Thursday, April 05, 2012

Today I've had a relatively good day. As of late I've been feeling happier and much more centered than I ever have in my life - I've been having much more fun as well.

I've battled and triumphed over many demons, both internal and external (as you my readers, fans and friends are aware of) - and I've learned how to reflect in a far more healthier way than I ever would have imagined. I've come to learn that personal reflection is a vital skill one should strive to develop in order to continue on a path of healthy evolution.

While skimming through some adult industry (porn related) news items to update my news blog this afternoon - I came across 2 items which prompted me to share a very personal instance of my life with my twitter followers on @MonicaFoster :

I feel good today, so I'm going to share something personal with all of you to clue you into exactly what type of person I am.

Several years ago when I was a bartender and stripper in Florida, I met a man I started dating and wound up living with for a while. This man had a son, who I bonded with and treated as my own. Unfortunately as time went on, I came to realize the man I lived with had a major drinking, drug and gambling problem. He lost his job and I wound up having to cover all the bills.

I'd have ditched this man earlier but I had grown to love his son like my own child. Finally when I couldn't take it anymore and was about to leave I realized I was pregnant.

I made the mistake of telling the guy I was living with. I told him I'd keep the kid, but that I couldn't live with him due to his lack of motivation and addiction. He flipped out and hit me. I hit him back. Cops were called, and though I paid all the bills and rent for the house we shared, I left and stayed with my mother.

I filed a restraining order on the loser I was dating, and before going to court to extend the order weeks later I had an abortion. Yes I KILLED something living. Why? Because it was a part of me I was willing to let go of from the past, and a part of him he was hoping to retain for the future to maintain a link to someone that was BETTER than him.
Looking back, I have no regret having KILLED a piece of that man. I'd do it again if I had too. The lesson here is: as a person in this world, you have to realize that the weak will do anything to have a link to the strong. It's a survival thing. However the majority of the weak shouldn't continue to exist to begin with. Weak creatures bring the world down and prevent progress.

If you are strong and identify some weak loser trying to attach themselves to you, KILL the connection. Do no hesitate and do not think about it, just do it.

So to conclude my personal story, after I aborted the loser I was living with's seed, I went to court, faced him and extended the restraining order. Upon exiting the court room the loser I dated said to the judge "Oh, my ex is pregnant with my kid, what about that?".

Before the judge could answer I responded "Nope, not anymore. I killed your kid".

I walked out the courtroom, my Dad picked me up out front, and took me to lunch. It turned out to be a good day.

I suppose when my stalkers say I'm a kid killer, it's true. Now you know the type of person I am, and some of what I'm capable of.

The 2 news items which prompted me to share this experience from my life, can be found on this link (an article about a new pornstar named Casey Cums who desperately needs some psychological therapy and who unfortunately is hurting the efforts of women such as myself who are trying to bring awareness to why change must take place in the Los Angeles porn industry) and on this link (an article about a man named Hunter Moore who is financially benefiting from stalking, harassing, defaming, terrorizing and emotionally hurting women - a weak waste of a human who should not exist).