Though California has a tremendous amount of opportunity for anyone with a drive and a will to work hard, I'm looking forward to when I've "made my fortune" and can leave this state. Where I'll go next, I'm not sure, but most likely I will either return to the east coast or simply relocate to another country. Primarily because I'm just not one for the "land of make believe" mentality on a long term basis.
I have learned since living here I'm much more based in "reality" than I initially thought - mainly because I have an aversion to shrinking away situations that are hard, where as many people who have lived here on a long term basis seem to deem that mentality as acceptable.
Though Cali is progressive in many ways, in other ways it's not. Though we are in the year 2009, have a technically "black" president, and are well beyond the sexual revolution - I find backwards and/or hypocritical mindsets around every corner and under every stone here in Hollywood, CA - ironically especially in the MAINSTREAM entertainment industry. It is sad, the situation angers me, and overall I'm disgusted.
The adult entertainment world still needs a lot of progression, but I see the progression and needed changes being easily rectified whereas in mainstream I do not. I strongly prefer being identified as an "adult entertainer" over a "mainstream actress" and probably always will.
On a happier note, I'll be co-hosting RUDETV.com's show "ColorBlind" again on Friday and will be co-hosting and signing at an industry event at a club called CineSpace on Saturday.
I hope and pray the coming of March brings me better luck and work opportunities my way than I had in fucked up Feb.