where it's at.
I'm having a lot of fun delving into the "fetish" world with Monica Foster. It's proving to be psychologically rewarding as well , as playing a "dom" (well I won't even say playing as it's proving to be natural for me) is allowing me to get out a LOT of my aggressions.
The great thing about being a cam girl is that I get to have all types of conversations with all types of people. Tonight I had a really cool conversation with someone who helped me put something I'd already realized, but hadn't admitted to myself, a bit more into the forfront of my thoughts.
That "something" is : Sometime's even though someone else may technically be to blame for our problems - you can only blame yourself for allowing the problem to continue. And the sometimes, that "problem" really isn't a problem after all.

Saturday, October 06, 2007

I spent today looking at some supposedly authentic alien interrogation/interview footage on YouTube. Interesting. If anyone reading this wants the link just shoot me a message/email.
Whether it's real or not isn't the issue - the real issue with anything pertaining as to whether or not the govt. is covering up "alien contact" or "paranormal phenomenon" or anything else conspiracy related all stems down to people's perception of the govt. having to much control over the people.
I used to feel as if I didn't have enough "freedom" or "free stuff" but lately, I've been thinking the opposite.
Yea, maybe energy should be free, but hell, it's still pretty cheap with the exception of gasoline. Also for god's sake - look at the gift of the internet. I don't HAVE to pay for a anymore with VOIP - and even if I do pay for VOIP it's just PENNY's it didn't use to be like this.
The internet is like a giant free bookstore/library - people just don't know how to use it right and overall don't use it enough. I do though :)

Friday, October 05, 2007

"Everything right now and right away" - when it comes to things and people I want in my life, that's how I think. Unfortunately it doesn't always work out that way which usually doesn't leave me too happy.
I need to stick with my original plan of staying single for the duration of this year. At this point it's impossible for any ONE guy to totally satisfy me, and the last few men who have entered my life couldn't cut it in the most important and intimate departments at all. Sad.
I need to the beach more for my work outs. I love being in nature. Spent this afternoon watching old baywatch reruns - the show inspired me :) I can relate to the character CJ very well.

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Well, it's not quite Friday yet, but I can say it's been a pretty productive week - however this week has left me with some questions about my personal life.
I've recently reconnected with someone I always had a thing for, but I'm not sure if he has enough time in his life for the connection to develop. I guess I'll have to develop some patience and simply wait and see.
I have no idea what happened to my 2 female friends I've been hanging with. One's cell phone is turned off and the other doesn't answer hers. Hmmmm, either I've been given the shaft OR I've entered the twilight zone. Maybe both :)
This week I'll be doing my "Anti-Cam girl" show on every day. I want a bit more exposure for my website. I'm definitely going to start doing the show 3 times a week at least starting next week.
Other than that, gotta work on some new photo pictorials for my monica site and I need to redo my website to show off my newest work in regards to photos I've taken of other models.
I can't wait till I have the money to open my photo studio. Oneday - someday - hopefully soon.

Monday, October 01, 2007

Well this weekend was BUSY, but unfortunately I didn't get around to doing any cam shows, so this week I'll be online every day playing a little bit of "catch up".
I saw my beautiful nephew this weekend, it's amazing as to how quickly children grow. I kind of think just the presence of children in your life somehow causes time and life to go into a state of "fast-forward".
It's so true when they say "you can never go home again" - in regards to when you move out. I'm very happy to have been living on my own all these years, but sometimes I miss the days of living with my mom. You don't realize how comfortable family life is untill it's past.
Options....right now my life is presenting me with MANY options and it's exciting. However it's also scary because I don't want to make any more bad decisions in my life. Well I guess you can't totally avoid bad decisions, but I want to make well thought out decisions, yet I also want to continue to pay attention of my "intuition".
I want to buy a new carpet for my living room today and possibly re-arrange my bedroom. Little by little I'm making my apartment a "home". I love having my own place again. I know eventually I'll find someone to have a real and healthy relationship again, which usually leads to living with that person, but I can't even imagine living with someone again as I really cherish my privacy and personal space.
It's so weird being 28. I'm officially beyond the current "MTV" age range, but I'm not old enough for the "Sex in the City" crowd. Makes me feel kind of odd as to how I should dress, act, be etc. Don't get me wrong, I don't define myself by the media's standards, but it's hard to figure out where you are in your life and where you should be at my age. I'll probably be more comfortable in my 30's. late 20's are undefinable as a single 28 year old woman.
Actually maybe that's the key"single at 28". I don't HAVE to be single right now, I'm fortunate enough never to be without a guy to date if that's what I want, but life has put me on a path to where I've somehow made it through a few long term relationships without having become a mom along the way.
In some ways it's great, in other ways it isolates you from your peers. Most women I know around me age are either in a long term relationship, married or a single mom.