Writing a true script - especially a comedy with rather dark humor (my sense of humor could probably be equated to that of Larry David and Paul Mooney)- is weird and can actually be a bit uncomfortable. Primarily because (at least in my case) when you write characters, you tend to find yourself slipping into that character's mindset which can leave you feeling a bit unnerved as you allow your own mind to explore how a fictitious character's thought patterns may be.
I'm taking some of these characters I'm writing for this project pretty far when it comes to their dysfunctionality both in their everyday public personas and private personas so I'll probably need to go into seclusion for a while to reset once this production is over.
I'll be surprised if I don't wind up going completely schizophrenic before the end of this venture actually.
I'm actually very excited about shooting this project even though it will be a lot of work and will probably be frustrating for me being that I don't like working with other people very much, because it will be the first video project that I'll get to be primarily "in charge of". I suppose I'm not officially "in charge", but considering that I'm the person on the team who is the most organized and ADD, the role of producer basically falls in my lap by default (hey as long as I can perceive it this way at least, the situation is tolerable for me - luckily the people I'll be working with on this realize this).
After this projects first few installments are shot, I plan on shooting the first scenes of the adult parody that I want to complete by July of this year which will be based on one of my favorite works "Queen of the Damned".
Though I'm moving away from performing as an adult entertainer, I'm definitely someone who was destined to write adult material. It's odd too, because I really don't have sex too often anymore (and that needs to change).
A friend of mine brought over a bottle of Jack Daniels the other night - and I have to say it's been a very helpful tool. I hate to admit it but my best work pours out of me when I drink - I suppose because I allow myself to lower invisible barriers I've built up within my own psyche. I'm finally becoming comfortable enough with who I really am to lower those barrier without a stimulant, but it's still difficult at times.
I've just recently come to realize and have finally begun to accept that I have a certain "psychological twist" when it comes to what I find sexy, so I'm going to have to work that out a bit - I find that the band Muse really helps with that for some odd reason.
Well, back to work - I just wanted to take some time to update this blog. At this stage I really wish I could clone myself - if I could I'd get so much more done so much quicker. Being impatient has always been my fault.
