I was asked in the documentary whether or not I was ever in a relationship while I was actively shooting porn. Those of you who follow my blog know that I was...however upon recapping the situation in the documentary interview - I realized that the relationship wasn't only "one sided" - it was most likely a pre-meditated act (on my "boyfriend's" part and a "plan" to keep me active within the Los Angeles porn circuit.
Hindsight is 20/20 and upon looking back I can see that he was a blend between being a facilitator, enabler and pimp.
The one thing this man told me upon leaving me, was that he wanted to enter a relationship with a woman outside of the porn industry. Currently he is with another pornstar (lol).
I haven't wanted to ever relate this experience or my thoughts on this situation - primarily due to my feeling like a fool for having fallen for the act....
I've felt ashamed.
It's time now though - to put it out there - I wasn't my "boyfriend's" first victim - in fact the girl he worked on prior to myself is one of the top pornstars of today...
My account of this situation will outline EXACTLY how one tactic of the Los Angeles porn industry's recruitment system operates (and this particular system is universal across MANY industries). I hope my pain and heartbreak saves some other women from the same treatment and result of which I've suffered. In addition, I feel the world is deserving of knowing exactly how a pornstar like Jenna Haze comes about and is unwittingly developed - via the channel of the tragedy of the man she loved refusing to marry her - yet who continued to use and manipulate her for years to come all in the name of personal gain.
The truth is out there - but only the brave tell it (which is why the truth is rare to come across).
more to come as I collect my thoughts on this matter...
TRAUMA BONDING IS A BITCH ASS PUNK WHO'S ASS IT'S TIME
TO KICK OFF THE CURB.
for more definition and understanding - look at my entry for this date on www.Alexandralism.org