I've been keeping this blog fairly positive lately but I can't always look on the "bright side" - no one can - it's part of being human.
I have been trying very hard over the past few years not to be a quitter anymore with things I do and to stick out my situations, goals and tasks to completion. However today I reached a breaking point.
What is the job of an "agency" - hell, of ANY sort. To seek out work for their clients, book them, relay the correct and complete info of the job to their (the agency's) client they represent, and then (in the end) collect a commission for their hard earned work from their client that they supposedly WORK FOR and REPRESENT. Right?
Well apparently in the adult entertainment world that is NOT the case, at least not in my situation. My agency has booked me successfully on a few gigs, but allowed too many screw ups - not due to the owner most likely but due to a certain couple employees.
If I were a woman in porn who showed up to gigs late, or on drugs, or not at all, or bitchy, or without wardrobe, or if I didn't pay my agency their commissions even, that would be one thing, but that's not the case.
I'm professional, a decent performer, I drive myself to shoots, am on time, don't show up on drugs or high, promote myself, have the required wardrobe always, keep myself well maintained physically, etc. I suppose that's just not valuable enough to agencies though - at least not to where they'd care to give you the correct info about shoots and the correct amount of pay to expect.
So now, for the first time in my fucking life (thanks to my lack of financial savvy, my stupid move out to Los Angeles, the fucked up economy, and my fucked up ex agency leading me to believe I could expect to make a certain amount of money today when that wasn't the case) I will be late with my rent and some other bills and now have to find an alternate source of income ASAP.
Luckily I have my website and cam shows but I gotta go "hustler gangsta" now not to end up on the street.
Fuck you "J" of Type9 - and not in the good way.
Now that I've written this I feel a little better. I don't want to be a quitter when it comes to the porn industry. It's something I actually enjoy and I don't have much else. I don't know how I'll continue now but I will try.