Monday, June 30, 2008

Well sometime later tonight I say goodbye to Florida for good. As long as some of my family resides here, I'm sure I'll visit from time to time - however I will never come back to Florida to live. I've had some good times here and have made some good friends, aquaintances and contacts - however unfortunately my negative experiences in Florida outweigh the positive (and it's not just my perspective), so sticking around here would be a HUGE mistake and wouldn't help me progress in life.
The timing of my move to California I think is good in some ways (better work/employment opportunities, a more positive and creative enviroment, etc), but the move itself is breaking me financially. I didn't factor out how much it would cost gasoline wise until the last minute which was my main mistake - hopefully I will be ok. I've never been good with money - I don't blame myself for my lack of funds for gas though - I blame the idiots who currently are running our government.
Sometimes in life you just KNOW that you need to do a certain task or follow a certain path. This move to California for me is something that I simply KNOW I have to do - WHY I don't entirely know - however I know deep in my core that at this point in my life, it's where I need to be.
It's interesting how when you start to take steps in life to really better yourself, assholes from your past feel the need to resurface in your life (ex's, past friends or even extended family who hasn't really spoken to you in years). I think it's funny. I suppose it's just human nature for the weak to try to latch on to the strong - fortunately I'm strong enough to shake the weaklings off before they get a hold of me :)
The great thing about moving to Cali, is that it's a fresh start. I'm excited to start re-building my photography and graphics business and to explore other opportunities available to me in both mainstream and adult entertainment - both in front of and behind the camera.
The drive and move will be hard and weird but well worth it. I've had to downsize quite a bit. I don't really have that many belongings to begin with, but considering that I'm only moving with what will fit in my car I have had to give away and throw away many items - some items of which I actually had attachment to. It's a little depressing for me, but I guess you can't welcome new things without letting go of old things.