08-23-2010 Broadcast (part 1) of Monica @ Home (www.MonicaAtHome.com)



Watch the rest of this broadcast and the show's archives on www.youtube.com/MonicaAtHome !

New blogs beginning September 01, 2010

Today I am bopping around my apartment to a Pandora station I created based on the song "Hey Soul Sister" by Train while I clean and getting everything in order for the week. I had a pretty good weekend from Friday to Sunday which brought me a nice and productive state of mind to begin the week within.

Friday I took a walk around Hollywood - though I anticipate my departure from this city shortly, I'm still taking the time to enjoy my surroundings. My move here from Fort Lauderdale, Florida was one of the most difficult undertakings of my life, however I don't want to look back on this time of my life and only associate it with negative feelings and events (because there were many good times too) - so I'm making the effort to create some positive associations as well to balance the scale - hell maybe to tip the scale more towards the light rather than the dark.

On Friday's walk, I spotted an interesting individual - he was definitely bold and darking with his choice of clothing and I thought it was fabulous (not too many men can pull off lime green leggings, with a hot pink hooded tunic and black cowboy boots) - so I pretended to be a stealth paparazzi photographer and followed him for a few blocks from a distance and took some photos of him with my iphone camera.

Saturday I took some time to listen to Eminem's new album - I'm very impressed with 2 of his new songs "Love the way you lie" and "Not Afraid". The first song brought me to a few self actualizations - the latter inspired me to DEFINITELY continue with my current project www.MonicaAtHome.com

Sunday I stopped by the Hollywood and Highland mall to run a few errands. One of my favorite stores there is Express - I stopped in and the store brought back so many fun memories. Back in south florida when I was around 18 I worked at an Express in Pompano Beach mall - those were some good times. Later that afternoon I enjoyed a very relaxing and laid back afternoon filled with Mimosa's at one of my favorite local brunch spots with a good friend of mine who I met a few months after I relocated here. He wasn't feeling well (he'd gone out and partied the night before) but he still made the effort to get out the house and hang out with me. He's one of the few males that I've met in Los Angeles who respects my unusual way of living and is fine with simply being my friend - it's a wonderful blessing to have a friend like him.

So that was my weekend - I anticipate this being a pretty good week. I'll be doing my private webcam shows of course along with Monica @ Home in the evenings today, Wednesday and Friday. At some point this week I need to edit and post on www.youtube.com/MonicaAtHome my interview with Angelique DeLeone (of CreoleFetishGoddess.com) from last Friday.

Wednesday I'm planning on having some people over for dinner - I'll probably cook a lasagna yet again - but maybe I'll make something else special to go along with it - who knows...

Though I'm feeling relatively settled and relaxed as of current, I feel a little odd - not really anxious, but as if I am anticipating or expecting something...it's hard to explain. I'm far from psychic but I'm definitely intuitive so whatever is coming - I hope it's good - I don't have a negative overlay associated with how I'm feeling, so it probably will be good (and hopefully interesting). Regardless generally change and new additions to our experience here on this planet IS good :)

So, for those of you who watch my online show www.MonicaAtHome.com - you know that I've been doing a lot of coverage as of late on the Montana Fishburne sextape. I felt the need to write a blog tonight as to exactly why I've been all over this particular news item, and why I feel others need to be aware of exactly what is going on with Montana.

I've worked in the adult entertainment industry now in total for around 8 years. I began as an exotic dancer back around 2002, transitioned into webcamming, then into the porn industry about 2 and a half years ago, and now I'm back to primarily being a webcam girl.

I'm currently working on cleaning up my life a bit, furthering my career endeavors and in general - creating a life for myself I can truly be proud of. As of current, I'm only comfortable performing in front of the camera sexually solo. Honestly, unless I enter a committed relationship with someone, who is comfortable with being sexual on camera with me (yes, I'm talking the Sunny Leone route), I doubt I'll ever shoot a boy/girl scene again.

Don't get me wrong, I think the adult entertainment industry is a valid industry and I've enjoyed working within it - however it could be better. There are many good people who are true professionals who work within porn who I've met, and I am fairly positive I will work in the adult entertainment world (most likely in a behind the scenes capacity) for the rest of my life. I have a tremendous passion and interest when it comes to adult entertainment - however I feel some major changes HAVE TO be made in regards to protecting the health and the safety of the performers. I also feel that those entering the industry need to be far more educated and aware as to exactly how the porn industry really works and what to expect once in - along with what to expect from society outside of the porn industry.

For example - young women entering porn need be told to do the following:

1) Research thoroughly all aspects of the sect of the adult entertainment industry you are entering
2) Really think through your choice as to why you want to enter adult entertainment 3) Really consider who's life you may change who is close to you by your making the decision to work within the adult entertainment industry.

Upon my entering the world of adult entertainment, I addressed the first 2 of the above points, however I didn't address the 3rd - which is why the Montana Fishburne news item has affected me so greatly.

By my entering the porn industry - I shamed my family. Yes, they still love me - however our relationship is forever changed. I may never regain their full trust and respect again. That simple fact has killed a part of and has forever changed the woman who created "Monica Foster".

Someone in the chat room tonight during the broadcast of www.MonicaAtHome.com asked me if I have any regrets - the answer is yes. If I had known back in March of 2008 how greatly my choice to enter the porn industry would effect my family, I never would have done it. The price I've paid for many of the exciting, fun and life changing experiences that being "Monica Foster" has granted me, has been the distance that has developed between myself and my family. The financial gain (which wasn't that much in the long run) and life experiences weren't worth AT ALL the change that I've experienced in my relationship with my loved ones.

Some have asked me if exotic dancing and/or webcamming can have the same impact on a person's life as being a "pornstar". Well I suppose it's all perspective - however in my eyes exotic dancing is fairly mild (if you can stay away from drugs and alcohol) - though it's "in person performance" it's not recorded on video for the world to see.

Webcamming is generally (at least in my case) solo - also it's generally something you can do from the comfort and safety of your own home. You can even "block" certain regions from viewing you which can substantially lower the chances of people you know ever finding out you're a performer".

The porn industry (or should I say system) is a bit different though. There are circuits of people within the porn industry and circling around the perimeter of the porn industry who are VERY dangerous and VERY predatory (many people in and around porn are CONSISTENTLY trying to pressure you into illegal escorting the moment you shoot your first adult scene). I suppose you could say the same for the exotic dancer world - but from my experience - it's simply not the same.

I entered the porn circuit at 29 - and from working in the exotic dancing circuit I was already pretty aware, "street smart", and savvy in regards to knowing how to avoid certain types of dangerous situations. However this young woman Monatana is not - she's 19 years old and considering that she's from a fairly sheltered background - and considering that, plus the fact that she is the daughter of someone who has quite a lot of money - she is in literal danger as of current in my view.

The current individuals in the porn industry surrounding Montana should have initially done the right thing the moment they realized who's daughter she was, by telling her to "go home" and/or by contacting the Laurence Fishburne camp to notify him as to what his daughter was getting herself into. However no one had a conscience and did so - they simply saw dollar signs.

In my eyes (though Montana IS of age and is technically an adult), I feel that she is essentially being held hostage via the psychological manipulation of her "management" aka pimp. The people around her have failed to educate her to the true facts of the adult entertainment industry, and she is very naive as to how the business end of the industry truly works - which is evident in this interview with Montana that AVN just published (I hope TO GOD that when she launches her website, everything is AT LEAST in HER NAME so that she owns it).

As of current it has been exposed to THE WORLD via a young woman who was close to Montana Fishburne named "NeNe" (you can watch the video interview here), that the young man Montana is "dating" has encouraged her to work as a prostitute.

I created www.GettingIntoPorn.com back in July of 2009 to try to reach young women (girls) like 19 year old Montana Fishburne - however I think I need to possibly do more (and so do other current and ex adult entertainers who feel as I do).

I strongly feel at this point that for the adult entertainment industry to survive and be seen in the future as a valid and legitimate industry, the health and safety of the talent will have to be taken much more into account, the compensation the talent receives will need to be standardized, and lastly the age limit for performers will need to be raised to 21 years old.

I'm nervous at this stage in the Montana Fishburne sextape "scandal" that other young women from middle class backgrounds will think that it's "cool" and "trendy" and "rebellous" to get into porn (much like how Montana thought the emulating Kim Kardashian was a good idea). These young women will not be aware as to how treacherous the porn entertainment industry truly is, which MAY just be what many in the porn industry want - to recruit fresh young naive meat.

In the future, when I launch my adult production label/studio (I feel I literally HAVE TO at this point in order to be at least one "safe island" for those entering the dangerous sea which is the porn industry), I will implement within my own workplace the ideals of which I have for the porn industry as a whole. I suppose I won't be as successful financially as other studios but I feel like the whole reason my life has taken the path of which is has, was so that I could witness some wrongs and at least attempt to take a stand to set an example to others as what is RIGHT.

I wish Montana Fishburne the best (I hope she gathers enough common sense relatively soon to realize that if she IS to continue in the adult world, she needs to develop a solid plan for herself INDEPENDENTLY and that she needs to stop hanging around trash and pimps.) and I hope the her father Laurence Fishburne can reach her, and help her - he needs to.

I suppose I'm very very very fortunate to have the father and mother that I do because though I disappointed them - they helped me when I really needed it recently and they encouraged me to do better for myself - thanks Mom & Dad.

Another broadcast of Monica At Home on www.MonicaAtHome.com

On this broadcast I primarily discuss a recent rumor pertaining to Bethany Benz (Caviar from "For the Love of Ray J ) and why it's important for African American women to support each other within the adult entertainment industry.

The past few weeks I have struggled - not just with external and material matters, but with internal as well - I can honestly define this time period over the past few weeks as some of my "darkest hours".

But guess what - darkness doesn't last forever...

The August sun has begun to rise - and with it - I rise - like a fiery phoenix from the ashes.



I have had more support, words or encouragement and words of wisdom from the most unlikeliest of sources over the past few days and I am BEYOND grateful - and humbled.

I work very hard - I know that some (from a certain school of WEAK, PAST DATED and PROGRAMMED thought) may feel that my projects, dreams and endeavors are by lack of better terms "frivolous" and "pointless" - but apparently to many of you out there (and to ME) - they are making a DIFFERENCE and ARE NOT, and frankly that's all that matters...

I stand together with my Amazon sisters and my brothers of whom respect strong independent and self assured individuals and I say:

"I will not go quietly into the night!

I will not vanish without a fight!

I am going to live on!

I am going to survive!"

And to all you little midget bitch boys hiding behind your broken down women who have something to say to me in regards to www.MonicaAtHome.com - SAY IT TO MY FACE if you dare, because I am not alone, afraid or intimidated by you...in the future I WILL OWN YOU and I will liberate all of whom you have suppressed. Your time has past, party's over - so go back to the sewers from which you came.

Another new installment of Monica @ Home
(www.MonicaAtHome.com)

Just a note to say a big "THANK YOU" to you all who sent words of encouragement in response to my most recent blog in regards to my move from Los Angeles.

I definitely haven't lost hope, faith or drive when it comes to my future goals, dreams and endeavors - however I suppose at times you simply have to re-work the road map of the path you've drawn out for yourself in order to reach what you are after.