Thursday, September 27, 2007

I've finally regained communication with everyone in my life who's most important to me - my mom, dad and sister - so I'm really happy. You really don't realize how much your family means to you until they're not immediately in your life. I'm not going to let that breakdown of communication happen again, regardless of how weird I'm viewed as being :)

Speaking of being viewed as "weird" - it's amazing how what you do for a living truly is how you're defined as a person in our little "western world" society and mentality.
Lately I've acused (much more frequently now than just a few months ago) that I try to justify my work as "art", "a project", "a career" or "an endeavor" in order to make myself feel better about "just doing porn". Sorry but if that's how you see what I've created and built for myself - then your mind is small, and could probably be shattered at any moment. Before you twist, turn and fold up my actions into a neat little box, consider this:

The truth is that nothing can REALLY be totally defined. Why? Because everyone has a totally different perspective and experience in this universe.

I've been thinking lately that I need to put together a required reading and/or viewing list of books and movies that a person should have to go through before they are allowed to get to know me. On that list would be:
The Guru
The Girl Next Door
The Way of the Shaman
Highlander (the entire televsion series)

In other news, I'm going to put more effort into RED TBack again (, even if it's just sticking to my 10pm Tuesday and Friday broadcasting schedule. I managed to do a broadcast this past Friday, and it actually turned out pretty well. I and my co-host harmony had a good convo on the air about maintaining control of your website and if you're planning on getting into working as a cam girl/guy.
I think I'm going to take my cam girl persona into the "fetish" scene - not int a major hardcore way, but hell, I think it'll be fun to try being a "cyber/webcam dom" for a while. I'm already naturally bossy so it's not too much of a stretch. Plus my friend Amanda has given me some positive encouragement to at least try this angle :)
I discovered a new clothing trend this morning that I didn't know about before: Cyberwear - check out this link: and click on the "cyberwear" subcategory - really cool stuff. I think I'm going to implement this style into my look for a while.
Later today I think I'm going to cut my hair into that Jenna Jameson/Posh Spice cut. Gotta stay current - ya know?
Well I'm still smoke free and I'm feeling great. Next week I will start a regular workout schedule.