Saturday, December 12, 2009

Tonight when I stopped by CVS to pick up a bottle of Arbor Mist I had an interesting conversation with one of the checkout girls who I see and speak with on many occasions when I stop in that particular store.

She was on a "new love" high tonight - very sweet. She was really excited because she finally met someone out here in Hollywood who treats her "like a princess". She went on to tell me how all of her friends thought her new man looked just like "Lestat" from "Queen of the Damned". This made me cringe - not because I don't like that particular movie or the concept of vampires. Just because it brought forth a flood of memories...I've had my share of Lestats, Wolverines, etc.

I asked her if the guy was aware of how similar he looked to this particular character, and the more she spoke, the more it became apparent that he put some effort into cultivating this particular look. Then I asked his age, and what I anticipated to hear, she verbalized. The dude was about 15 years older than she was (this girl is in her early 20's).

In that instance I wished I had a flip top head and could scoop out my knowledge and experience of my past dealing with such individuals and serve it to her on a silver platter - but of course I couldn't so I just smiled and said "well I'm glad you're happy and I hope it continues".

And it just might never know.

There are a lot of vampires and immortal (or at least very slow aging) superhero types like the Xmen out here in Los Angeles. I think they're drawn to this city because of the consistent influx of young women who travel out here (primarily to Hollywood) everyday with the hopes of becoming actresses or models or dancers or artists.

Vampires and other people who have decided not to, or who can't, age need to always be able to start a new relationship every few years with someone who's still in the age range that they're frozen in. It's kind of sad I suppose, because after a few years when the girl/women starts to age - not just physically but emotionally, she realizes that she can't be with someone who's not changing or growing along with her - or anyone else for that matter.

The vampire or other type of immortal of course realizes this too, and usually grows uncomfortable with being seen by others as the "oddity" in the relationship around the time the girl starts to realize that the guy she's with isn't quite "normal", and usually doesn't stop the girl from leaving. Hell, he might even kick her to the curb before she (and/or others) catches on to what she's really been dating.

In Los Angeles vampires and other immortals (probably because they're in such huge numbers) seem like normal everyday people (after all Los Angeles IS the entertainment mecca of the USA and the freakshow atmosphere is the norm) - but if you take one and transplant him or her to say, the midwest for example, they stick out like a sore thumb and do not appear normal at all, neither in appearance or in how they behave. They're just straight up weirdos and typically the towns people in those area will not let them near their young adult children (which again is why vampires and other immortals stick to Los Angeles or other major metro areas when attempting to mate with mortals - these are areas where young adults are typically detached from their families who'd otherwise drive a stake through the hearts of these unnatural beings).

Though I'm not an example of someone who's good at finding and maintaining healthy romantic relationships - if anything I'm one of the the worst examples - I still believe that one of the keys is to find someone you can grow and develop at a parallel pace with.

Even though vampires (and others similar to them) might have lived a long time, it doesn't mean that their emotions have matured. Hell, look at that last movie "Twilight New Moon" - is it just me or is that movie promoting the idea of being a near pedophile as being ok? Yea, Jack's character looks young, but if in reality he's over 80 years old. What's he doing going after a highschool girl? And why is this movie being targeted towards highschool girls? Is someone trying to encourage more Hugh Hefner / Girls Next Door relationships to the masses or what? (I'm only kinda kidding here).

Anyways to conclude this blog, no I don't think vampires (in a literal sense) are real, but I do think that Los Angeles (Hollywood specifically) attracts people who aren't comfortable with developing into well rounded psychologically healthy adults (and who are often out right not willing to) .

I see people everyday living here in Hollywood, men and women, on an impossible quest to remain "young". From how they dress, to how the present themselves, to their activities, to how they mutilate their bodies with plastic surgery, botox, steroids, etc.

I've made a firm decision not become one of these people. Makeup and hair extensions I can do, but anything else - nah. I feel it's OK to age and it's not the end of the world. If your breasts and ass start to droop - oh well - it's a badge of courage and a sign that you've managed to SURVIVE this world for as long as you have. If you get a wrinkle - whatever - you're changing as you should. If your hair falls out, so be it.

If we were all meant to stay the same and not age, we would. We'd also probably not live in as great of a world as we do, because many of the things we know, we'd have never learned and many of the inventions that we take for granted wouldn't have been produced - because I have a feeling that if we didn't age physically we wouldn't age mentally either.

With age, comes life insight and a chance for you to produce and/or teach a new generation. I hope I get to take part in that at some point, so I hope I'm lucky enough to one day meet someone who's OK with not trying to be 20 something forever and someone who's ok with me being an adult 30, almost 31.

I've decided not to deal with these Los Angeles vampires and have the life sucked out of me or be turned into the walking dead (by their surgery or "youth serums). I just want to live my life naturally, and age with someone normally and in a healthy way.

Vampires / immortals are stuck in a cycle of having to start over again from the beginning with a new person for eternity. That's not just sad, it's pointless and not a real way of living. It's just faking life rather than participating in a real one.

2010 is going to be about me cleaning up my life. I think the universe is actually assisting me in doing so quite a bit by brushing away the garbage whether I am ready to let it go or not.

I have no regrets when it comes to my past, but yea, there are some things I'm not overly proud of. It's time to move forward and I've come to realize that if I want to keep dirty disfunctional vampire types from entering my life in the future, I need to create a future that doesn't attract them or allow them in.

I know this blog is a bit weird today, and you might wonder what exactly it's about - well it's simply my thoughts as to what I'm working through at this point in my life and about a relationship that wasn't right for me and wasn't what I thought it was. It's been one hell of a week.

Out here in Los Angeles, and well, I suppose any where in the world (and not just at this time, but any time in history), people (especially women), are often traded in for newer and more "exciting" individuals pretty quickly. It's hurtful because it makes you feel as easily traded and disposable as a car.

Speaking of cars, my favorite car is the DeLorean. Why? Because I'm a lot like a DeLorean. At one time is was the "hot new thing", but now it's an older car. Not quite a "classic", but it's far from being a hot late model Miata or Porche.

DeLoreans are unusual cars and they're pretty rare (you just don't see them everywhere, and are currently out of production unless you want an updated model which began being produced in 2008) but are still very exciting to look at & very easily recognizable. They've been showcased in one of the most well known movie trilogies of all time - "Back to the Future". It's hard to damage the DeLorean's exterior - they have a stainless steel shell, but it makes them challenging to repair and restore.

Yep, a DeLorean is a rare, cool bitch of a car that will always be remembered. It's not for everyone, some people outright HATE them and think they're horrible, but for the people who are into DeLoreans, they're worth plating in 24K gold.

Even though I'm relating myself to a car, keep in mind, I'm not looking to a be a part of anyone's damn "collection". Collections are for objects, not people.