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Today was a rather introspective broadcast of Monica @ Home on www.MonicaAtHome.com - I will post a few pieces of it to my youtube account for the website at some point.

One thing I'd like to clear up is the following: No, I do not have HIV / AIDS.

Someone in the chat room today of my show decided to question and/or assume that as to the reason why I'm not doing scenes currently. All you have to do is read my blog to figure out that the reasons I stopped shooting, with the primary reason being that I needed a break to really take some time to figure a few things out.

As many of you who read my blog are aware of, I'm currently going through a major bout of self reassessment, reevaluation and discovery. I have the potential, ability and opportunity to take my life in quite a few directions right now, and as my views on what really matter (to me) shift, I'm coming to some conclusions as to what I most likely will decide to do with myself, which would actually have scared, the past, less evolved "version" of the woman who created "Monica Foster".

The woman I was, wasn't scared of many things, but she did fear one person in particular extensively. The woman who looked back at her in the mirror.

I had a thought recently that subsided, soothed and eliminated that fear. It was a bit spiritual in nature, but then again - what ISN'T spiritual to a degree.

I thought:

Maybe God and all those of God (good) aren't really on a spiritual battle field fighting Lucifer (evil). Maybe God isn't even the embodiment of "good". Maybe God is actually the battlefield itself, the sky above the field, the platform itself all the activity is occurring on.

That thought was my most recent breakthrough.



I've accused many of being sociopaths. I know the definition and traits of such a person very well, mainly because quite a few of those traits are elements I've struggled to suppress for years. I'm not saying I'm a sociopath myself...sociopaths tend to lie (which I no longer waste the time and energy doing) and are unable to feel and I DO feel (but a bit differently than most do). Plus, if I was a textbook sociopath, I most likely wouldn't be writing this blog - and I definitely wouldn't have enough of a conscience to have tried to correct behavior that I'd been taught was "wrong".

I remember as a child watching a kid on the playground fall off a slide and crack his head open. I laughed. When I think back on this I still laugh because the way in which the kid fell was VERY funny to me. My teacher saw me do this and I remember getting in trouble.

There were quite a few natural reactions I displayed as a child that got me in trouble. Many around me in my youth put in a tremendous amount of time and effort to alter my way of being. Eventually my true nature was successfully suppressed.

I haven't been my true self since I was around 7 years old, and I certainly haven't been happy.

I've decided to go back to being my true self.

Why am I being so open about all of this? Well, because I don't care if anyone likes me or not anymore, and I don't care to try to embody any shred of "normalcy" anymore. I'm also putting it "out there" to certain people, that they may want to think twice before attempting to cross me from this day forth.

ps: I received an email recently questioning whether I'm bipolar or if I have a personality disorder. I don't - I've just held back my true nature for a little too long.

My show Monica @ Home (www.MonicaAtHome.com) will be back tomorrow. I've needed to skip it the past couple of days due to needing a bit of time to myself.

I've actually gotten a lot of work done over the past few days and am returning back to my productive and creative self - actually a better version of my past self due to my recent emotionally challenging event which has allowed me to grow, mature and open doors to my true inner being which I was initially aware of, but allowed to remain closed due to fears.

I read a cool blog by Miss Julie Meadows in regards to another blog about the difference between a "mindless bimbo" who does porn because she feels she has no other choice versus an educated woman who chooses to enter porn knowingly (though she may be more naive about the realities of the porn industry than she's aware of).

When it comes to choosing to do porn, or choosing to do anything in life - even when you make a conscious "choice" to do it, often times you're a victim of circumstance that brought you to making a choice between doing one thing, or another thing to begin with.

I definitely wasn't a super broke crack whore when I "chose" to enter the porn industry, but I definitely wasn't wealthy when it comes to what my levels of self esteem or self worth were. Porn definitely hasn't made me rich monetarily in the end, but it HAS granted me great wealth in the 2 areas I initially lacked (self esteem and a sense of self worth), via the people I've met, the circumstances I've found myself in and path it's put me on in really taking a good hard look at exactly who and what I am (even the parts I never wanted to and was AFRAID to look at before).

I feel very good right now. Great in fact. I've wasted a lot of time waiting for things, situations and people that never existed. I'm moving forward now with my life and creative projects with the strength of "vengeance".

Goes to show once again, when you get knocked down, all you gotta do is collect yourself, stand up, dust yourself off, and take a step in a better direction.

Well it's a bright and sun shiny Monday afternoon and I feel as though I'm getting my mind back on track and have a good picture as to what I want to do over the next 2 months (which is to save as much $ as possible), and where I want to be at the end of that time frame (a good distance away from California - I may come back in a few years, but definitely not to Los Angeles).

Last week was a difficult week emotionally, but it ended on a good note. I worked for DTWrestling.com 2 days in a row, which was a LOT of fun. I'm starting to think that I should have wound up in professional female wrestling rather than porn. I'm more of an action hero type of girl.

Sunday I checked in with all of you, my Monica Foster peeps, for my 1 hour weekly webcam show. A big thanks to everyone who stopped in to say hello.

I'm over the guy who chose to date for the past year and a half. I'm just not into being lied to, being deceived, being left in the dark, or manipulative mind games any longer. There were good times in the beginning yes, but I've come to the conclusion that I'm simply not willing to deal with a someone who stays in close contact with ex's - especially when it is for monetary reasons (or otherwise for that matter). It's just too weird for me to imagine why a MAN would need to borrow money from a WOMAN, when he's able bodied and capable enough to EARN it himself (even though it might take time).

I suppose due to money being such an element of control in my youth, it's not an issue I want to deal with in relationships in my adult years. It took about 4 bottles of wine to work through my pain, followed by a solid day of puking my guts out to cleanse my spirit of that man, but it's over and done with now and I feel better.

Actually on my vomiting/hangover day I read the book The Betrayal Bond: Breaking Free of Exploitive Relationships - that book gave me specific definition to what my personal issues with many of my past relationships have stemmed from and granted me a major degree of enlightenment.

This link: http://www.angriesout.com/family1.htm also gave me a fresh perspective and will help me to not do a repeat of the past ever again.

At 31 years of age, I'm finding myself entering a new chapter of life, and a new era of simply "being". I've finally come to terms with the fact that I really do have the power to shape my life and surroundings to be whatever I want them to be (this "Monica Foster" endeavor is a pretty good example), however I don't have the power to shape other people to be what I want them to be - and to even try is a waste of time and energy.

I'm done with trying to be anyone other than exactly who I am (and who I truly am, is MANY things on MANY levels) - and I'm over allowing anyone else to try to mold me into who they want me to be rather than who I am. I suppose I could sum all of this up, by saying that my tolerance level for BS has lowered completely to 0.

In quite a few instances prior to moving to Los Angeles, and post moving to Los Angeles, I've only allowed myself to see what I wanted to see - and not what truly was or is. I have a feeling that many of us in this life have that problem at times, but what makes that such a dangerous problem to have, is when people around you are AWARE that you're only seeing what you want to see, because often in such a situation such people will exploit you for what you don't see. Such people are sick and usually sociopathic. Unfortunately Los Angeles is infested which such types of people, but hey wouldn't it be? People with such traits would gravitate toward this place being that the entertainment industry is where such people can thrive. I didn't know or see before, but now I do.

I'm not completely dissapointed with Los Angeles. I needed to come here I believe in order to open the door to learn more about exactly who I am and what I want and what I'm meant to do with my time here on earth. Los Angeles right now isn't a healthy place for me to be, I need to be somewhere I can be more in touch with nature and more able to help others who aren't sure what path in life to take.

Here's a few movie recommendations for those of you with a Netflix account: The Messenger: The Story of Joan of Arc , He's on My Mind , Confessions of an Action Hero.

Well, that's about all I have to write about today. I will be on webcam all day today and tonight and the rest of the week. Hope to see you online soon :)

Today I got into it with adult movie superstar Jada Fire...over at DT Wrestling!

As some of you know, along with being a webcam girl, adult star, photographer, writer and online media developer I also am a female wrestler.

Today I had a match with the hot, sexy and extremely cool miss Jada Fire - if you're someone who hasn't had the chance to see to sexy black women try to beat each other's asses in quite some time, you will NOT want to pass up watching this match.

Check it out in a week or so when it's posted on DTwrestling.com - and if you want to see me wrestle any of the other lovely ladies who are on the site, make sure you order a custom match!

Below are a couple of photos from when Akira Lane and I were in the ring:

Well, I'm officially single again and I'm GLAD. 2010 should wind up being a fun, exciting and productive year being that I foresee myself bouncing back from this most recent relationship very quickly.

Last night was the last straw with my now, ex-boyfriend. I suppose this ending has been in the works for quite some time. I had as much patience with this man as humanly possible being that he has a severe aversion to commitment, has substance abuse problems, is a bit too close for comfort in my eyes with his ex-girlfriend (a VERY famous petite pornstar ironically of whom he had a relationship with for a few years), and is overall a whiney, self centered little bitch of a man (at 40 something years old) who tends to prefer women who are FAR too young for him (which is probably why he is a regular cameraman for a "Barely Legal" type series - how appropriate...).

I suppose I believed that with enough patience, understanding, and forgiveness eventually he'd have a breakthrough and realize "wow, this is a real person who actually loves me. Let me stop being a douche bag".

Wrong.

I should have known better after being cheated on, lied to multiple times, and just overall being treated like shit. I figured he'd never had a real relationship before so I wanted to give him a chance. A part of the reason I stopped shooting content with other adult studios was because I wanted to be 100% monogamous with him. I actually find it comical now that he thought it was better that I stopped performing being that all he's evidently attracted to are pornstars (funnily this douche bag told me the last time we almost broke up that he wanted to try dating someone totally outside of the adult industry who'd never worked porn - LOLOLOLOLOL - unless he totally lies to the woman - or girl in his case considering he can't deal with anyone over the age of 31 - there's no fucking way ANY woman outside of porn on this PLANET would have ANYTHING to do with his ass). I loved this man, but I will never date a person like this again.

So last night I find out that my ex-bf is apparently much closer to his ex-gf (the mega famous petite porn star that I mentioned earlier) than I initially was aware of - so close that they most likely are in bed together quite often, because apparently this girl is willing to lend this fool $20K to qualify for a home loan.

Anyways finding out that my ex-bf IS that fucking close to his ex-gf to feel comfortable enough to ask for a loan of that magnitude was enough of a kick in the gut to finally open my eyes enough to realize that I don't need to be with that man. Money is evidently more important to him than real relationships.

I essentially am worth less than $20K to this person and I as his current girlfriend, meant less to him than his ex-gf who is just a "good friend". Amazing to find all that out after over a year and a half.

I suppose a guy such as my ex-bf, a man who always takes the easiest road in life and has no problems using people as much as possible, especially women (being that he see's women totally as sex objects - I suppose being a porn cameraman for over 15 years will do that to you), is much better off only surrounding himself with people who are as superficial and shallow as himself - and that's certainly not me.

I think my ex-bf should get back with his ex-gf. Evidently they're both dirty and nasty people who are totally into themselves and who will do or fuck anyone or anything for money and/or to get ahead in life. Sad.

I now understand how men without much money feel when they lose their girlfriend to a guy who's more financially secure. I didn't have enough money for my ex's taste.

I'm glad that now I know the truth and I'm glad that I can now move forward in life.

MonicaAtHome.com is officially in full swing so for those of you who need a dose of Monica Foster, adult industry news and gossip, adult industry online technology happenings along with bits and pieces of whatever else is on my mind then tune in each weekday at 6pm PST and 9pm PST daily on www.MonicaAtHome.com or www.BlogTV.com/People/MonicaFoster

03-11-2010 part 1

03-11-2010 part 2

03-11-2010 part 3



Archives from the show can be found on Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/MonicaAtHome

www.MightyAfrodite.com will DEFINITELY be launched later this month now that my other projects are running smoothly so get ready for something different :)

Tonight while most of young Hollywood is out hitting the bars, clubs, lounges, restaurants and house parties, I'm at home taking a breather relaxing. Today was a VERY active day for me, but an awesomely productive day as well.

This morning I was up bright and early. I've actually been waking up quite early for the past few weeks now because I've really been enjoying my morning runs and hikes (eventually my hikes will be documented on http://www.modernhikerwoman.com as I explore more trails), however I was up particularly early this morning because I was booked to work for DT-Wrestling - a company that features sexy topless female wrestlers kicking ass. Nope - it's not porn - just sexy bad ass entertainment - check them out:

http://www.DTwrestling.com

So this evening at 6pm PST / 9pm EST I decided to broascast my first segment of "Monica Foster @ Home" - check it out on my BLOGTV channel http://www.blogtv.com/People/MonicaFoster

"Monica Foster @ Home" is all about my life as an adult entertainer, adult entertainment online technology, adult industry happenings and gossip, adult and mainstream movie reviews, dating, relationships, and just life in general. You don't want to miss it!

Initially I was going to make the broadcast just once a week, but screw that. I had so much fun chatting in a non-nude relaxed setting that I've decided to make this a DAILY broadcast! That's right - all my fans and friends can now visit with me 5 days a week at 6pm in a FREE chat on Blog TV! I'll probably wind up reducing the show to 3 times a week in a few months, but for now I have a ton to talk about so why not start strong out the gate.

http://www.blogtv.com/People/MonicaFoster


Monica Foster @ Home pt 1

Have questions about working in porn, adult entertainment industry technology, dating, romance, or just how to survive in this crazy world?

Chat with me live for free on my new BlogTV.com show
"Monica Foster @ Home"
every weekday at 6pm PST / 9pm EST!

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I just realized a day or so ago that the Xbiz awards are not only in my city, but also only a few blocks from where I live (how convenient!) so I will definitely be attending.

As of current it looks as though I will be showing up with 2 friends, so I have a feeling I'm going to have a good time.

Now the big question that has been on my mind in regards to this event...at least until this morning was: "What should I wear?"

Well, being that it's just one night (and only a few hours at that) I'm definitely not buying anything new - that would be a waste - plus I have a ton of cute dresses already.

I've noticed that many porn talents go all out with fancy crystal encrusted dresses that look like they should be worn to the Golden Globes or the Oscars. Such dresses are pretty yes - but honestly I don't think they're appropriate...in fact I'll go as far as to say they look silly, stuffy, pretentious and come off as looking pretty lame and boring. These are the PORN awards we're talking about so why show up trying to look like a mainstream Julia Roberts type actress?



Being that I've been watching a lot of Hentai lately (adult / pornographic anime/japanimation), I've decided that I should wear a Hentai inspired outfit. I have one dress in particular which is PERFECTLY Hentai themed, sexy as hell AND comfortable so I'm wearing it. Actually considering that the only place I really could even wear this particular dress would be either this awards show, a fetish ball or a strip club as a dancer - I feel that I'd better wear it while I have the chance. I pulled some accessories to go with it this morning, so I'm all set now for Wednesday night!

I won't exactly be doing a Lady Gaga number with this dress, but it will most likely be a bit different from what I anticipate most other porn talent to wear :)



I will take some video and photos of the event to share with you all Thursday.

See you on webcam!

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I'm technically writing this blog Friday morning, but according to my internal clock - it's still Thursday night.

I pulled an all nighter tonight/this morning because I was really excited and anxious to post online my most recent video interview with an incredible up and coming Alternative Scene model and Stage Dancer that I recently met named Tiffany Truth.

Tiffany works in a very interesting niche of entertainment. She's definitely not a hardcore pornstar, but she's not exactly vanilla mainstream either. She's one of the few entertainers who manages to walk the tightrope between the adult and mainstream, and I have a feeling if she can maintain her balancing act, she'll wind up incredibly successful.

I had the opportunity yesterday to photograph this interesting young diva (who could possibly teach Tyra Banks a thing or 2 about posing), and sit down to do an in depth interview with her as to who she is, where she's been and where she's striving to go...

It's so refreshing to come across a kindrid spirit who doesn't believe in limitations and who's strong enough to follow their dreams without holding back.

Enjoy :) (if the vids don't show up - view the interview on http://www.youtube.com/MonicaFosterOnline







More interviews such as this one will be coming soon on a new branch of the "World of Monica Foster" on www.MonicaAtHome.com

I had a GREAT time on LaTalkRadio.com 's "Unvanilla" last night - a show hosted by a good friend of mine Harley Fire and Baadmaster - if you'd like to listen to the archive from the show last night click here to download it.

This weekend was very "balanced". I managed to get a lot accomplished in all areas of my life. If I can manage to make the remainder of 2010 (and I'll take it even further - if the remainder of my life) mirror this past weekend, I'll wind up feeling and being a very happy and successful woman.

Saturday late afternoon I went on a hike with my BF - this was the first long hike I've been on since having that terrible flu (which actually may have been a blessing in disguise being that I don't have any real desire to smoke cigs anymore). It felt great to get the blood flowing and the fresh air in my lungs. I'm very fortunate to live close to Runyon Canyon park - it's a really great hiking trail.

Saturday evening my BF and I had a really nice night on the town - it began with a few tequila shots and closed with a fantastic modern (and tipsy) Thai dinner. 2 thumbs up yum :)

Tomorrow I'll be meeting with a couple of other women I know for a morning hike. Totally looking forward to it - getting in a good workout is great solo, but it's even better in the company of good friends.

This week I'll be working on my websites as usual along with being live on my webcam. I'm very excited about a couple of the new projects I'm launching this month and judging by the emails I've been receiving from those of you who are my fans and friends, you're excited as well :)

One of the projects I'm launching which has a focus on ethnic women in porn I feel will be very well received. I'm a little disappointed that I wasn't able to get more participation in the project from a few of the ethnic pornstars I approached - especially considering the amount of traffic it would have driven to their websites and such. I guess some people just don't think long term, or simply don't think at all. It's sad to see how so many woman in the porn industry live their lives as a common street walker listening to their suitcase pimp boyfriends or "managers" who don't have their best interest in mind at all.

I really don't have respect for anyone in (or out of) the porn industry who thinks being a "pornstar" means having an outdated website (or no website at all) and being a bargain basement hooker most of the month. That type of lifestyle shows no real effort at all, and basically says "Hey, I'm lazy as fuck and I've totally given up on trying to achieve any dreams I may have had or ANYTHING worth while for that matter".

Anyways, to end this blog on a bright note, I'm very excited about the new IPad. What an incredible computing device (and for such a great price!!!!!!). As soon as they are available for purchase, I will be getting one.

Today I feel about 80% back to normal from the flu. It's so good to be able to get back into my groove of working again.

Part of what actually kept my spirits up while I was ill, was my newfound interest in "Blaxsploitation" films. Coffy is my new hero (sorry Batman and Spiderman, you have to take 2nd and 3rd place now). If you're unfamiliar with what Blaxspoitation films are, check out the video below:



Pam Grier's work will be influencing my newest project "Mighty Afrodite" a bit.

So I'll be heavily on webcam this week for all of you out there who enjoying stopping by virtually and saying hello :)

I just found out that this Saturday I will be interviewed for a documentary on the adult industry, so I'm very excited about that. Then next Tuesday I'll be on a friend of mine's radio show - I'll post more details about that later.

Well back to work - I've got the techno tracks blasting and I feel locked into the matrix (aka my apartment), so see ya'll online!!!!!!!!!

Slowly but surely I'm getting over this nightmare of a flu I came down with over the past few days. I'm so grateful to be feeling halfway normal again. I'm also grateful that I was able to take care of myself in this situation.

As I wrote in my previous blog, this flu really made me realize that I need to take steps in only surrounding myself with people I can count on when the going gets tough.

When you live alone, falling ill can be VERY scary. Wednesday morning I woke up and knew that I was catching a cold - little did I know that it was going to go WAY beyond "common cold" into the full blown flu.

I know some of you reading this may say "oh boo hoo - little miss overly dramatic got the flu" - well in my case getting a cold, or even the flu is actually a very big deal because I'm mildly asthmatic.

Luckily I'm not severely asthmatic - mainly thanks to my mother who does not believe in traditional medical thought or practices (I actually hate even defining myself as "asthmatic" because just about every person I've ever known who's had asthma has been a whiney overly coddled little prick - I think my mother - who's mildly asthmatic as well felt the same).

Growing up, rather than telling me that I COULDN'T over exert myself my mother felt that if I didn't develop my lungs as much as possible through sports and other activities that required a lot of cardio type activity, that I'd be reliant on inhalers and such my entire life. I think that she was right considering that I rarely have had asthma attacks after the age of about 8 AND that I went on to hold the district record for the mile run for about 2 years in Broward County when I was a sophomore in highschool (I have a lot of endurance and yes I am bragging).

Asthma has never effected anything I've ever wanted to do in life which is great. I only realize that it's there when I catch a cold or a dreaded flu. Even being only mildly asthmatic when I get the flu, I can have severe breathing issues. It's rare for me to have too many problems, but if I don't watch it, my airways can become constricted enough for me have an asthma attack, which is not fun (of course it probably doesn't help that I'm a light smoker, but hey, no one's perfect. I have a certain degree of stress, but I am working on quitting. Actually after these past couple of hellish days, I can confidently state that I will never smoke again.)

The first day I was ill, I had a shit load of chest congestion and I felt a fever coming on, so I went into self preservation mode - I got to the store to pick up my "cold and flu kit" supplies (see my previous blog if you're curious as to what my kit consists of) before I knew things would get too bad. I got home, set up a big pot on the stove of water, and brought it to a boil to get some steam started.

As the day went on, I got worse and worse and at one point considered going to the emergency room, but didn't (it would have been pointless considering the wait I'd have to deal with - plus I knew no doctor could offer a "quick fix" - I just needed to ride it out). I knew from the past my best bet was to do steam inhalation treatments for about 30 mins at a time every 2 hours most of the day - so I did.

When I wasn't at the stove with a towel tented over my head inhaling steam, I was either drinking a ton of water & cranberry juice, with shots of cider vinegar (Sounds odd I'm sure but this flushes out your system of whatever is making you sick.) OR sitting in a tub of hot water with a little Vicks disolved in to help sweat out the germs (and get some more steam into my pipes to losen up the congestion).

Between doing all that and finding the energy to cook up some chicken soup with onion and garlic to eat, I was pretty spent. I couldn't really sleep, because I was having such a hard time breathing so I turned on Coast to Coast AM and the Phil Hendrie show and worked on my computer between doing everything I needed to do to get well.

This flu took me on a journey of chills - then hot sweats - then chills again from my fever, coughing fits and dizziness.

At one point I broke down and cried. Yep. Then I prayed. Mainly because I was so damn tired but I couldn't sleep because I couldn't breathe properly. I very felt alone and scared. I rarely feel really "scared" but these past couple of days I sure as hell did. Thank God for my little dog Panda - she helped me keep it together.

Finally after close to 18 hours of not being able to lay down due to not being able to fucking breath without either sitting in the tub or having my face over a pot of steaming water, the congestion subsided a bit and I was able to sleep sitting up for a few hours.

From Thursday to yesterday afternoon I felt just as bad, but I kept up with the same routine and drank a TON of liquids and ate nothing but soup, garlic and onions. After a nap yesterday (Friday) I woke up and felt a little better. I decided that was the time to de-germify my apartment.

I washed my linens, did my dishes, cleaned my bathroom, took out all my snot rags, and washed my towels. After doing that and doing another steam, sweat out, fluid flush and then feeding round I needed another nap. When I woke up I touched base over the phone with a good friend back in Florida. Then I worked on my computer a bit more and around 3am today I finally felt a million times better. Good enough to do some webcam shows.

The photos posted are from this mornings shows. I'm not 100% yet but at least I'm not dead.

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Well from what I've heard (and of course I've checked weather.com on this) it will be rainy most of the coming week. Yes, for many Californians this totally throws them off but not me! I'm from south east Florida where a category 3 hurricane doesn't stop you from going clubbing so I welcome the rain here in dry ass, but beautiful southern Califronia.

Last night was a fun night of webcamming, as will be tonight and the remainder of my weekend, however my boyfriend got me out of the house today to Venice beach which was a ton of fun. I picked up (rather my bf bought me) one of those cute floppy sweater caps (I'll post a photo), which I plan on wearing well into the spring, and of course if I make it up in to the mountains to see the snow this season. It's amazing how something as simple as the right hat, can add to your life :)

As many of you, my readers, fans and friends know, Monica Foster has pretty much wrapped up her career as a porn talent, but will continue as a webcam girl, online "personality" and hopefully adult content producer/director. The woman who created "Monica Foster" I feel (even though I'm tooting my own horn a bit but justifiably so) has a pretty bright future. However, I can't stop to think as to where other porn talents will wind up considering this industry "slow down" which has almost turned into a "stand still".

I had a conversation about this with someone recently, and I suppose as a porn talent, though you options may be limited in some individuals views, if you're a forward thinker you options are "limitless".

As I've said in the past the most important thing is to do as an entertainer of any sort is to have your web presence going on. The web really is the gateway to the world, and even though the US is in economic crisis, other countries are not, and with the web, you can reach markets in other countries all from the comfort of your own home. I suppose what separates a "limited" mindset from a "limitless" mindset is simply a person's drive and motivation.

www.MightyAfrodite.com is very close to launching. Ms. Afrodite will be bringing up a lot of subject matter that I wanted to touch on as Monica Foster, but couldn't. Why? Well you'll have to check out the site to find out.

One thing in particular I will be touching on will be what it REALLY is to be a woman in the porn industry: the mindsets and motivations behind what propels someone to take the leap, along with the motivations of those behind the scenes who push those who become the true "porn stars".

One of the primarily reasons I love the porn industry, is the psychology which is behind it. The psychology of the performers, those who work behind the scenes AND the viewers.

I've noticed the MAIN problem with porn, and why it's "dying" is due to the "porn powers that be" not allowing the public to really get to know the performers. I'll tell you right now why that is right now: FEAR. Think of the "porn powers that be" as being the most ANGRY and BITTER people at your highschool reunion. Yes - I said it.

Most performers are kept in a "dream state" , whether it be by those around them blowing smoke up their ass or pushing powder up their noses. VERY FEW porn performers do what they do for reasons that they won't regret. I'm bold enough to state that I am one of the few. www.MightyAfrodite.com will explain why.

I'm under the impression that those that feed off the talent in the entertainment industry as a whole have the goal of keeping their talents/clinets from ever realizing how successful they truly are. Most performers have no clue as to how much power they actually possess or how "famous" they really are until they sober up, look around and find they own nothing from their efforts. It's sad.

I thought I knew a lot as an exotic dancer, I thought I knew even more as a webcam girl and then I thought I knew it all as a "pornstar". Since making the choice to stop performing as a porn actress I've learned so much more that I'm surprised my concept of reality hasn't shattered. Funny thing is that I've realized that the vast amount of info I've stumbled upon in reality is just a very narrow glimpse as to the true "big picture".

Anyways, I have enough insight and material to keep me rambling on about the realities of porn, sexuality, relationships, and life for ages. Buckle up bitches because 2010 is gonna be a wild, fun and eye opening ride.