Official Blog of Monica Foster

This is a very personal posting but what the fuck, I'm drunk and I doubt anyone important or noteworthy reads this so who cares.
I'm a nicotine junkie. I'm still free of the drug but tonight after drinking some wine I got desperate and actually rummaged through all my trash to try to find a cigerette. I didn't and coudln't find one so I'm still smoke free and I'm happy for that, yet I'm depressed.
I'm so alone. Sometimes I feel like killing myself. My parents are so ashamed of me cause I'm naked online, even though it's how I earn a living. My sister doesn't really speak to me anymore. I know she's busy with her kid but she could call but she doesn't.Sometimes I just want to die. No one loves me. No one ever has.
I don't feel sorry for myself. just very alone.
anyways i'm going to try my best to just keep going with my personal projects as trivial and insiginificant as they may be.