It's been a few days since I've last blogged so here's an update.

My Memorial Day weekend was fantastic. I headed up to the Lake Nacimiento area to camp for 3 days with my boyfriend and another friend and had a BLAST. I haven't camped since I was a little girl in GirlScouts and truthfully, I'd forgotten how much I enjoying being out in nature.

The drive up to the lake definitely showcases California's variety in it's landscape - on the approach you feel as though you're in Tuscany as you drive through California's wine country. The area we camped in was absolutely beautiful. Clear skies, clear warm lake water which was PERFECT for swimming and beautiful day and evening weather. I've made the firm decision that the area we camped in is the place I'd like to live permanently the moment I can afford to.

I'll post some photos and video from the trip a little later tonight or tomorrow.

It's been a pretty uneventful week so far and I like it this way. Oh, before I forget last night I had a chance to go by the RudeTV studios and be a guest on Ginger Lynn's show "Dirty Diva's" - if you missed the live broadcast you can watch the archive here:

http://www.rude.com/tv/archive/id/86222

Next week I have quite a bit to do so I'll just sit back for now, enjoy chatting on my webcam and chill :)

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Well, here's an interesting piece of news for those of you out there (like myself) who don't have a TV and therefor are clueless as to the up to date happenings of today's pop culture. It looks like Playboy has crowned it's 50th Anniversary 2009 Playmate of the year, and though they try to soften the facts to make her more "acceptable" to America by noting her ethnicity as her father being Swedish and her mother being a native of Tanzania, the Playmate of the year, Ida Ljungquist, this year is a BLACK GIRL! I am shocked, but then again, maybe I'm not considering that Playboy has always kept up with the political pace. I suppose that Hef thought to himself "Hmmm, well the President of the USA is half white and half African so I suppose I should make the 50th anniversary Playmate something of the like".



I'm very happy for this girl, but I will openly admit, that I am very very very jealous. For doing ONE nude pictorial and possibly Hef, she received $100,000, a new Mazda 6, and a bottle of Patron. I'd settle just for the car and the Patron. Supposedly she was discovered on Rodeo drive in a Bebe store. WTF - I and other women bust their asses in the adult world and get paid chump-change and all this girl has to do is hang out at a mall and she hits the big time? I can't even afford to SHOP at the mall. Either her "discovery" story is fake or she's just got the luck of the Irish - or maybe the Swedish?

Anyways today was relatively uninteresting. I got a call from someone who supposedly has connections for adult print work - I could barely hear the cat on the phone and he didn't give a last name - then he said he'd call me back in 5 mins and never did. Typical industry flakes and weirdos. Then I logged in for webcam shows. Then I logged out. Then I trimmed my hair a little more, and then logged back in for camshows. That was my Sunday - whoopee.

I've gotta figure out how I can get it together financially, it's ridiculous at this point. Someone close to me recently said something to me along the lines of if you don't have it together by 30, then you probably never will. That made me feel really bad because I'm 30 and I definitely don't have it together yet. I don't know if I ever will. To all my blog readers who are parents out there: PLEASE teach your kids at a young age about money, credit, business, etc - my parents are great but money is something that they never educated me about and I think that's why it's always been my biggest problem and issue.

I decided today, that if I am not on solid ground money wise by December, I'm moving out of Los Angeles area. If I can't cut it here, then that's just how it is. Just another lesson learned.



Oh, before I forget, I will be working a booth and "signing" (though I don't know what the hell I'm gonna sign or if anyone would even WANT me to sign anything for them) at Erotica-LA. So if you're in the area, come on by. Debating whether to sport my new short hair look for the event or to throw some extensions back in - we'll see.

I recently came across a porn from Elegant Angel I will definitely have to watch. It's called "Busty Cops on Patrol" - it looks funny as hell (a cross between Cops and Reno 911)), and probably has some killer sex scenes in it as well considering the cast - 2 of my favorite female adult stars are in it in fact: Jada Fire and Shyla Styles). I love the work this studio puts out - I always wanted to be in one of their movies but alas, they've never called to book me. Check out the trailer here.

Well it's about 3:20am and technically Monday, so I'm going to end this cynical blog and get back to my webcam. Later this morning I may reward myself with a swim, there's few things more calming than floating in a pool and looking at the sky.

My encouragement, motivation and inspiration in regards to my adult industry "career" came from a very unlikely source today - my Mother.



My Mom and I are a lot more alike than I generally admit to. I suppose it's because many of the qualities I embody which my Mother and I have "butted heads" about over the years, ironically are the same qualities she embodies as well - and you know what they say: sometimes looking in the mirror is one of the most difficult things to do.

Today I made my traditional weekend call to my mom and she asked me as usual "what's new". In the past I always maneuvered the conversations with my Mother away from myself being that I haven't always been comfortable talking to my mom about working in the adult industry, but as time has passed (especially this and last year), that discomfort has eased and I can speak very openly with all my family about what I have done and do for a living (and being able to be open with my mother, father and rest of the family about my life choices is probably one of the best gifts life has given me).

Anyways I decided to give my mom the complete story as to the release of my first adult feature "Not the Cosby Show XXX" since the release date is only a few weeks away. I conveyed to her that I'm very excited about the release because 1) It's the first and only feature I've ever performed in, 2) It's a bit of a personal movie for me because I had to draw from some very personal experiences in life and face some personal demons in order to get through it acting wise, 3) It's one of the first heavily anticipated adult feature movies that showcases a primarily African-American cast and 4) It will probably help in my website and webcam show sales.



So after a long conversation I told my mom that I'm about done doing adult work with the exception of content for my website and I told her that it's primarily due to my not feeling like I really have a shot at being the "porn star" that I wanted to be due to racial hurdles, the fact that I'm already 30, and the fact that I have really limited "connections". I explained to her about the success of some of the more celebrated "stars" in porn and I told her that I just don't think I'm cut out to be one of those women.

Well, my mom (of all people) said "Why not? Why can't you be a porn superstar like those other women?". Yep. My mom, of all the people in the world, gave me the encouragement today to stop focusing on the negatives and get up, dust myself off, and (yes I am going to say it) - get back on the PORN horse.

Why should I limit myself to only producing content for my website? Why should I listen to "industry professionals" who have said I don't have the personality or looks to be a porn superstar. Why should I listen to the asshole sitting behind a desk at a porn studio who says "gosh, why bother getting into the industry at 30"? Why should I pay ANY attention to the shit that jealous and hateful and spiteful bitches and bastards write about me on adult industry forums? Fuck all that. Why should I be toss away the past year, and struggle while training for massage therapy, when I have - and come June - WILL HAVE a ton of new opportunities presented to me via the release of my first adult feature?

Now don't get me wrong, my Mom's not encouraging me or influencing me to specifically be a pornstar, or to go into any particular occupation for that matter. She's simply the type of person who (like myself) believes that you need to follow your dreams (no matter how crazy or unrealistic they may be) and that once you start something, you should finish it.

So, in conclusion come June, I will most likely be back to shooting some hot porn scenes for both my website AND other studios (God & economy willingly). I'm looking forward to it, and hopefully my agency Type9models will be as well, as if I do get back in the game, I'm planning on making myself and them a good chunk of change so that I can achieve everything in life I've set out to do, from directing my own adult content, to opening a studio to produce high end mainstream media and adult ethnic media/content, and then to one day running my own spa retreat.

I'm still going to be doing my massage therapy training as well (because for whatever reason I am into wellness and healing and massage therapy does tie in with one of my future goals), but I'm following my mom's advice and am going to try my best to get back in the game in a major way, so Monica Foster fans out there - get ready to see a bit of a different Monica than you've seen up to the present. After all "Why not?".

A big thank you to my Mom and Dad. I'm a very lucky girl to have the support of my family and close friends. I've come to learn, not too many people do. Moving from Florida to California alone has been THE most difficult thing I've ever done in my life, and without my family and friend's support I don't think I'd still be pushing forward.

I'm the type of person who was raised to go above and beyond to be helpful and nice to others. As I've aged, and traveled through life's experiences, I've learned that being "nice and kind and helpful" is a good way to live and be - it creates a positive vibe in your surroundings, makes others around you feel good and generally putting out positivity allows life to reflect that positivity right back to you.

However unfortunately there are those in this world who are self serving PIGS who target those who want to do good, and attempt to take advantage of the "nice kind and helpful" people. The these assholes have the nerve to try to guilt trip "nice kind and helpful" people when such people finally have enough sense to see through their maniuplations.

I'm rambling about such PIG people today because I had to tell off someone with an ego the size of Texas today. Truthfully, it was very draining energy wise, but I'm glad I did because I'm very focused on being successful this year and I don't want anyone or anything weighing me down.

I hope my blog readers enjoy the above photo. It's from a set I took this afternoon. I love having short hair again. I will not be wearing a weave again for quite some time. Oh , and for all you fashionistas out there - the bikini? It's by: TARGET (12.99 for the top and 12.99 for the bottoms) - you can catch me in it this Memorial Day weekend.

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Today is a typical bright, sunny and low humidity Los Angeles day (and I'll tell you, it's SO motivational to wake up to so many days like this). I'll be doing webcam and website work until the late evening so I won't be actually going out to "enjoy the day", but it's nice to look at the window and know that it's THERE.

I spent a nice couple of hours by the pool yesterday after getting some website templates completed for a friend of mine's site I'm building. Then in the evening I was scheduled to participate in the "Not the Cosby's XXX" commentary along with Will Ryder (director), Misty Stone (Denise) and Thomas Ward (Cliff). It was good to see Will, Misty and Thomas again - I actually hadn't seen any of the cast in quite some time.

Though I'm not going to say much in this blog about the contents of the movie itself (as it should be a surprise), it is FANTASTIC! Everything in the movie is far above the typical "porn bar". From the truly comedic (and slightly ironic) writing, to the constancy with the era it is staged in, to the wardrobe and set design, to the video quality (composition and lighting), to the editing, to the casting, to the actual ACTING (Misty Stone, Thomas Ward, T-Reel, and Tyler Knight REALLY stand out), to the quality and energy of the sex scenes - EVERYTHING in this movie is great. I haven't seen EVERY porn spoof, but of all of the ones I've seen, this one is THE BEST. Oh, and I'm not just saying that because I'm in it - well - maybe I am - you'll have to buy it and see it for yourself :)

Not the Cosby's XXX is being touted as becoming the "most popular interracial sex movie ever". Well if so, that's great, because I'm beginning to wonder if interracial sex porns are a gauge as to how "America" views the acceptability of interracial relationships. Many people are unaware of this, but within the porn industry there is a certain "stigma" attached to a Caucasian performer, working with an African-American performer.

Many Caucasian women AND men in the business specifically request not to work in the "interracial market" and if you read some of the adult industry forums like www.xxxporntalk.com you'll start to see pretty quickly that many Caucasian performers, directors, studio owners, etc have a very negative view and outlook on African-Americans - I personally feel this mentiality has nothing to do with my ethnicity's "sexual or hygienic practices", but that this negative out lash has more to do with the attacker's feeling of self inadequacy.

It's actually very disappointing to learn that many agent's feel their Caucasian performer's value will "go down" by him or her working with African-Americans. I suppose this way of thinking has been a primary factor as to why I will be very rarely (if ever) shooting any adult scenes for any other website or DVD with the exceptions of those I put out independently.

I'm actually starting to wonder if race relations are truly getting better with time, or worse with time...especially in recent times. I have a friend on the east coast that I speak with regularly - she works as an exotic dancer. She's currently in NC and has had one hell of a time finding a club to work in. She's very attractive with a great body. Being that she's a chocolate brown African-American woman however, 3 of the major clubs in the area have turned her down for work. 1 club in particular had the hostess tell my friend that the manager wasn't available, but then when 2 more (Caucasian) girls came in to audition, he was magically available.

I suggested to my friend that she allow me to interview her for my website: www.redtback.com so that we can document the names of these clubs and her experiences. The adult entertainment loving public NEEDS TO KNOW.

The longer that I'm officially in the "porn business", the more I'm understanding why you don't have that many "upscale" or "non-ghetto" African-American women bothering with the business.

I was contacted recently by an "industry verteran" who inquired as to whether I would be interested in being booked for an hour long fetish shoot which would pay a rate that is FAR below even the "minimum" industry standard rates. I wrote back to this individual and explained that I would need a bit more money. This person BLASTED me with a reply/retort which ended in the typical phrase "I can get girls of your TYPE off the street all day for this money but I figured I'd offer the job to you". I say that this phrase is "typical", because I've heard it 3 times from various "established" yet broke porn directors (and I strongly suggest that no one buys the DVD series "Black Cheerleader Tryouts" because the director of this series has used this phrase with me).

I feel like this, if the clients of these directors and studio owners just want ANY black woman, then yea, PLEASE people, find a girl "off the street", but the truth is, that I, and other black women in this business who have made it into the "high-end" porns simply are NOT "street girls" , so yea, while the skin color may be the same as your 100 dollar whores, it's not really the skin color that your clients are after...

Anyways at present, I'm only taking on a few select adult projects that really appeal to me (am LOVING working with DT wrestling) and am producing original content for my own network of websites. I'm very happy with this choice and actually have decided to take Monica Foster into a bit more of a "softcore" and "mild erotic" arena.

The showtime audition I mentioned in a previous blog, I decided to cancel - after reading the script I realized right away that the part was not for me. Not only did the characted role not have a name other than "female worker" but it also had me acting in a way and saying things that I was ENTIRELY not comfortable with. Yes - acting is acting, but as I mature, I'm finding that only doing things in life that I REALLY feel good about doing and want to do is all that's important.

Well I've been on a solid camshow schedule for about a month now and I feel good about it. I like being on a routine. I'll be on cam a bit today and then later tonight so I'll see u all online!

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It's only about 3:45pm and I've already had a pretty full day. This morning I had 2 wrestling matches with a company I work with as a "sexy female wrestler" from time to time called DT Wrestling. Whew! Working with DT is a workout every time. I love these peeps.

Today my opponent was miss Akira - I'll post some photos of the match. Actually if any of you guys want to see me wrestle you can always request a custom match from the company featuring yours truly :)



Looks like the lil wayne music video I was in is out. I'm only in the video for about 1 second towards the end (pause the video at 4:33 and look at the bottom left of the screen - I'm wearing a pink, purple, black and white dress that ties at the neck and I'm dancing by the car). I'll take a screen shot of where I am and circle myself later :)

Lil Wayne Feat Young Money - Every Girl / NEW
by PeteRock

Looks like this Tuesday I have an audition for recurring character in a mainstream series set to air on the Showtime so wish me luck :)

Today at 2pm (PST) I had my 3rd weekly Club Monica members webcam show for the week (yep, Club Monica members get 3 free 1 hour shows a week!). After my nap I'll be on cam tonight to TTYL!