Saturday, January 10, 2009

Though this weekend, is one of the largest adult industry networking events (the AVNs / AEE and Internext), I'm obviously not attending (sorry about that to everyone who asked if I'd be there via email and myspace - I will be next year). Instead I've decided to make this a weekend of cam shows, creativity, and business planning as I expect 2009 to be a very busy year.
I'm actually incredibly excited about this week, as I'll be producing my first VOD (video on demand) POV series installment. At this very moment (as I write this) I'm taking a break from making the graphics for my new site which will host the series. I think that all of you "Monica Foster addicts" out there will really enjoy what I'm putting together for you.
Tonight I received some GREAT feedback from my show on the CamZ network, so thanks peeps :) As most of u know, I always try to make the show fun, but 2009 shows will be EXTRA fun so keep watching (hell, I have a stripper pole again so how can they NOT be fun).
Tomorrow at some point I'll be putting together a new photo set for my site. As I look back over the "Monica Foster years" it's cool to see how my look has evolved. Well just talking about my "look" would be shallow - I suppose overall I've evolved a lot as a person - and I'm glad.
Thinking back on how I made the switch from being a computer/electronic tech to working in the adult industry (first as a stripper, then a cam girl, and now a porn "star"), I almost see it as a "revenge of the nerds" experiment.
I don't know who I think I'm fooling trying to be "little miss sexpot" but I'll tell u what, it is SOOOO much damn fun. Maybe I'm not "fooling" anyone though, appearance wise I've pretty much figured out what's "appealing enough" and working in the adult industry essentially has unleashed the sexual side of my personality which I may not have ever discovered if I hadn't been brave enough to embark on this "adult industry journey". I suppose that a big draw of the adult industry for me truly was the attention though - I'll admit, when I was back in High School, I was only asked out by 2 guys - in total - neither of which I was into. The one guy I had a crush on totally dissed me. It hurt. Growing up I never felt attractive and my family certainly didn't help much in the matter (an attractive appearance wasn't overly emphasized in my household being that I come from an intellectual lot of equal rights activists - which is probably why I do embody certain traits). For me finding a bit of success in the adult world is a twisted form of validation and vindication for me - and it's OK, we all have our hang ups.
Today I read an article on how Sasha Grey (one of my favorite AV performers - it's amazing to me how deep she is for someone so young) wanted porn to be "more creative". I have to agree with her. The most "creative" I've been able to be so far in porn, has been playing "Claire" in the most recent feature I was cast in, but even that role didn't allow me to truly spread my wings (or other body parts) like I feel I'm capable of doing. Honestly, the lack of "creativity" I've been able to explore pisses me off, because getting in, I assumed (and that was my mistake), that I'd get to do movies more along the line of what Wicked, Digital Playground, and Vivid produce. Gonzo is cool, but people want to see a story, and a high quality production. Yea, sometimes guys just want to jerk off to a girl getting rammed, but I know for a fact in general people on occasion want to see something beautifully erotic to get off.
Maybe if I was a DIFFERENT TYPE OF PERSON I'd have gotten the opportunity to be in more productions like I initially envisioned myself being in, but since I can only be me, I can live with it. After these AVNs are over we'll see what's up 4 sure in regards to casting opportunities.
Actually I'm glad that my "porn career" has been as it has, because it's pushed me to see that I'm better suited to be a camera person, writer and director. I hope in 2009 some cool castings come about, but if not, I'll cast myself in whatever I can dream up and execute. I suppose that just like with most of my photos of which I've shot myself, I'm pretty certain that I can manage to produce some kick as porn that I produce and distribute myself. Why not - NERD POWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Actually I hope that by 2011 I'll be able to open my own studio/distrubtion company. I like the idea of having "contract stars" but not with an "iron clad" contract - and definitely short term. I'll elaborate more on my views of contract vs. non-contract another day.
Oh, and one more thing, I'm almost done with - I have a feeling that a few people will have a problem with the site, but I don't care - I'm over what other people think aside from my immediate family and loved ones. Plus considering how I've put the site together (lots of time and effort), I know tons of people (specifically young women) will benefit from the knowledge and experience I'm sharing. It actually amazes me that more women in the business haven't taken the initiative to help out other newbies - it's weird. Maybe it's due to a lot of women feeling the need to compete with each other rather than cooperate.