Today I feel about 80% back to normal from the flu. It's so good to be able to get back into my groove of working again.

Part of what actually kept my spirits up while I was ill, was my newfound interest in "Blaxsploitation" films. Coffy is my new hero (sorry Batman and Spiderman, you have to take 2nd and 3rd place now). If you're unfamiliar with what Blaxspoitation films are, check out the video below:



Pam Grier's work will be influencing my newest project "Mighty Afrodite" a bit.

So I'll be heavily on webcam this week for all of you out there who enjoying stopping by virtually and saying hello :)

I just found out that this Saturday I will be interviewed for a documentary on the adult industry, so I'm very excited about that. Then next Tuesday I'll be on a friend of mine's radio show - I'll post more details about that later.

Well back to work - I've got the techno tracks blasting and I feel locked into the matrix (aka my apartment), so see ya'll online!!!!!!!!!

Slowly but surely I'm getting over this nightmare of a flu I came down with over the past few days. I'm so grateful to be feeling halfway normal again. I'm also grateful that I was able to take care of myself in this situation.

As I wrote in my previous blog, this flu really made me realize that I need to take steps in only surrounding myself with people I can count on when the going gets tough.

When you live alone, falling ill can be VERY scary. Wednesday morning I woke up and knew that I was catching a cold - little did I know that it was going to go WAY beyond "common cold" into the full blown flu.

I know some of you reading this may say "oh boo hoo - little miss overly dramatic got the flu" - well in my case getting a cold, or even the flu is actually a very big deal because I'm mildly asthmatic.

Luckily I'm not severely asthmatic - mainly thanks to my mother who does not believe in traditional medical thought or practices (I actually hate even defining myself as "asthmatic" because just about every person I've ever known who's had asthma has been a whiney overly coddled little prick - I think my mother - who's mildly asthmatic as well felt the same).

Growing up, rather than telling me that I COULDN'T over exert myself my mother felt that if I didn't develop my lungs as much as possible through sports and other activities that required a lot of cardio type activity, that I'd be reliant on inhalers and such my entire life. I think that she was right considering that I rarely have had asthma attacks after the age of about 8 AND that I went on to hold the district record for the mile run for about 2 years in Broward County when I was a sophomore in highschool (I have a lot of endurance and yes I am bragging).

Asthma has never effected anything I've ever wanted to do in life which is great. I only realize that it's there when I catch a cold or a dreaded flu. Even being only mildly asthmatic when I get the flu, I can have severe breathing issues. It's rare for me to have too many problems, but if I don't watch it, my airways can become constricted enough for me have an asthma attack, which is not fun (of course it probably doesn't help that I'm a light smoker, but hey, no one's perfect. I have a certain degree of stress, but I am working on quitting. Actually after these past couple of hellish days, I can confidently state that I will never smoke again.)

The first day I was ill, I had a shit load of chest congestion and I felt a fever coming on, so I went into self preservation mode - I got to the store to pick up my "cold and flu kit" supplies (see my previous blog if you're curious as to what my kit consists of) before I knew things would get too bad. I got home, set up a big pot on the stove of water, and brought it to a boil to get some steam started.

As the day went on, I got worse and worse and at one point considered going to the emergency room, but didn't (it would have been pointless considering the wait I'd have to deal with - plus I knew no doctor could offer a "quick fix" - I just needed to ride it out). I knew from the past my best bet was to do steam inhalation treatments for about 30 mins at a time every 2 hours most of the day - so I did.

When I wasn't at the stove with a towel tented over my head inhaling steam, I was either drinking a ton of water & cranberry juice, with shots of cider vinegar (Sounds odd I'm sure but this flushes out your system of whatever is making you sick.) OR sitting in a tub of hot water with a little Vicks disolved in to help sweat out the germs (and get some more steam into my pipes to losen up the congestion).

Between doing all that and finding the energy to cook up some chicken soup with onion and garlic to eat, I was pretty spent. I couldn't really sleep, because I was having such a hard time breathing so I turned on Coast to Coast AM and the Phil Hendrie show and worked on my computer between doing everything I needed to do to get well.

This flu took me on a journey of chills - then hot sweats - then chills again from my fever, coughing fits and dizziness.

At one point I broke down and cried. Yep. Then I prayed. Mainly because I was so damn tired but I couldn't sleep because I couldn't breathe properly. I very felt alone and scared. I rarely feel really "scared" but these past couple of days I sure as hell did. Thank God for my little dog Panda - she helped me keep it together.

Finally after close to 18 hours of not being able to lay down due to not being able to fucking breath without either sitting in the tub or having my face over a pot of steaming water, the congestion subsided a bit and I was able to sleep sitting up for a few hours.

From Thursday to yesterday afternoon I felt just as bad, but I kept up with the same routine and drank a TON of liquids and ate nothing but soup, garlic and onions. After a nap yesterday (Friday) I woke up and felt a little better. I decided that was the time to de-germify my apartment.

I washed my linens, did my dishes, cleaned my bathroom, took out all my snot rags, and washed my towels. After doing that and doing another steam, sweat out, fluid flush and then feeding round I needed another nap. When I woke up I touched base over the phone with a good friend back in Florida. Then I worked on my computer a bit more and around 3am today I finally felt a million times better. Good enough to do some webcam shows.

The photos posted are from this mornings shows. I'm not 100% yet but at least I'm not dead.

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Well from what I've heard (and of course I've checked weather.com on this) it will be rainy most of the coming week. Yes, for many Californians this totally throws them off but not me! I'm from south east Florida where a category 3 hurricane doesn't stop you from going clubbing so I welcome the rain here in dry ass, but beautiful southern Califronia.

Last night was a fun night of webcamming, as will be tonight and the remainder of my weekend, however my boyfriend got me out of the house today to Venice beach which was a ton of fun. I picked up (rather my bf bought me) one of those cute floppy sweater caps (I'll post a photo), which I plan on wearing well into the spring, and of course if I make it up in to the mountains to see the snow this season. It's amazing how something as simple as the right hat, can add to your life :)

As many of you, my readers, fans and friends know, Monica Foster has pretty much wrapped up her career as a porn talent, but will continue as a webcam girl, online "personality" and hopefully adult content producer/director. The woman who created "Monica Foster" I feel (even though I'm tooting my own horn a bit but justifiably so) has a pretty bright future. However, I can't stop to think as to where other porn talents will wind up considering this industry "slow down" which has almost turned into a "stand still".

I had a conversation about this with someone recently, and I suppose as a porn talent, though you options may be limited in some individuals views, if you're a forward thinker you options are "limitless".

As I've said in the past the most important thing is to do as an entertainer of any sort is to have your web presence going on. The web really is the gateway to the world, and even though the US is in economic crisis, other countries are not, and with the web, you can reach markets in other countries all from the comfort of your own home. I suppose what separates a "limited" mindset from a "limitless" mindset is simply a person's drive and motivation.

www.MightyAfrodite.com is very close to launching. Ms. Afrodite will be bringing up a lot of subject matter that I wanted to touch on as Monica Foster, but couldn't. Why? Well you'll have to check out the site to find out.

One thing in particular I will be touching on will be what it REALLY is to be a woman in the porn industry: the mindsets and motivations behind what propels someone to take the leap, along with the motivations of those behind the scenes who push those who become the true "porn stars".

One of the primarily reasons I love the porn industry, is the psychology which is behind it. The psychology of the performers, those who work behind the scenes AND the viewers.

I've noticed the MAIN problem with porn, and why it's "dying" is due to the "porn powers that be" not allowing the public to really get to know the performers. I'll tell you right now why that is right now: FEAR. Think of the "porn powers that be" as being the most ANGRY and BITTER people at your highschool reunion. Yes - I said it.

Most performers are kept in a "dream state" , whether it be by those around them blowing smoke up their ass or pushing powder up their noses. VERY FEW porn performers do what they do for reasons that they won't regret. I'm bold enough to state that I am one of the few. www.MightyAfrodite.com will explain why.

I'm under the impression that those that feed off the talent in the entertainment industry as a whole have the goal of keeping their talents/clinets from ever realizing how successful they truly are. Most performers have no clue as to how much power they actually possess or how "famous" they really are until they sober up, look around and find they own nothing from their efforts. It's sad.

I thought I knew a lot as an exotic dancer, I thought I knew even more as a webcam girl and then I thought I knew it all as a "pornstar". Since making the choice to stop performing as a porn actress I've learned so much more that I'm surprised my concept of reality hasn't shattered. Funny thing is that I've realized that the vast amount of info I've stumbled upon in reality is just a very narrow glimpse as to the true "big picture".

Anyways, I have enough insight and material to keep me rambling on about the realities of porn, sexuality, relationships, and life for ages. Buckle up bitches because 2010 is gonna be a wild, fun and eye opening ride.

It's been a while since I've blogged, which is a bit unlike me (well at least unlike "2009 me"). I've been taking some time to really settle into 2010, which so far has kicked off to be a very happy, positive and productive year. Here's an update as to what's been happening in my world as of late:

*I had a fantastic New Years eve and New Years day. Then I had a GREAT birthday on the 7th. 31 feels pretty good.

*I've been making a point to get out to exercise at least 3 times a week - mainly hiking. This week I'm going to try a different trail west of LA.

*The past couple of days I've had a few overnight house guests (long time friends of mine), which has been an interesting change of my daily flow.

*Between working online, developing my new projects and the surge of activity that I've experienced since the first,I've been really enjoying life's fast pace.

*I need to change the front photos of my website due to the holidays being over. Hopefully I'll get that accomplished by the end of this week, we'll see.

Life feels pretty mellow right now and surprisingly stable - it's a nice state of being to finally have reached.

I'll be on webcam most of the week, so see you online!

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