Complete "work mode" - that is the mode I've finally settled in for the remainder of this year, and probably next year too.
There are so many goals I have, and so many things I want - and I've recently come to realize, that as of current, I may have to put a few of my current endeavors and dreams on hold in order to get closer to my long term ambitions a bit faster.
A lesson I'm glad to have learned last year, and actually a little into this year, was the lesson of not giving up my resources, emotion and/or time to people who don't give back and who don't deserve me being in their life.
The hardest thing for me to have dealt with throughout my life has been the consistant influx of users and takers - from family, to mates, to friends. I have a very giving soul and a lot of energy, so I've come to realize that's why I attract people like this (after all opposites DO attract). People like this have done nothing but hurt and hinder my life, development and soul so I'm actively putting a stop to it all right now.

What a morning. I'd planned on shooting a couple long over-due promo videos for my project participation on thexprofiles.com , but unfortunately due to my little dog suddenly getting infested with fleas (it's that time of year) I had to take about 4 hours out to de-flea her and my apartment. Ugh.
I'm glad it's just about the end of the month. This year is going by so quickly already.
I really hope I can get to where I want to with my photography and design biz to where I can really "retire" Monica Foster / MiZtress Monica for good as planned. I'm glad I created the concept when I did, but I'm starting to reach a point where though I'm grateful for the positive attention and income that Monica's attractd, I'm also beginning to attract some really negative and hateful attention as well.
Fortunately throughout my life I've kept my social circles fairly limited, so it's pretty easy to narrow down the few individuals I've known who'd actually take the time and effort to continually create new screen names/aliases to send me threatening emails through the few networks I'm on. I'm glad these networks are co-operating with me in tracking down the sender's IP addresses/info to where if needed I can forward them to law enforcement.
It's amazing how even when you try to keep to yourself, not bother anyone and just do your own thing there are those out there with nothing better to do than try to annoy you.
Anyways tonight will be another installment of Real Exotic Dancers Talk back on www.redtback.com - I'll try to put together an interesting show.

Well, I'd planned on having a quiet "work only" weekend, but I wound up having just the opposite, actually I had a really great weekend :)
Friday night I had a "girls night out" with a some friends I hadn't hung out with in quite a while - I'll post a mini video clip of the night out later on.
Saturday I had one of the best "dates" I've had in a VERY long time.
And today, I just rested, but am going to do some website and webcam work the remainder of the night.
Overall I think the themes of the weekend was "out with the old and in with the new".

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There's nothing like a REALLY good product/invention. Certain brain farts from the geniuses of the planet truly do make the world go-round and allow progress to continue.
I found an AWSOME new webcam program today that allows for overlays and special effects over your live stream via a multitude of applications. Took me a while to find a program like this that works seamlessly with my system/network and that's customizable (hell I didn't even think one existed). This program will make such a difference in my cam shows - I'm excited!
Over the past few months I've found a ton of useful software online. I remember back to the days when they only decent software portal was c-net (which is now download.com) - god has the internet changed. I love it.
Change - it's amazing how not only the world external of us changes, but how our inner perspectives of things do as well.
Later today I'll be redesigning the Real Exotic Dancers Talk Back website www.redtback.com - check out the new intro for the show and last week's show highlights :)

1pm and I've gotten a TON done today! Alright! I think I need a nap - check out this clip from yesterday - it's me interviewing Fibi Love of www.fibilove.com - this edit is for my show "Real Exotic Dancers Talk Back" (www.redtback.com) - I'll post "The X-profiles" (www.thexprofiles.com edit later once Kamary has it done.

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Well I'm taking a break from redoing my hair to write this blog. I'll post a pic of my new hair "look" later tonight.
It's Feb. 13th, the day before Valentines day, and I'm feeling pretty good. I actually didn't realize that tomorrow is Valentines day until early this afternoon. I wonder if I'll get anything from romantic interest(s) in my life? If not it's cool, because the main guy in my life, my Dad, already sent me something :)
My co-host from www.TheXProfiles.com wrote a pretty cute song for me (and as a promo for the show we're doing) - check it out here.
Tomorrow I have an interview with an upcomming talent for both The X profiles and RED T-Back so that should be fun.

"Out with the old to make room for the new." I'm applying this saying to both my personal life and my closet - yes - tonight I started cleaning my closet. Tossing out a ton of clothes that I used to love (most of which are covered with sparkles and crap), but are not the "current me" anymore.
I want to "class it up" a bit in regards to my look. No, I don't want to be a boring conservative girl, but I do want to tone it down a little bit in regards to the sparkly glittery stuff and start ushering in some real designer digs :)
I think if I let go of some of the things I no longer use/wear I'll be more motivated to work harder to get some new things that I want.

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Sometimes you have to take a step back and really be grateful for what you have. Living in South-East Florida that can be very very hard. It's even harder when some of your friends and a person you date live in an incredible highrise right on the ocean and drive great cars and you don't (in the building even the valet people are snooty) It's even HARDER when you try to make money via regular channels and regardless of what you do, can't seem to get ahead.
This is why so many bitches in south east florida have sugardaddies. I've tried, but I just don't have the mentality to constantly have to pander to someone. Yea, I'd love to have Coach and Gucci and Bebe and all those name brand digs like other women I see, but somehow I don't think it's really worth it unless I can buy it myself.
I've gotta stop and talk about this "Beach Club" building in Hallandale a bit. I have a love hate relationship with it. I love it because it's a dream to live there but I hate it because i don't know if I'll ever be able to afford it. When I go there I feel inadequate. You can't self park - you have to valet, and I feel like the valet people and other people look down on me because I don't have a nice car. Also a lot of people there seem to have a serious stick up their ass if they know you don't live there. I think people who live there maybe should only associate amoungst themselves.
Truthfully I think I should just be able to date someone who has a little more than me who enjoys taking me out and paying for my half, but that's even hard to find, guys where i live have real attitudes which is why I think I will stop dating all together. Even if a guy does front the $ when he takes you out here a lot of times he's kinda condescending.
It's true about the middle class dwindling away. People soon are either just going to be rich or poor. I'd like to just be ok.
When I feel like this though to get myself back on track, I just watch this video:

I think I just need to move out of South East Florida - I can't keep up and I'm sick of feeling bad about it.
In other news, here's intro for the new online show The X-profiles that I'm doing - still very excited about it. Goes to show that even if something you're doing isn't immidiately making you money it still can be worth it.