Saturday, August 04, 2007

What a week. I've been very productive lately as far as my creativity is concerned but I'm still not seeing much of a financial return. I'm so tired of being broke. I got all my bills paid last month so I'm proud of myself but I have no extra. Hell, I want some new clothes and a dining room and bedroom set.
It's so funny, yesterday I went to the beach with a friend of mine and his friend. My friend was telling me about how he's tired of supporting girls he's in relationships with and his friend said the same. Hell - WHO are these girls and HOW are they able to get these guys to do this? Not once have a dated a guy who's wanted to support me. Then again maybe I exude too much strength. And actually when I think about it some more, I'd rather get by on my own anyways than having to pander to some guy.
I guess what I really want is for a guy to not support me, but to spoil me with gifts, trips, etc. Hell if he wanted to pay off a few of my bills that would be nice too. I don't need total support but some help would be nice.
Last night I went off durring my RED Tback broadcast. Yet another guest didn't call in as scheduled and I blew up. I initially created the show to be a sounding board for women in the industry but due to lack of interest and support from my intended audience, now the show will cater more toward the male clientel base of gentlemen's clubs.
I've gotta get MFexclusive going.
I'm getting a little sick of trying to get this Sheerelegance project together. I don't feel like I'm getting enough input/support from the company itself. We'll see what happens.
This weekend I'm not leaving my apartment. I'm just going to make as much money off my cam shows as possible. Plus I'm PMSing like crazy.
I was contacted via myspace by a new artist who has a song out called Pole Position . It's a cool song, I would like to have the artist as a guest on RED Tback.
So to close this blog, I know I'm having a hard time now but things will get better. Hell, I'm hot and I'm creative so I'm bound to achive some level of success. I'm just going to keep working on letting go of the past (hypocritical family, ex's, past friends, etc). I'm gonna use Halle Berry as an inspiration. At one time she was homeless and look at how far she's gone. That's amazing to think about. I'll tell you this, I bet all the assholes she dated in the past who did her wrong feel like complete idiots now. They are complete idiots. Go Halle.