After you watch this I suggest you get to know someone who affirmed to me that I'm fine being exactly as I am : Shirley MacLaine - here is a recent interview with her on Coast To Coast AM - it is excellent! Click here to listen (you probably have to be a member of the site to listen).
Official Blog the Artist, Musician, Author, Investigative Blogger, accidental Adult Industry Expert & unconventional Christian (who is sometimes known as former pornstar) Monica Foster. Official website: www.MonicaFoster.net
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
When I first recorded this and reviewed it I thought that this broadcast was a bit - well for lack of better terms "out of the realm of understanding" for most - but though it is edited - it's actually not and it's exactly how I feel. Enjoy - and to my enemies - you made a huge mistake tonight.
After you watch this I suggest you get to know someone who affirmed to me that I'm fine being exactly as I am : Shirley MacLaine - here is a recent interview with her on Coast To Coast AM - it is excellent! Click here to listen (you probably have to be a member of the site to listen).
After you watch this I suggest you get to know someone who affirmed to me that I'm fine being exactly as I am : Shirley MacLaine - here is a recent interview with her on Coast To Coast AM - it is excellent! Click here to listen (you probably have to be a member of the site to listen).
Monday, May 23, 2011
There's something I feel the need to address tonight in written form - especially considering the content of my most recent broadcast of www.MonicaAtHome.com
The issue tonight I will be addressing is rape. Lately I've been having recurring nightmares about this incident again - so I feel that God is telling me that it's time for me to share this.
New Years Eve (2008 into 2009) I was raped in a bathroom of a loft/condo off Hollywood and Vine by a man by the name of Chase. I pushed this incident into the back of my mind and never blogged about it here (there are actually MANY things I have not blogged about here out of fear, and out of the selfishness of wanting to build a long term career for myself within the porn industry), but I am today.
I was invited out by Scott David of X-play / All Media Play to a party at Ecco Lounge - where I had a really good time. Then afterwards we went to an afterparty at the residence of a guy by the name of Robert Quinn in a beautiful loft/condo building off Hollywood and Vine. I wound up getting drunk - incredibly intoxicated in fact that night and wound up talking to a guy by the name of Chase in the bathroom. He seemed nice, friendly, etc - and I let my guard down being that he was a black guy (I've never had any black / African American males be aggressive with me in life - at least not up until that point).
Chase was talking about his son, and showed me a photo of his son from his wallet - and I told him that I thought he had a cute kid. Then he asked me if I did privates. He specifically used the term "privates" (meaning escorting/prostitution). I told him that I was working as a porn actress currently. Not even 5 seconds later Chase had me on the floor and raped me. I didn't know what to do because I'd never been pinned down like that before. It only took about a minute and I went into a mental shock/black out mode - I didn't know what to think, how to react or even what to do. When he got off of me, I got up, left the bathroom, tried to act normal and told Scott David what happened.
Scott became really angry and attempted to fight Chase - I yelled at Scott to stop (because I just wanted to get out of there asap) and we left the party.
After that night I didn't want to think about the event and I pushed it to the back of my mind. I know now thinking back that I should have gone to the police and to the hospital but I didn't and I'll tell you why. Shame - I knew that in the eyes of the law and in the eyes of anyone (in my view at the time) I would be seen in a negative light - especially being that I had sex for living as a "pornstar". I didn't want the issue to come up in the relationship I was in at the time, and I didn't want it to get around in the "porn industry" that I wasn't easy going. I wanted to just let the whole thing go.
In time I started having nightmares about the incident. I contacted Jeff Mullen / Will Ryder and asked him for Chase's number (I wasn't sure whether his name was Chase or Chance). He gave it to me and I called Chase and screamed at him and told him he'd better not ever do anything along the lines of what he did to me to anyone else ever again - then I hung up the phone. He called me back but I didn't answer the phone. That was a pointless thing to do, but it's all I had the courage to do at the time.
Chase is a piece of shit with a mentality the unfortunately isn't too uncommon for jerks like himself who are on the fringes of the porn industry. I'm not sure exactly how or why Chase was at that party, I don't think he works for any porn studios (at least I'd never seen him on any of the sets I'd worked on before) but he somehow tight with Jeff Mullen and his friend Robert Quinn. Men like Chase figure that simply because a woman does porn, it's OK to be sexual with her anytime anyplace whether she likes it or not. I truly wonder how many other women Chase has done this to who felt like I did at the time - ashamed and afraid.
It's most likely to late to do anything about the incident now, but I would like to track this fucker Chase down and at least file a formal complaint against him of some sort - so I'm going to investigate how to do so. It sickens me that men in the porn industry such as Jeff Mullen and several others maintain friendships with men like Chase who feel that it's OK to violate a woman's body and space.
As my reaffirmed relationship with God and Jesus Christ grows and strengthens, and I as develop more internal strength and courage, and as my mind clears of the poisonous energy I picked up through my interactions with certain individuals within the porn industry - I'm realizing that it's imperative that I share my experiences and tell the truth about the events I witnessed and the situations I was in over the past few years - because it might save other young women and men from suffering the same fate as myself.
Tonight when I tweeted via twitter that I'm actively searching for the contact info of this Chase jerk so I can at least try to file some sort of legal complaint against him - Jeff Mullen immediately sent me text messages stating that I am a "liar" and that he's "disappointed in me" and that "he's one of the good guys" and that I'm being "unChristian".
I decided to post photos of the texts I received tonight because I'm sick of people calling me a liar nowdays when I am being honest, telling the truth and not holding back (which I feel is nearly killing me).
I strongly advise that if you're considering entering porn, or if you currently are a porn talent (or even if you are not in porn) DO NOT work with X-Play / All Media Play because apparently Jeff Mullen not only attempts to portray depictions of children having sex in his movies as I outline in this youtube video here - he also maintains friendships with men who think it's OK to sexually attack women just because they may be sex workers to begin with.
I suppose this is what happens when you just can't live a lie and withhold the truth anymore. Tonight I'm just going to pray to God and Jesus Christ my lord and savior that things in my life will work out however it is that God has planned for me. I have to retain faith. I feel like I'm being attacked from all directions at this phase, but I truly believe that God is standing with me, and I know for a fact that nothing and no one can triumph over God.
I'm documenting all of this because I feel like there needs to be a record incase someone out there decides to attempt to hurt me. I'm not overly afraid, but I am aware.
***Update 1: I found out tonight from someone on twitter ( @xxxVIP ) that "he answers to Black Shrek. He shows up late to parties to scrounge for rufee'd porn girls." - hopefully law enforcement or someone will be able to put a stop to not only Chase - but this trend in the porn / adult entertainment industry.
****Update 2: I found out that Chase uses the last name Styles or Stylez and DEFINITELY answers to "Black Shrek"
The issue tonight I will be addressing is rape. Lately I've been having recurring nightmares about this incident again - so I feel that God is telling me that it's time for me to share this.
New Years Eve (2008 into 2009) I was raped in a bathroom of a loft/condo off Hollywood and Vine by a man by the name of Chase. I pushed this incident into the back of my mind and never blogged about it here (there are actually MANY things I have not blogged about here out of fear, and out of the selfishness of wanting to build a long term career for myself within the porn industry), but I am today.
I was invited out by Scott David of X-play / All Media Play to a party at Ecco Lounge - where I had a really good time. Then afterwards we went to an afterparty at the residence of a guy by the name of Robert Quinn in a beautiful loft/condo building off Hollywood and Vine. I wound up getting drunk - incredibly intoxicated in fact that night and wound up talking to a guy by the name of Chase in the bathroom. He seemed nice, friendly, etc - and I let my guard down being that he was a black guy (I've never had any black / African American males be aggressive with me in life - at least not up until that point).
Chase was talking about his son, and showed me a photo of his son from his wallet - and I told him that I thought he had a cute kid. Then he asked me if I did privates. He specifically used the term "privates" (meaning escorting/prostitution). I told him that I was working as a porn actress currently. Not even 5 seconds later Chase had me on the floor and raped me. I didn't know what to do because I'd never been pinned down like that before. It only took about a minute and I went into a mental shock/black out mode - I didn't know what to think, how to react or even what to do. When he got off of me, I got up, left the bathroom, tried to act normal and told Scott David what happened.
Scott became really angry and attempted to fight Chase - I yelled at Scott to stop (because I just wanted to get out of there asap) and we left the party.
After that night I didn't want to think about the event and I pushed it to the back of my mind. I know now thinking back that I should have gone to the police and to the hospital but I didn't and I'll tell you why. Shame - I knew that in the eyes of the law and in the eyes of anyone (in my view at the time) I would be seen in a negative light - especially being that I had sex for living as a "pornstar". I didn't want the issue to come up in the relationship I was in at the time, and I didn't want it to get around in the "porn industry" that I wasn't easy going. I wanted to just let the whole thing go.
In time I started having nightmares about the incident. I contacted Jeff Mullen / Will Ryder and asked him for Chase's number (I wasn't sure whether his name was Chase or Chance). He gave it to me and I called Chase and screamed at him and told him he'd better not ever do anything along the lines of what he did to me to anyone else ever again - then I hung up the phone. He called me back but I didn't answer the phone. That was a pointless thing to do, but it's all I had the courage to do at the time.
Chase is a piece of shit with a mentality the unfortunately isn't too uncommon for jerks like himself who are on the fringes of the porn industry. I'm not sure exactly how or why Chase was at that party, I don't think he works for any porn studios (at least I'd never seen him on any of the sets I'd worked on before) but he somehow tight with Jeff Mullen and his friend Robert Quinn. Men like Chase figure that simply because a woman does porn, it's OK to be sexual with her anytime anyplace whether she likes it or not. I truly wonder how many other women Chase has done this to who felt like I did at the time - ashamed and afraid.
It's most likely to late to do anything about the incident now, but I would like to track this fucker Chase down and at least file a formal complaint against him of some sort - so I'm going to investigate how to do so. It sickens me that men in the porn industry such as Jeff Mullen and several others maintain friendships with men like Chase who feel that it's OK to violate a woman's body and space.
As my reaffirmed relationship with God and Jesus Christ grows and strengthens, and I as develop more internal strength and courage, and as my mind clears of the poisonous energy I picked up through my interactions with certain individuals within the porn industry - I'm realizing that it's imperative that I share my experiences and tell the truth about the events I witnessed and the situations I was in over the past few years - because it might save other young women and men from suffering the same fate as myself.
Tonight when I tweeted via twitter that I'm actively searching for the contact info of this Chase jerk so I can at least try to file some sort of legal complaint against him - Jeff Mullen immediately sent me text messages stating that I am a "liar" and that he's "disappointed in me" and that "he's one of the good guys" and that I'm being "unChristian".
I decided to post photos of the texts I received tonight because I'm sick of people calling me a liar nowdays when I am being honest, telling the truth and not holding back (which I feel is nearly killing me).
I strongly advise that if you're considering entering porn, or if you currently are a porn talent (or even if you are not in porn) DO NOT work with X-Play / All Media Play because apparently Jeff Mullen not only attempts to portray depictions of children having sex in his movies as I outline in this youtube video here - he also maintains friendships with men who think it's OK to sexually attack women just because they may be sex workers to begin with.
I suppose this is what happens when you just can't live a lie and withhold the truth anymore. Tonight I'm just going to pray to God and Jesus Christ my lord and savior that things in my life will work out however it is that God has planned for me. I have to retain faith. I feel like I'm being attacked from all directions at this phase, but I truly believe that God is standing with me, and I know for a fact that nothing and no one can triumph over God.
I'm documenting all of this because I feel like there needs to be a record incase someone out there decides to attempt to hurt me. I'm not overly afraid, but I am aware.
***Update 1: I found out tonight from someone on twitter ( @xxxVIP ) that "he answers to Black Shrek. He shows up late to parties to scrounge for rufee'd porn girls." - hopefully law enforcement or someone will be able to put a stop to not only Chase - but this trend in the porn / adult entertainment industry.
****Update 2: I found out that Chase uses the last name Styles or Stylez and DEFINITELY answers to "Black Shrek"
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
It's not even 12pm here but it's been quite a long day already. I had the opportunity to attend and speak at an LA City Council meeting this morning - quite the anxiety filled experience (I have no problem chit chatting with hundreds of people live online - but offline...that's another story...I'm shy) - but at the same time a much needed experience. I'll detail it all later. For now enjoy last night's broadcast of Monica Foster @ Home.
In the beginning of the broadcast, I share my thoughts on Shelley Lubben and the Pink Cross and the lack of balance between pro-porn and anti-porn groups. I address why I was an active participant in Not the Cosbys XXX 1 and 2 though I disagree with the character of "Rudy" played by Nina Devon which I feel depicts the sexualized image of a child.
I go over why watching adult content can lead a person to a false view of the type of partner they feel they should be with and unrealistic expectations of standards of beauty. I also touch on why I feel older men (especially those who work in the porn industry) are as obsessed with young women as they are, which I feel is due to their stunted unhealthy psychological state - a part of the reason as to why the porn industry is consistently active in recruiting women as young as possible (for both adult content AND for the men who work behind the scenes who are addicted to sex).
I give a live prayer session with my live viewers and pray for those affected by the Pornwikileaks issue.
Later in PART 2 of the broadcast I discuss the shady recruitment methods of porn industry "professionals" via social networking sites and possible extortion tactics within the porn and adult entertainment industry that people (espcially youngsters) should be aware of.
In the beginning of the broadcast, I share my thoughts on Shelley Lubben and the Pink Cross and the lack of balance between pro-porn and anti-porn groups. I address why I was an active participant in Not the Cosbys XXX 1 and 2 though I disagree with the character of "Rudy" played by Nina Devon which I feel depicts the sexualized image of a child.
I go over why watching adult content can lead a person to a false view of the type of partner they feel they should be with and unrealistic expectations of standards of beauty. I also touch on why I feel older men (especially those who work in the porn industry) are as obsessed with young women as they are, which I feel is due to their stunted unhealthy psychological state - a part of the reason as to why the porn industry is consistently active in recruiting women as young as possible (for both adult content AND for the men who work behind the scenes who are addicted to sex).
I give a live prayer session with my live viewers and pray for those affected by the Pornwikileaks issue.
Later in PART 2 of the broadcast I discuss the shady recruitment methods of porn industry "professionals" via social networking sites and possible extortion tactics within the porn and adult entertainment industry that people (espcially youngsters) should be aware of.
Saturday, May 07, 2011
This week's broadcast of Monica @ Home (www.MonicaAtHome.com)
Part 1
Part 2
On this particular broadcast of Monica @ Home I discuss my faith in God being reaffirmed, AIM (the primary STD testing facility for porn talents - www.aim-med.org) shutting down which has left the current active talent in a very dangerous situation without a primary STD testing facility (and verifiable database) along with an aspect of the porn industry that has been bothering me for quite some time: the depiction of children in adult content (which is against the law according to chapter 110 sections B and C of title 18 of the United States code which governs Child Pornography).
Monday, May 02, 2011
The evening of April 29th, 2011 after attending the Free Speech Coalition meeting (which I had a hell of a time making it to) and grabbing some dinner, a new friend decided to come and stay with me for a while. He appeared on my patio wall and wasn't in the mood to fly away, so I brought him in.
Phillip
God speaks to us in interesting ways.
Dove, Pigeon, Power Animal, Symbol of Peace, Love, Maternity, Gentleness, Spirit Messenger
Arrest Of Jesus
Possible proof that a law in regards to Child Pornography has been broken in Not the Cosbys XXX 2
(read the comments)
Phillip
God speaks to us in interesting ways.
Dove, Pigeon, Power Animal, Symbol of Peace, Love, Maternity, Gentleness, Spirit Messenger
Arrest Of Jesus
Possible proof that a law in regards to Child Pornography has been broken in Not the Cosbys XXX 2
(read the comments)
Thursday, April 28, 2011
For some of you out there who keep up with me, it's no secret that I've been experiencing some extreme depression from having to deal with the Pornwikileaks venture that certain "anonymous" individuals have decided to maintain and expand.
The venture has made myself, my family and countless others a target for quite a few angry, disgruntled and potentially dangerous individuals. Tuesday night, I was finally pushed over the edge after receiving a slew of hate filled messages online. I seriously contemplated ending my time here in this world.
I know even contemplating such an action is viewed as foolish and selfish by many, however my mindset at the time was in a place that it's never been before, due to my feeling that there may be no solution to the pain and trouble I've caused for those that I care for. At that moment I felt those I care for may be better off if I wasn't here.
Obviously I'm writing this, so I'm still here and I'm in a better mental place now with the help of a couple close friends who reached out to me after I tweeted my feelings that evening. I'm beyond grateful to these individuals - however I'm not ashamed of having felt as I did, because I'm only a human being and I can't retain strength and optimism indefinitely. I'm tough but I'm a sensitive creative artist at my core and the stalking and bullying has caused me to feel I've lost the one thing I had left - my pride.
The many actions people can take against others in our society that fall within the "loop holes" of the law really frustrate me. It's come to my knowledge that there ARE people who could have spoken up and put a stop to the PornWikileaks venture - but have not. Why? Probably due to fear or due to potential financial gain from the venture succeeding. Practices such as psychological warfare need to be evaluated by our society and there needs to be laws implemented to protect individuals from such tactics dished out by those with the know how to do so. Maybe in time that will happen - but then again maybe it won't.
In my view, anyone who KNOWS who has created and maintains Pornwikileaks but fails to speak up to stop the endangerment of countless people's lives, in my view is just as guilty as those who own/run the site. The truth always comes out and often when traditional justice does not prevail other forms do.
What people don't realize about "porn" and the issues affecting the "porn industry" as of current, is that there is a lot of money at stake, along with many people's freedom being at stake. I've come to realize that I'm viewed as a very dangerous person by many who want to unjustly retain their financial status and freedom due to what I've seen, where I've been and what I know.
I feel the "wiki" (that I suspect a fictitious and/or anonymous adult industry blogger who uses the pen name "Darrah Ford" wrote) was a warning shot to me that basically says "shut up and/or do as we say or we will hurt you and/or your family because we know where you and they live". I think most people would be both frightened and depressed if they had to deal with this classic Mafia style threat. I do not and will not cave to these threats however - what I've said and written over the years has been exactly what I thought or felt at that moment. Yes, my feelings and views have altered as I've evolved and continued to experience life, however I WILL NOT take back anything I've written or said that I currently BELIEVE IN.
Again I feel like I'm in a better, more healthy and stronger place emotionally now - today. It's difficult being that I have no immediate or extended family on this side of the country, don't have a boyfriend or husband or children and have very few close friends to lean on. By nature I don't like to lean on anyone which is probably a positive in many situations but probably a negative in this one. Come to think of it maybe that's why I've been used as an example by those behind PornWikiLeaks - they figured I'd back down due to lack of support.
Regardless I felt the need to share this part of my life with you all. I want many of you reading this out there to know that YES you should stand up for what you feel is right, speak out and try your best to facilitate changes when you can - HOWEVER I want you to know that it's a very hard and dangerous road to take - Malcolm X and Martin Luther King are good examples of this.
I know I still haven't released the first installment of my next book "Getting Into Porn - The Journeys" yet, but I will soon and I hope many of you read it (I will be setting it at a very very very low price) because it may be one of the only true accounts as to what dealing with people who view humans as no more than merchandise and sex toys really are like.
I'm still not anti-porn - but I am anti-porn industry until people with souls and a sense of responsibility toward their fellow man can take the reigns of this "porn industry" again.
Too many individuals in the porn industry as of current are OUT OF CONTROL in my view - especially when it comes to the current promotion of adult niches that in my view are making pedophilia and incest appear "normal". That shit is NOT NORMAL and it's not right that our youth that stumbles upon free tube sites are being indoctrinated into the sick dream worlds of people who could NEVER maintain a healthy relationship or life in mainstream society.
Well that's enough for today - thanks for reading and keeping up with me still after all this time.
No regrets - just amazement as to how an industry that can seem so "free" in actuality is a venue to enslave.
The venture has made myself, my family and countless others a target for quite a few angry, disgruntled and potentially dangerous individuals. Tuesday night, I was finally pushed over the edge after receiving a slew of hate filled messages online. I seriously contemplated ending my time here in this world.
I know even contemplating such an action is viewed as foolish and selfish by many, however my mindset at the time was in a place that it's never been before, due to my feeling that there may be no solution to the pain and trouble I've caused for those that I care for. At that moment I felt those I care for may be better off if I wasn't here.
Obviously I'm writing this, so I'm still here and I'm in a better mental place now with the help of a couple close friends who reached out to me after I tweeted my feelings that evening. I'm beyond grateful to these individuals - however I'm not ashamed of having felt as I did, because I'm only a human being and I can't retain strength and optimism indefinitely. I'm tough but I'm a sensitive creative artist at my core and the stalking and bullying has caused me to feel I've lost the one thing I had left - my pride.
The many actions people can take against others in our society that fall within the "loop holes" of the law really frustrate me. It's come to my knowledge that there ARE people who could have spoken up and put a stop to the PornWikileaks venture - but have not. Why? Probably due to fear or due to potential financial gain from the venture succeeding. Practices such as psychological warfare need to be evaluated by our society and there needs to be laws implemented to protect individuals from such tactics dished out by those with the know how to do so. Maybe in time that will happen - but then again maybe it won't.
In my view, anyone who KNOWS who has created and maintains Pornwikileaks but fails to speak up to stop the endangerment of countless people's lives, in my view is just as guilty as those who own/run the site. The truth always comes out and often when traditional justice does not prevail other forms do.
What people don't realize about "porn" and the issues affecting the "porn industry" as of current, is that there is a lot of money at stake, along with many people's freedom being at stake. I've come to realize that I'm viewed as a very dangerous person by many who want to unjustly retain their financial status and freedom due to what I've seen, where I've been and what I know.
I feel the "wiki" (that I suspect a fictitious and/or anonymous adult industry blogger who uses the pen name "Darrah Ford" wrote) was a warning shot to me that basically says "shut up and/or do as we say or we will hurt you and/or your family because we know where you and they live". I think most people would be both frightened and depressed if they had to deal with this classic Mafia style threat. I do not and will not cave to these threats however - what I've said and written over the years has been exactly what I thought or felt at that moment. Yes, my feelings and views have altered as I've evolved and continued to experience life, however I WILL NOT take back anything I've written or said that I currently BELIEVE IN.
Again I feel like I'm in a better, more healthy and stronger place emotionally now - today. It's difficult being that I have no immediate or extended family on this side of the country, don't have a boyfriend or husband or children and have very few close friends to lean on. By nature I don't like to lean on anyone which is probably a positive in many situations but probably a negative in this one. Come to think of it maybe that's why I've been used as an example by those behind PornWikiLeaks - they figured I'd back down due to lack of support.
Regardless I felt the need to share this part of my life with you all. I want many of you reading this out there to know that YES you should stand up for what you feel is right, speak out and try your best to facilitate changes when you can - HOWEVER I want you to know that it's a very hard and dangerous road to take - Malcolm X and Martin Luther King are good examples of this.
I know I still haven't released the first installment of my next book "Getting Into Porn - The Journeys" yet, but I will soon and I hope many of you read it (I will be setting it at a very very very low price) because it may be one of the only true accounts as to what dealing with people who view humans as no more than merchandise and sex toys really are like.
I'm still not anti-porn - but I am anti-porn industry until people with souls and a sense of responsibility toward their fellow man can take the reigns of this "porn industry" again.
Too many individuals in the porn industry as of current are OUT OF CONTROL in my view - especially when it comes to the current promotion of adult niches that in my view are making pedophilia and incest appear "normal". That shit is NOT NORMAL and it's not right that our youth that stumbles upon free tube sites are being indoctrinated into the sick dream worlds of people who could NEVER maintain a healthy relationship or life in mainstream society.
Well that's enough for today - thanks for reading and keeping up with me still after all this time.
No regrets - just amazement as to how an industry that can seem so "free" in actuality is a venue to enslave.
Friday, April 15, 2011
I found this video on youtube recently. Many of you know what I've been dealing with in regards to the PornWikiLeaks website. I'm glad that others outside of the adult entertainment world have come to realize that such a site isn't just dangerous and breaking several laws - it's a hate crime as well.
Those who have had knowledge of who is running this website but have said nothing are just as guilty in this situation as those who created and operate that website as far as I'm concerned.
Those who have had knowledge of who is running this website but have said nothing are just as guilty in this situation as those who created and operate that website as far as I'm concerned.
Monday, April 04, 2011
Monday, March 28, 2011
Well it's been a while since I've last posted...life has taken a different pace as of late, however since I know you took the time to subscribe or check in, here's an update:
Everything is mellow and fantastic and that about sums it up! I made it through a brief nutritional detox program I put myself on and it was totally worth it - both my body and spirit feel much more energized. I'm going to make a solid effort to eat much better than I have in the past.
In other news, my websites are doing well, my book is selling steadily and I'm finally completing some projects I've had on the bench for a while. I'll admit, the woman who created "Monica Foster" has taken quite a few strides into a different direction in life which is why all things "Monica" have begun to taper off a bit. I'll keep you posted as to where my current interests are pointing towards on my weekly broadcast of www.MonicaAtHome.com (I'll get the most recent archives uploaded in time).
I'm very content with where life has me stationed as of present. It's been quite the journey and it's nice to now just simply sit back, laugh and smile.
Everything is mellow and fantastic and that about sums it up! I made it through a brief nutritional detox program I put myself on and it was totally worth it - both my body and spirit feel much more energized. I'm going to make a solid effort to eat much better than I have in the past.
In other news, my websites are doing well, my book is selling steadily and I'm finally completing some projects I've had on the bench for a while. I'll admit, the woman who created "Monica Foster" has taken quite a few strides into a different direction in life which is why all things "Monica" have begun to taper off a bit. I'll keep you posted as to where my current interests are pointing towards on my weekly broadcast of www.MonicaAtHome.com (I'll get the most recent archives uploaded in time).
I'm very content with where life has me stationed as of present. It's been quite the journey and it's nice to now just simply sit back, laugh and smile.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Monday, February 28, 2011
Friday, February 25, 2011
Another new broadcast of www.MonicaAtHome.com - don't miss tonight's live webcast on www.blogtv.com/People/MonicaFoster - LOTS and LOTS to talk about (plus a wine review of course).
Below is a re-upload of February 2nd, 2011 broadcast in regards to my concern of CBS continuing to run "2 and a Half Men featuring Charlie Sheen" - well it looks like CBS has shut down production of the show due to Charlie Sheen's recent public behavior and comments on an Alex Jone's radio show broadcast with none other than dumb ass Lenny Dykstra (yep, that idiot that I had the misfortune of meeting).
THANK YOU CBS for realizing that Sheen is a loser! 2011 is shaping up nicely.
Below is a re-upload of February 2nd, 2011 broadcast in regards to my concern of CBS continuing to run "2 and a Half Men featuring Charlie Sheen" - well it looks like CBS has shut down production of the show due to Charlie Sheen's recent public behavior and comments on an Alex Jone's radio show broadcast with none other than dumb ass Lenny Dykstra (yep, that idiot that I had the misfortune of meeting).
THANK YOU CBS for realizing that Sheen is a loser! 2011 is shaping up nicely.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Each time I think I'm getting close to the completion of my second book and am amidst the editing process, my perspective on many of the events of which have transpired within the California adult entertainment industry and the manner of which I want to share my journey changes.
I suppose that with each day we live, and with each new experience and encounter we find ourselves a part of, our perspective is broadened (while other times narrowed) and altered. At times this process can be exciting and enlightening - other times frustrating...especially when we (or at least I) struggle to grasp exactly what we're perceiving and processing.
Maybe that's why writers remain writers throughout their lives - writers are seekers, explorers, recorders and teachers - whether they want to accept the responsibility or not.
So I've been introduced to the raw food diet recently. It's not really a "diet" - it's how all human beings should be eating period - from birth. Initially I was wary and resistant to it (as I am of many things), but a healthier way of living (mainly eating) is something I feel I'm ready for at this moment. The more I've read about the raw food way of living and the benefits of such a lifestyle, I really can't find a reason why anyone wouldn't want to do it.
A new friend of mine introduced me to the "diet" and didn't really try to sell me on it...he didn't have to actually because he's a walking billboard for how it can enhance your life.
My initial thoughts on "raw food"....hmmmm....honestly looking at it - from the way it's prepared, to how it's served, to just the overall "raw" state of the ingredients, it DOES appears as though it was just beamed down from the Star Trek mothership. The taste is a bit alien as well...but why should I really be surprised really - California is like another planet in comparison to the east coast.
I'm not going to go cold-turkey raw...I'm going to do it gradually. I ordered a blender and a few other vitals to get started. The food in general doesn't cost more or less than "regular" food - actually from my perspective as of current I'll basically be eating nothing but fruits, vegetables, beans, lentils, and water. I'm sure there are a few other raw items included on the menu - I was given a book on this "diet" - so we'll see what happens.
Something I've noticed from the bit of raw-food I've had so far, is that it's very very filling considering how little you find yourself actually ingesting. I suppose that's due to it being chock full of nutrients that one generally doesn't get in processed "regular" food. This is a benefit to me because overall I see eating as a big waste of time and would prefer that I was never hungry...yep I'm weird I know but I've always found bodily needs to be annoying.
Of course I'll be documenting my thoughts and progress on how this way of eating and living works out via my blogs and what not.
If you're curious about the raw food diet and how to get started, here's a cool youtube video I found that gives a decent overview. I have a feeling that in time I'll be creating one similar once I'm all raw and ready - lol.
I suppose that with each day we live, and with each new experience and encounter we find ourselves a part of, our perspective is broadened (while other times narrowed) and altered. At times this process can be exciting and enlightening - other times frustrating...especially when we (or at least I) struggle to grasp exactly what we're perceiving and processing.
Maybe that's why writers remain writers throughout their lives - writers are seekers, explorers, recorders and teachers - whether they want to accept the responsibility or not.
So I've been introduced to the raw food diet recently. It's not really a "diet" - it's how all human beings should be eating period - from birth. Initially I was wary and resistant to it (as I am of many things), but a healthier way of living (mainly eating) is something I feel I'm ready for at this moment. The more I've read about the raw food way of living and the benefits of such a lifestyle, I really can't find a reason why anyone wouldn't want to do it.
A new friend of mine introduced me to the "diet" and didn't really try to sell me on it...he didn't have to actually because he's a walking billboard for how it can enhance your life.
My initial thoughts on "raw food"....hmmmm....honestly looking at it - from the way it's prepared, to how it's served, to just the overall "raw" state of the ingredients, it DOES appears as though it was just beamed down from the Star Trek mothership. The taste is a bit alien as well...but why should I really be surprised really - California is like another planet in comparison to the east coast.
I'm not going to go cold-turkey raw...I'm going to do it gradually. I ordered a blender and a few other vitals to get started. The food in general doesn't cost more or less than "regular" food - actually from my perspective as of current I'll basically be eating nothing but fruits, vegetables, beans, lentils, and water. I'm sure there are a few other raw items included on the menu - I was given a book on this "diet" - so we'll see what happens.
Something I've noticed from the bit of raw-food I've had so far, is that it's very very filling considering how little you find yourself actually ingesting. I suppose that's due to it being chock full of nutrients that one generally doesn't get in processed "regular" food. This is a benefit to me because overall I see eating as a big waste of time and would prefer that I was never hungry...yep I'm weird I know but I've always found bodily needs to be annoying.
Of course I'll be documenting my thoughts and progress on how this way of eating and living works out via my blogs and what not.
If you're curious about the raw food diet and how to get started, here's a cool youtube video I found that gives a decent overview. I have a feeling that in time I'll be creating one similar once I'm all raw and ready - lol.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
I read a wonderful book a few months ago entitled "Animal Speak". It was recommended to me by a long distance friend of mine who's very spiritually aware of the interconnectedness of life (on this planet and beyond) and how at times, due to ego and the day to day tasks we as humans create for ourselves, we can forget that it's in nature, that we can find all the answers to all the questions that have ever perplexed us.
I suppose it's because I've lived quite deeply in a world of artificiality and superficiality for such an extended amount of time, that I now find myself seeking a balance in a world which is the opposite of where I've been residing for the past 3 decades.
This year will be very exciting for me, because I've been given the gift to be able to explore a different way of living, that still is interlinked with where I've been.
As of late, I've been allowing myself to ride the tides, and it's been working out well. I've had quite a few interesting options, opportunities and individuals enter my life over the past few weeks - and I've learned a vast amount from each - whether it be for the negative or the positive.
Positive / Negative : I'm beginning to realize that in the end, it's the balance that's important - not either element singularly.
I suppose it's because I've lived quite deeply in a world of artificiality and superficiality for such an extended amount of time, that I now find myself seeking a balance in a world which is the opposite of where I've been residing for the past 3 decades.
This year will be very exciting for me, because I've been given the gift to be able to explore a different way of living, that still is interlinked with where I've been.
As of late, I've been allowing myself to ride the tides, and it's been working out well. I've had quite a few interesting options, opportunities and individuals enter my life over the past few weeks - and I've learned a vast amount from each - whether it be for the negative or the positive.
Positive / Negative : I'm beginning to realize that in the end, it's the balance that's important - not either element singularly.
Monday, February 14, 2011
This is a very well put together documentary on Shelley Lubben of The Pink Cross (www.thepinkcross.org) by Michael Whiteacre and Julie Meadows (www.juliemeadows.com).
Take responsibility for your choices in life people and be pro-active in making a change if you need to - don't consistently re-hash the past, because it's just that - THE PAST
Take responsibility for your choices in life people and be pro-active in making a change if you need to - don't consistently re-hash the past, because it's just that - THE PAST
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Amazing how things in a person's life can change so rapidly while living here in Los Angeles. The fast pace of life here makes things consistently interesting...that's for certain.It looks like I'll be going at the webisode series I mentioned in my last blog of which I wrote alone, and I actually feel great about it. I'm much more comfortable working independently and I don't take very well to "creative input" that isn't very creative.
I swear, some people couldn't come up with an original idea by themselves if their life depended on it.
The primary individual I was going to collaborate with, along with a mutual friend really aren't the type of individuals I want to spend time around any longer. I'm sure they're both good people in their own way, but as I'm moving forward into a more stable life, I've decided not to continue to spend time with people who are dishonest, who are at consistent risk of falling into negative situations and who are a drain on my energetic resources.
I found an awesome location to shoot the majority of the webisode series however, and for a very low rate as well so I'm quite happy. I have most of the parts cast and I think I should be able to get the entire project produced very inexpensively.
I'm very fortunate to have made it through life to where I am right now. I've had to wade my way through a lot of muck, and have found myself having to sift through the people in my life and separate the genuine from the wastes of space...time and time again....but it's all be worth it. I'm happy.
Sunday, February 06, 2011
Writing a true script - especially a comedy with rather dark humor (my sense of humor could probably be equated to that of Larry David and Paul Mooney)- is weird and can actually be a bit uncomfortable. Primarily because (at least in my case) when you write characters, you tend to find yourself slipping into that character's mindset which can leave you feeling a bit unnerved as you allow your own mind to explore how a fictitious character's thought patterns may be.
I'm taking some of these characters I'm writing for this project pretty far when it comes to their dysfunctionality both in their everyday public personas and private personas so I'll probably need to go into seclusion for a while to reset once this production is over.
I'll be surprised if I don't wind up going completely schizophrenic before the end of this venture actually.
I'm actually very excited about shooting this project even though it will be a lot of work and will probably be frustrating for me being that I don't like working with other people very much, because it will be the first video project that I'll get to be primarily "in charge of". I suppose I'm not officially "in charge", but considering that I'm the person on the team who is the most organized and ADD, the role of producer basically falls in my lap by default (hey as long as I can perceive it this way at least, the situation is tolerable for me - luckily the people I'll be working with on this realize this).
After this projects first few installments are shot, I plan on shooting the first scenes of the adult parody that I want to complete by July of this year which will be based on one of my favorite works "Queen of the Damned".
Though I'm moving away from performing as an adult entertainer, I'm definitely someone who was destined to write adult material. It's odd too, because I really don't have sex too often anymore (and that needs to change).
A friend of mine brought over a bottle of Jack Daniels the other night - and I have to say it's been a very helpful tool. I hate to admit it but my best work pours out of me when I drink - I suppose because I allow myself to lower invisible barriers I've built up within my own psyche. I'm finally becoming comfortable enough with who I really am to lower those barrier without a stimulant, but it's still difficult at times.
I've just recently come to realize and have finally begun to accept that I have a certain "psychological twist" when it comes to what I find sexy, so I'm going to have to work that out a bit - I find that the band Muse really helps with that for some odd reason.
Well, back to work - I just wanted to take some time to update this blog. At this stage I really wish I could clone myself - if I could I'd get so much more done so much quicker. Being impatient has always been my fault.
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