Well for those of you who keep up with the happenings in "Monica Foster Land", you know I've been in the news a bit lately. A part of me feels like "oh shit, should have made a different life choice once again", but another part of me knows that I did the right thing in speaking up, because though I personally am not looking any longer for anything of which I initially felt was owed to me a few days ago, I definitely saved countless women from falling prey to a true predator.
I may wind up with legal issues due to the tactics of which I took to ensure that Dykstra's days of conning escorts are over (or at least more widely known), but I feel that on a universal and spiritual level I quite possibly evened out a karmic embalance for myself and many other women who have taken a path similar to my own.
Since dealing with my current situation, I've found that many people within the adult entertainment circuit will become quite angry if your actions don't fall in line with their agendas. I've been asked to post the bounced check in regards to my current situation online on a certain adult industry forum. Initially I would have if I had a copy in my possession (I have to wait to receive a copy from my bank at this stage - the particular bank I have an account with doesn't provide you with an online scan when you cash it directly with a teller), but after rethinking the situation...absolutely not. I will only be posting my proof on my own venues or via a mainstream news source.
Interestingly since the individuals who moderate that particular forum haven't gotten their way, their true colors have shone through. The mainstream media has labeled me as a "hooker" yes - it's a harsh term but I can deal with it. In contrast however, a few within the porn arena have decided to let their true confederate flag flying nature show (of which I've written about in the past on my blog http://gettingintoporn.blogspot.com) and have called me a "nigger", "black bitch", etc - oh and of course posting various photos of monkeys and labeling them as "Monica Foster" as well (as I've said in the past, if you're a black considering entering porn - please wait till I open my own ethnic content studio before coming out to LA - too many KKK rejects are running loose in porn valley as of current, and much of the ethnic populace here is too intimidated to speak up about it).
People who I thought had similar views to myself (and simple common sense) have turned on me. It's very telling, and disappointing - especially being that it's been revealed to me who really owns and runs the adult industry's most controversial online discussion forum ( yep the one that gives porn stars real names and addresses if they don't follow the owners' agenda of creating a "new world order" in porn).
If this particular forum continues to attack me (as silly and childish as the attacks are) I will provide the name of who really runs it (and it really is not who most people think it is...you'll be as shocked as I was to find out - though in many ways it makes perfect sense)- But then again I may not have to, the 2 individuals who informed me have much more reason to out the names than I do.
One thing I've learned over the past year, is that in our society, women like me are consistently silenced and labeled as "dumb", "a loudmouth", "too outspoken", a "man-hater", "a slut", etc. I suppose on some level all of those labels fit, but guess what? I'm just the first major wave of such a woman. I will not back down, I'm not afraid of pain, I will not be silenced, I will continue to live independently, I will continue to set my own price/worth, I will continue to enjoy sex with hot men (of my choosing) and I will not ever give up on my dreams, ambitions or goals.
The most shocking part of having worked in porn and the world of adult entertainment was to learn that it's many of the individuals (specifically certain men) who work behind the scenes who are most threatened by women such as myself. I think mainstream America in actuality is much more prepared and ready to embrace the "type of woman" that I am (because the numbers of women like me are rapidly growing) , then the adult industry, which is who has the real problem with women like me.
The false image the porn industry creates (which in reality is nothing more than a controlled "doll"), which they own and portray as being a "free sexual spirit and self possessed" has been outed as a sham at this stage. Really take a good look at the lives of MANY of the "adult star's" images you see splashed all over adult trade mediums and pranced around at conventions...really LOOK - the facade of success, wealth & security these adult actresses display quite often is totally false and is manufactured by their "keepers" behind the scenes . Porn videos are not the true money maker of the "porn industry" - it's the activity that I'm currently being condemned for that's the true cash cow for many in adult entertainment.
It's the uncontrollable independent women of which the porn industry truly fears and encourages America to fear, because without that fear, the adult entertainment industry wouldn't still be trucking along (though it's currently rolling down the road with at least 2 flat tires).
Actually the adult entertainment industry would make far more in the future and have less of a stigma attached to its female talents using the image of a woman who embodies qualities similar to my own, but it would take a population of women behind the scenes for that to happen. Unforunately these beta males currently running the show aren't going to disappear until they are forced too (or just die off). Why, because they're like drug addicts, and their "drug of choice" is the small population of adult industry actors and actresses of which they currently hold under their thumb (I'll explain more in my next blog).
So all in all though my holiday was tainted by me taking an unforeseen side trip down a path I hadn't imagined I'd ever experience, other elements of my holiday worked out well. I visited with my wonderful mother, sister and nephew. In a couple of months I will make an effort to visit with my father too (we connected via phone this holiday and I shared with him lots of photos and video i took with my phone).
I decided to repaint and decorate my nephews room while visiting. It was hard work but worth it (plus drinking wine while painting is always fun). It's amazing that regardless of what life throws at you, when you reconnect with where you originate from - nothing else seams nearly as important as you may have initially thought it was.
So to conclude, I feel the rest of this year and 2011 will be great! I've learned more in the past 2 years than many learn in a lifetime. Ive sesen so much and done so much...and I'm just getting started....
Don't miss the live broadcast of www.monicaathome.com on December 27th at 10pm pst :)