Familiarize with the following:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Force_de_Frappe

...whether you are my friend or foe (it really doesn't matter who you are - I love the game...and those who love the game are the best players).

Another fresh installment of Monica @ Home from 10-01-2010 - more on www.youtube.com/MonicaAtHome

Part 1


Part 2

Finally getting some of the Monica @ Home archives on www.youtube.com/MonicaAtHome! Enjoy.

10-6-2010 part 1


10-6-2010 part 2


10-6-2010 part 3


09-17-2010 part 1


09-17-2010 part 2


more on www.youtube.com/MonicaAtHome !

Pay It Forward

There have been many instances in my life of which people I've barely known or who I haven't known at all, have gone out of their way to help me - so now it's time for me to do the same and to ask you, my readers, fans and friends to do the same as well.

Please visit the following blog:

http://SupportTheo.blogspot.com

Read and familiarize yourself with the information both posted on and linked to from the blog and then hand write, notarize and mail in the attached petition no later than October 14th.

Another fresh installment of Monica Foster @ Home

Part 1


Part 2


Part 3


tonight I discuss Epassporte.com shutting down, the upcoming X-Play Halloween party on October 30th, This Ain't Avatar XXX, the possible upcoming release of an actual Tiger Wood's Sex tape on October 20th, the upcoming Google TV, Asia Carrera's final blog post (at least for a while), and male supermodel Teo Teodoridis and how he needs our support.

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Monica At Home


Another fresh installment of Monica @ Home - I discuss Isis Taylor , Little Lupe Fuentes , the "This Ain't Avatar" Fleshlight , "Who Moved My Cheese" by Spencer Johnson M.D. and much more. Enjoy.

(correction - the Isis Taylor interview is by Cindi Loftus - not Rock Pepe )

Short blog tonight, but felt the need to update since my last entry:

I'm very pleased to announce that I finally "officially" (I love that word) have a purpose driven life. I thought I did before but I wasn't quite an adult and awake yet. I suppose sometimes it takes a life changing event (which can often be a cleverly wrapped gift) to finally push you through the door into reality.

I was motivated before, but lets say that if my motivation level was on floor 12 of a 100 story building, I've just beamed up to floor 85 (keep in mind I don't know exactly HOW tall the building actually is).

Like today's most influential artists (think Madonna, Cher, Michael Jackson, Prince) , I believe in the need to reinvent yourself from time to time - why? Because if you're not consistently evolving, then you might as well not be walking this earth.

I thought I was taking "Monica Foster" and "Mighty Afrodite" and my other projects in a certain direction - but it looks like I'll be heading in a different direction.

I need to make a few things clear - my views, perspectives, beliefs and ideas are mine and mine alone. I am completely independent as of current in virtually all areas of my life - especially when it comes to my spirituality. I believe in God - but I have my own view and feel of God. I don't identify with any one particular religion and I'd appreciate it if those out there who read my writings and watch my videos NOT attempt to force their views and/or agendas upon me. In other words - DO NOT ATTEMPT TO RECRUIT ME.

I've come to realize (especially after my recent brush with some extreme negativity, evil and darkness) that finding an internal "balance" is important, however I've also come to realize that I'm definitely someone who is here to assist in tipping the scales on an energetic and universal level towards the positive, good & light.

I knew all along that working independently was the way I needed to go - I suppose I simply had to test the waters and see what it was like working with various "teams" (I needed to know) - and it looks like that what I felt in my soul was correct all along.


This is a picture from Helen Folasade Adu 's website - I really love it.




Remember to always treat others with the same regard of which you'd want to be treated.

The woman who created Monica Foster learned more about her past, current and future self over the past few days, than she could have ever imagined.



I'm wide awake, and I'm very angry about some things I didn't notice while I was drowsy.



In life we don't get to pick what we're born into, however we have the ability to choose what we become - and sometimes what we become, is something that we were once before (and in some cases a much more evolved version).



To those who understand what this blog is about - I'm not going anywhere regardless of certain negative individuals efforts. I will be living a VERY long life here on earth and I'm ready to do what I need to do to assist in getting this world where it needs to be.



I made the choice to be in it, and as always, I'm in it to win it.

ps: God has a lot of patience and a great sense of humor.

Just a quick blog to let you all know that I'm not all work - sometimes I do actually get out and about to shake my groove THANG :)

I went to a fantastic VMA afterparty last night which was organized by www.KingRyanEvents.com (I even got to ride in an AWESOME limo to the party with about 20 other hotties).

Here's a "pre-party" photo with the beautiful Eva Ellington.

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

08-23-2010 Broadcast (part 1) of Monica @ Home (www.MonicaAtHome.com)



Watch the rest of this broadcast and the show's archives on www.youtube.com/MonicaAtHome !

New blogs beginning September 01, 2010

Today I am bopping around my apartment to a Pandora station I created based on the song "Hey Soul Sister" by Train while I clean and getting everything in order for the week. I had a pretty good weekend from Friday to Sunday which brought me a nice and productive state of mind to begin the week within.

Friday I took a walk around Hollywood - though I anticipate my departure from this city shortly, I'm still taking the time to enjoy my surroundings. My move here from Fort Lauderdale, Florida was one of the most difficult undertakings of my life, however I don't want to look back on this time of my life and only associate it with negative feelings and events (because there were many good times too) - so I'm making the effort to create some positive associations as well to balance the scale - hell maybe to tip the scale more towards the light rather than the dark.

On Friday's walk, I spotted an interesting individual - he was definitely bold and darking with his choice of clothing and I thought it was fabulous (not too many men can pull off lime green leggings, with a hot pink hooded tunic and black cowboy boots) - so I pretended to be a stealth paparazzi photographer and followed him for a few blocks from a distance and took some photos of him with my iphone camera.

Saturday I took some time to listen to Eminem's new album - I'm very impressed with 2 of his new songs "Love the way you lie" and "Not Afraid". The first song brought me to a few self actualizations - the latter inspired me to DEFINITELY continue with my current project www.MonicaAtHome.com

Sunday I stopped by the Hollywood and Highland mall to run a few errands. One of my favorite stores there is Express - I stopped in and the store brought back so many fun memories. Back in south florida when I was around 18 I worked at an Express in Pompano Beach mall - those were some good times. Later that afternoon I enjoyed a very relaxing and laid back afternoon filled with Mimosa's at one of my favorite local brunch spots with a good friend of mine who I met a few months after I relocated here. He wasn't feeling well (he'd gone out and partied the night before) but he still made the effort to get out the house and hang out with me. He's one of the few males that I've met in Los Angeles who respects my unusual way of living and is fine with simply being my friend - it's a wonderful blessing to have a friend like him.

So that was my weekend - I anticipate this being a pretty good week. I'll be doing my private webcam shows of course along with Monica @ Home in the evenings today, Wednesday and Friday. At some point this week I need to edit and post on www.youtube.com/MonicaAtHome my interview with Angelique DeLeone (of CreoleFetishGoddess.com) from last Friday.

Wednesday I'm planning on having some people over for dinner - I'll probably cook a lasagna yet again - but maybe I'll make something else special to go along with it - who knows...

Though I'm feeling relatively settled and relaxed as of current, I feel a little odd - not really anxious, but as if I am anticipating or expecting something...it's hard to explain. I'm far from psychic but I'm definitely intuitive so whatever is coming - I hope it's good - I don't have a negative overlay associated with how I'm feeling, so it probably will be good (and hopefully interesting). Regardless generally change and new additions to our experience here on this planet IS good :)

So, for those of you who watch my online show www.MonicaAtHome.com - you know that I've been doing a lot of coverage as of late on the Montana Fishburne sextape. I felt the need to write a blog tonight as to exactly why I've been all over this particular news item, and why I feel others need to be aware of exactly what is going on with Montana.

I've worked in the adult entertainment industry now in total for around 8 years. I began as an exotic dancer back around 2002, transitioned into webcamming, then into the porn industry about 2 and a half years ago, and now I'm back to primarily being a webcam girl.

I'm currently working on cleaning up my life a bit, furthering my career endeavors and in general - creating a life for myself I can truly be proud of. As of current, I'm only comfortable performing in front of the camera sexually solo. Honestly, unless I enter a committed relationship with someone, who is comfortable with being sexual on camera with me (yes, I'm talking the Sunny Leone route), I doubt I'll ever shoot a boy/girl scene again.

Don't get me wrong, I think the adult entertainment industry is a valid industry and I've enjoyed working within it - however it could be better. There are many good people who are true professionals who work within porn who I've met, and I am fairly positive I will work in the adult entertainment world (most likely in a behind the scenes capacity) for the rest of my life. I have a tremendous passion and interest when it comes to adult entertainment - however I feel some major changes HAVE TO be made in regards to protecting the health and the safety of the performers. I also feel that those entering the industry need to be far more educated and aware as to exactly how the porn industry really works and what to expect once in - along with what to expect from society outside of the porn industry.

For example - young women entering porn need be told to do the following:

1) Research thoroughly all aspects of the sect of the adult entertainment industry you are entering
2) Really think through your choice as to why you want to enter adult entertainment 3) Really consider who's life you may change who is close to you by your making the decision to work within the adult entertainment industry.

Upon my entering the world of adult entertainment, I addressed the first 2 of the above points, however I didn't address the 3rd - which is why the Montana Fishburne news item has affected me so greatly.

By my entering the porn industry - I shamed my family. Yes, they still love me - however our relationship is forever changed. I may never regain their full trust and respect again. That simple fact has killed a part of and has forever changed the woman who created "Monica Foster".

Someone in the chat room tonight during the broadcast of www.MonicaAtHome.com asked me if I have any regrets - the answer is yes. If I had known back in March of 2008 how greatly my choice to enter the porn industry would effect my family, I never would have done it. The price I've paid for many of the exciting, fun and life changing experiences that being "Monica Foster" has granted me, has been the distance that has developed between myself and my family. The financial gain (which wasn't that much in the long run) and life experiences weren't worth AT ALL the change that I've experienced in my relationship with my loved ones.

Some have asked me if exotic dancing and/or webcamming can have the same impact on a person's life as being a "pornstar". Well I suppose it's all perspective - however in my eyes exotic dancing is fairly mild (if you can stay away from drugs and alcohol) - though it's "in person performance" it's not recorded on video for the world to see.

Webcamming is generally (at least in my case) solo - also it's generally something you can do from the comfort and safety of your own home. You can even "block" certain regions from viewing you which can substantially lower the chances of people you know ever finding out you're a performer".

The porn industry (or should I say system) is a bit different though. There are circuits of people within the porn industry and circling around the perimeter of the porn industry who are VERY dangerous and VERY predatory (many people in and around porn are CONSISTENTLY trying to pressure you into illegal escorting the moment you shoot your first adult scene). I suppose you could say the same for the exotic dancer world - but from my experience - it's simply not the same.

I entered the porn circuit at 29 - and from working in the exotic dancing circuit I was already pretty aware, "street smart", and savvy in regards to knowing how to avoid certain types of dangerous situations. However this young woman Monatana is not - she's 19 years old and considering that she's from a fairly sheltered background - and considering that, plus the fact that she is the daughter of someone who has quite a lot of money - she is in literal danger as of current in my view.

The current individuals in the porn industry surrounding Montana should have initially done the right thing the moment they realized who's daughter she was, by telling her to "go home" and/or by contacting the Laurence Fishburne camp to notify him as to what his daughter was getting herself into. However no one had a conscience and did so - they simply saw dollar signs.

In my eyes (though Montana IS of age and is technically an adult), I feel that she is essentially being held hostage via the psychological manipulation of her "management" aka pimp. The people around her have failed to educate her to the true facts of the adult entertainment industry, and she is very naive as to how the business end of the industry truly works - which is evident in this interview with Montana that AVN just published (I hope TO GOD that when she launches her website, everything is AT LEAST in HER NAME so that she owns it).

As of current it has been exposed to THE WORLD via a young woman who was close to Montana Fishburne named "NeNe" (you can watch the video interview here), that the young man Montana is "dating" has encouraged her to work as a prostitute.

I created www.GettingIntoPorn.com back in July of 2009 to try to reach young women (girls) like 19 year old Montana Fishburne - however I think I need to possibly do more (and so do other current and ex adult entertainers who feel as I do).

I strongly feel at this point that for the adult entertainment industry to survive and be seen in the future as a valid and legitimate industry, the health and safety of the talent will have to be taken much more into account, the compensation the talent receives will need to be standardized, and lastly the age limit for performers will need to be raised to 21 years old.

I'm nervous at this stage in the Montana Fishburne sextape "scandal" that other young women from middle class backgrounds will think that it's "cool" and "trendy" and "rebellous" to get into porn (much like how Montana thought the emulating Kim Kardashian was a good idea). These young women will not be aware as to how treacherous the porn entertainment industry truly is, which MAY just be what many in the porn industry want - to recruit fresh young naive meat.

In the future, when I launch my adult production label/studio (I feel I literally HAVE TO at this point in order to be at least one "safe island" for those entering the dangerous sea which is the porn industry), I will implement within my own workplace the ideals of which I have for the porn industry as a whole. I suppose I won't be as successful financially as other studios but I feel like the whole reason my life has taken the path of which is has, was so that I could witness some wrongs and at least attempt to take a stand to set an example to others as what is RIGHT.

I wish Montana Fishburne the best (I hope she gathers enough common sense relatively soon to realize that if she IS to continue in the adult world, she needs to develop a solid plan for herself INDEPENDENTLY and that she needs to stop hanging around trash and pimps.) and I hope the her father Laurence Fishburne can reach her, and help her - he needs to.

I suppose I'm very very very fortunate to have the father and mother that I do because though I disappointed them - they helped me when I really needed it recently and they encouraged me to do better for myself - thanks Mom & Dad.

Another broadcast of Monica At Home on www.MonicaAtHome.com

On this broadcast I primarily discuss a recent rumor pertaining to Bethany Benz (Caviar from "For the Love of Ray J ) and why it's important for African American women to support each other within the adult entertainment industry.

The past few weeks I have struggled - not just with external and material matters, but with internal as well - I can honestly define this time period over the past few weeks as some of my "darkest hours".

But guess what - darkness doesn't last forever...

The August sun has begun to rise - and with it - I rise - like a fiery phoenix from the ashes.



I have had more support, words or encouragement and words of wisdom from the most unlikeliest of sources over the past few days and I am BEYOND grateful - and humbled.

I work very hard - I know that some (from a certain school of WEAK, PAST DATED and PROGRAMMED thought) may feel that my projects, dreams and endeavors are by lack of better terms "frivolous" and "pointless" - but apparently to many of you out there (and to ME) - they are making a DIFFERENCE and ARE NOT, and frankly that's all that matters...

I stand together with my Amazon sisters and my brothers of whom respect strong independent and self assured individuals and I say:

"I will not go quietly into the night!

I will not vanish without a fight!

I am going to live on!

I am going to survive!"

And to all you little midget bitch boys hiding behind your broken down women who have something to say to me in regards to www.MonicaAtHome.com - SAY IT TO MY FACE if you dare, because I am not alone, afraid or intimidated by you...in the future I WILL OWN YOU and I will liberate all of whom you have suppressed. Your time has past, party's over - so go back to the sewers from which you came.

Another new installment of Monica @ Home
(www.MonicaAtHome.com)

Just a note to say a big "THANK YOU" to you all who sent words of encouragement in response to my most recent blog in regards to my move from Los Angeles.

I definitely haven't lost hope, faith or drive when it comes to my future goals, dreams and endeavors - however I suppose at times you simply have to re-work the road map of the path you've drawn out for yourself in order to reach what you are after.

This week's Monica @ Home broadcasts have finally been posted to www.MonicaAtHome.com and www.youtube.com/MonicaAtHome.

Below is Friday night's broadcast of which I focus on the recent Montana Fishburne sex tape scandal and how Brian Pumper should have stayed away from this naive and obviously confused 19 year old woman.









Below is Thursday night's broadcast specifically geared towards teens, young adults and parents in regards to:

1)young people being honest with their parent's and/or loved ones about working in adult entertainment
2)signs that parents may want to look for if they suspect their young adult children are currently working in or considering working in the porn industry.
3)Signs of which your daughter's (and in some cases son's) boyfriend may be a pimp.
4) How if your son or daughter has gone missing in their late teens, it might be beneficial for your to check adult agency websites when searching for them.









On Monday's broadcast I primarily discuss how I feel the minimum age limit to work as a porn talent needs to be raised from 18 years old to 21 years old - I think the most recent events in regards to Laurence Fishburne's daughter Montana - prove my point.

Well all signs are pointing to the end of the Monica Foster in Los Angeles "era". I tried for quite some time to blindfold myself to that fact, but the blindfold has been worn through to nothing by the wind, rain, and other torrential elements to where I can no longer help but face the simple facts that it's time to go.

I suppose a part of me is bitter that nothing was really as I'd hoped it would be here on the west coast. I really love this place - it's beautiful, but maybe I wasn't ready or strong enough (or both) to make it out here.

At the end of August I have to relocate to somewhere else in the country. Living here is too expensive.

The woman who created Monica Foster feels like a loser and an idiot at times. It wasn't just money, fame or career that motivated me to move here. It was love too - my love of the arts, my love of adventure and my love of wanting to achieve all I could. In the end even after I stopped performing in porn, I stayed here only due to the romantic love I felt for another. I believed that if you had enough hope and faith and drive that you couldn't fail and things would work out. Spiritually I have grown but in every other capacity I have been depleted.

Today the woman who created Monica Foster spoke with her father to ask for help. I never really want to ask anyone for help. It's the most difficult thing for me to do in the world, which is why I never ask anyone of anything. I'd rather give of myself until I have nothing left than to ask anyone for a damn thing, but today I did and in return I was asked "Why haven't you settled down and gotten married?"

Good question.

I've been married once in the past. I've never really wanted to admit this, but I'll admit it today - I loved the man I was once married to but he didn't love me. He was a tall beautiful man with several good qualities from Romania. Unfortunately he had bad qualities too - one of which was lack of respect for me and lack of honesty overall. I was around 22 at the time. He tricked me into marrying him, screwed up my credit and used me for his green card. That's all there is too it and I hope he gets treated in the same way one day by someone he finds himself caring about.

I've had other offers of marriage - since after that incident. I could have had a family before - but it wouldn't have been under good circumstances - wrong reasons. Others offers maybe possibly would have been for the right reasons - who knows - however I stayed single. I had and still do have dreams and goals. No one I've ever come across romantically has ever acknowledged or taken seriously those dreams or goals though and/or has been on a path parallel to my own.

My father asked me "what went wrong" with my and my sister's lives when it comes to men. I responded 1) Lack of a healthy male role model and idea of what a real marriage really should be (my parents split in my early teens) and 2) My mother consistently saying not to settle.

My father went on to say how in this life you just can't make it on your own - especially financially. Maybe he's right cause I'm definitely not making it and it's scary as hell - but one thing I will say is that it's not for lack of trying.

Men, I will never figure out and I don't think it's meant for me too. I have managed to have had every man I've ever dated use me for something and then discard of me (often without explanation) . Relationships - I give up. Finances - I'm clueless about.

At this point I might not ever have a marriage or even someone to date considering my adult entertainment career choices, but all in all I think it's OK because maybe I'm just dating and could possibly simply be married to myself for now.

I'll finish up with my planned Monica @ Home (www.MonicaAtHome.com) schedule for this week, but then I'm done for a while. I'm depressed and trying my best to hold on to at least a corner of the boat in this sea of hell. Maybe eventually the tide will wash me ashore somewhere nice.

Upcoming www.MonicaAtHome.com show topics for the next week.

(live broadcast on: http://www.blogtv.com/People/MonicaAtHome)

Monday:
Why the age limit to perform in adult movies (porn) needs to be raised from 18 to 21 - primarily due to the disturbing rise of "kiddie themes" in even "mainstream" adult movies - and how the "Barely Legal" themes lead to pedophilia in our society both nationally and internationally.

I believe in freedom of speech thought and expression, but as of current the pedophile themed adult content is getting out of control and is majorly warping the minds of youth not just in America but internationally as well.

I will discuss how a "healthy" sex life (in my opinion) should equate to a mature, and psychologically balanced ADULT mindset and how this mindset links to having a successful (or unsuccessful) relationships.

I'll also talk about how as an adult talent, if you're not "Contracted" (or in bed) with 1 of about 4 adult studios or adult industry key individuals who own virtually the entire "mainstream porn" industry - do you have a chance in hell of winning ANY awards (unless you shell out money to sponsor an awards event)?

Tuesday:
Tube Sites - do they REALLY negatively effect the profits of the porn industry, or in actuality do they POSITIVELY effect the profits? Could it be that their purpose is to indoctrinate and condition the current under 18 year old population into being psychologically triggered by certain (and disturbingly youthful appearing) adult actresses and sexual acts, which later down the line will successfully convert into a paying client base when they're over 18.

I also will discuss who really owns and funds these Tube sites (such as redtube.com) and how their successful "brainwashing" techniques could easily be applied to other business models ( or new porn studios for that matter ).

This particular show may actually make you wonder if the most "popular" pornstars in actuality are nothing more than the ringing bell of Pavlov's dog theory/experiment.

I will also discuss the link between Anime, Hentai and current adult (live action) movies and why you as a parent may want to keep your children away from Anime cartoons such as Sailor Moon until they are teenagers being that much of Hentai on first glance is virtually indistinguishable from G-rated Anime.

Thursday:
This show is specifically for parents of teenagers. I will xplain how to break it to your parents that you've entered the adult industry and I will discuss the signs you should look for in regards to your son or daughter potentially being recruited to work as an adult actor or actress (pornstar) - along with the warning signs of a "pimp".

I will also discuss ways in which you can locate your son or daughter if you suspect he or she has entered the adult industry.

Friday:
Ways in which I feel adult content producers (porn studio owners) could be more responsible when it comes to promoting both safe and healthy sex to young people - especially being that it's young people who are a vast majority of who keeps them afloat financially.

I will also touch on how I've noticed that the "feature dancer" agencies have a severe lack of ethnic "feature dancers".

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Another fresh installment of www.MonicaAtHome.com
broadcast on 7-12-2010

Watch more Monica @ Home on www.youtube.com/MonicaAtHome

So, during last night's broadcast of "Monica @ Home" I went a bit postal and threw a bit of a temper-tantrum due to some rude trollers in the chat room. Hey - I'm human so what can I say (well, I WILL say thank goodness for video editing software - hehe - actually maybe I'll post a video of my tantrum online sometime - it would go viral fairly quickly I'm sure because when I'm angery - I'm ANGRY).

Anyways below is last night's broadcast - the 3rd video is just something that made me very giddy :) Enjoy.







LOL, just watching the 3rd video again really cracks me up - BUT I can totally relate to the narrator (whether it's dramatized or not) because being out in nature - REAL nature sure as hell makes me happy - sends me on a bit of a high actually.

I went to another trail today at Griffith Park and had a great time - I really hope to meet more people in the area that I can enjoy these awesome nature hikes with. Being single is great and I feel settled back into true "single mode", but I'll tell you, having a partner who shares my interests sure would be nice.

I explored the Bronson caves today and they're really cool (check out the video below (or if you're reading this on myspace - check out this same blog on http://monicafoster.blogspot.com to watch the video). City life is good, but I'm entering a stage in life now of which I'm gravitating more towards urbanization's counterpart (untouched earth calms me down substantially).

I'm lucky to have had the opportunity in life to see and experience many opposing ways of simply "Being". I realize many others on this planet aren't bestowed with such a gift or opportunity.

Getting into hiking has been so great for my train of thought, because it's encouraged me to enjoy living "in the moment" rather than consistently "thinking ahead" or anticipating a desired outcome. When I'm out in nature, I really just enjoy being there - thinking back to other times in my life, I didn't enjoy the immediate moments nearly enough.

By the way, I've created the ULTIMATE pandora.com channel for my outdoor excursions. I suppose I'll have to purchase the music to keep on my ipod and/or iphone for when I explore some trails later this summer that will take me out of the 3G coverage range :)

MyHeritage: Family trees - Genealogy - Celebrities - Collage - Morph

Monica At Home - Part 1



Monica At Home - Part 2



Monica At Home - Part 3




Last night on www.MonicaAtHome.com was “Miscast Monday” and I discussed my thoughts on what I feel to be casting blunders in the upcoming porn parody “Sex in the City – In search of the Screaming O” from DreamZone entertainment.

I question why adult industry star Sara Jessie was not cast as “Carrie” (in my opinion this may possibly be one of the biggest adult parody miscasts of the year).

I also discussed The Urban X Awards and the performer of the year nominees.

Later I outlined avoiding “middle-men” who work under the guise of “webcam model agents” and “webcam studios” when beginning your career as a webcam model, and how to sign up with the webcam networks such as Imlive.com directly.

Lastly, I answered a few questions from the live viewers and chatters at the end of the broadcast.

--------

On a personal note, life is going pretty well right now. I'm really enjoying my energy level since getting into a regular hike/jog/workout routine (of which I am chronicling on my new blog www.ModernHikerWoman.com - look for the Griffith Park hike update later this week).

I'm far from being to the level of success of which I want to reach both personally and financially (yep I'm still broke), but I feel very wealthy as of current - especially when it comes to my current level of creativity and motivation.

In this stage in the game, I'm turning my back to anyone and anything negative or draining that attempts to enter my sphere of well being, and am only concentrating on creating a world of my own of which I feel accomplished, inspired and happy.

Speaking of turning my back on negativity, a very tall life hurdle I'm finally finding the ability to leap over is "jealousy". When I look back on many instances in my life that I walked away from, ended or that simply went sour - whenever there were issues that were truly my fault in those situations, it was always due to one common theme - my JEALOUSY (of things, people or situations of which I shouldn't have even worried about or allowed to effect how I felt at those times of my life).

I suppose when someone has a jealous nature, it's mainly due to the person being insecure. As I'm moving through life, getting myself together (truly together), and am shaping and forming my life into what I want it to be (a positive, productive and fulfilling one), I'm finding that my self confidence and self esteem are finally reaching a healthy level - so I'm losing the "jealousy tendency". However now that I'm realizing that I have little to be jealous over when it comes to others, I'm beginning to finally, for the first time in my life in a VERY long time experience another emotion, which though healthy, is very uncomfortable - regret.

I've said in the past I have little to no regret over past choices I've made - that is no longer the case.

Another fresh installment of www.MonicaAtHome.com



Tonight I discuss avoiding "middle men" when signing up to be a webcam girl and the new adult series from New Sensations "The Romance Series".

Another fun broadcast of www.MonicaAtHome.com from last night.
The next live broadcast will be this Friday evening at 10pm PST.


Monica Foster at Home

I finally put together a new blog on Runyon Canyon for my new site and blog www.ModernHikerWoman.com as well. Enjoy :)

Another installment of www.MonicaAtHome.com


Monica Foster At Home


Shelly Lubben "fighting evil" via irrational methods, stating (as usual) that all porn is bad/evil, and at time code 6:50 Shelley mentions "gays turning straight" while she was ministering to people in prison - since when Shelley to gays need to be turned straight? Tell me, should blacks be turned white as well?




Later on in this video, Shelley generalizes all porn women as being "fake" and "unhappy" and not having anything going on for themselves - speak for yourself Lubben - I'm more real than your bible thumping irrational prejudiced fat ass ever was or will be.

Well it's Saturday - and what a week it's been - well in actuality it's been a rather eventful past couple of weeks.

I've managed to get in disagreements with 3 people I considered good friends over the past few weeks. I wish all of the disagreements (each of which was completely independent of one another) could have been avoided but as some people say - life goes on and people change - ironically it wasn't any of the people I've known who have changed - it's simply ME.

I'm most likely going to retract for a bit - most likely for the duration of the Summer. There are many things I need to focus on career wise and personally, and though I wanted to reach out to include others in my career goals, and ideas, I've found that at this point in time I need to work 100% independently. I've always been a very self sufficient and and independent thinker, worker and lifestyler (as many of you, my readers I'm sure are aware of by now) so I accept that this is my nature as of current and I'm just going to go with it.

Often times I become very frustrated with others because I view things a bit differently than many do being that I'm a natural "fixer" and "system builder". When I see how a system can either be implemented or repaired in order to make things easier, more efficient and overall better and others don't or aren't willing to even TRY to see things from my point of view I get very DISAPPOINTED.

I hate being disappointed because I live for excitement. I'm and adventure girl and I'm a bit of an adrenaline junky, so I'm starting to realize that since that's the case, I'm best off (at least at this point in my life) working on my own little goals, celebrating my own little successes, embarking on my own little adventures and primarily dealing with others who live along similar wave lengths.

Yesterday was a nice but enlightening day. I hung out with a girlfriend of mine and we caught up on each other's lives. She and I both have aspirations to create something wonderful within the world of adult entertainment. She is more of a "team spirit" type of girl (she's going into business with her boyfriend and his roommate), where as I'm going at my ventures solo. What's always fabulous about hanging out with her though, is that we encourage each other, give each other honest and positive advice and input, and laugh at the pitfalls we've each encountered along our personal and professional journeys.

I'm rather cerebral and have been VERY cerebral especially over the past year or so which is what has prompted me to actively settle into a regular workout routine. As of current my sport of choice is hiking. Today I went over to Runyon for a VERY long hike - this time along the advanced trails.

I'm not sure whether I was brave or just plain stupid to go at these trails alone, but hey - it's Saturday and the park was full of people so I suppose I wasn't really alone, plus I had my Iphone jacked into Pandora.com so I had fantastic tunes along the way.

If you don't currently have a pandora.com account - GET ONE! Today I was listening to a station I created based on Pink's song "U + ur hand" - I love aggressive "guuuurl" music right now because when I work out I'm expelling a lot of aggressive energy as of current. Sometimes I think it's odd that I'm as aggressive as I am by nature being that I'm a Capricorn - good thing my sign isn't Aries.

I love observing the groups of people and their dogs on my hikes at Runyon. Today I enjoyed going along one of the trails with a wolf pack - Actually the dogs were Husky's I think but it felt like a friendly high energy wolf pack - it was kind of hard to even decipher the "people" from the "dogs" as they nearly shared the same vibrational frequency.

On one of the peaks of Runyon currently there's a prayer box - again, you have to be either brave or stupid to get to it, but it's worth it. The box is set up to where you write your prayer, goal, aspiration, desire, or wish - insert it in the box, and then slide the door over to read one from someone else. It's interesting to read other's thoughts - especially on a peak with such a beautiful and inspiring panoramic view. I'll be many other those shared thoughts will find a way to manifest themselves into our reality through the minds of those who take the time to read them - it takes a really strong mind to convince the body to make it up to that box :)

Though I've said this before on one of my most recent www.MonicaAtHome.com broadcasts, I LOVE my Iphone - it truly is going to be a dividing line between the "haves" and the "have nots" in the near future, but I'll tell you why I like it the most - aside from the Iphone allowing me to be much more productive - it also allows me to be an introvert when in a very social setting. I like that.

Well time to get to work - I'll be live on webcam the entire weekend doing private shows - if you don't catch me online here are a few other cool sites to occupy your mind and maybe get you out of the house (if you have an iphone you can take your work with you).

www.Imjustwalkin.com
www.modernhiker.com

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Another fresh broadcast of Monica @ Home!

www.MonicaATHome.com

Monica Foster @ Home

New blog posted on:

www.GettingOutOfPorn.com

(updating the DNS servers - this blog will be live again in 48 hours)

If you're really curious about my life at this point in time - and if you want to stop intolerance, prejudice and racism this is a MUST read.

Most recent post from www.GettingOutOfPorn.com:

Since taking the leap to work independently in the adult entertainment industry rather than for other studios, though there was a lull in the beginning (my transition period) I now am busier than ever working as a webcam girl from home, working as a talent development consultant for my growing client base, and working on getting my adult and mainstream content studio together (so that I can continue my career in and out of porn from a behind the scenes position).

Aside from being busy professionally, I've gotten back into the swing of things with my workout routine - have been hiking Runyon Canyon every day this week. I still haven't quit smoking completely, but I've MAJORLY tapered down my drinking to only special social occasions and my bi-weekly "girls night dinner parties" :) I feel great about that and very balanced.

The end of this month and next month will be pretty busy - I have a comedy event of which I'm the producer of, that I'll be putting together for July 21st called Laffgasm.com - the website will be launched soon. I'm really looking forward to putting on more events in the future as a part of my "talent development" work being that there are so many talented people that just need a venue to shine at in order to boost their careers.

Also on the 29th of June (this month), I may be having a "public discussion" after the upcoming Aids Healthcare Foundation meeting (click here for details) with a woman named Shelley Lubben who runs an "organization" called The Pink Cross. I used to admire this woman for her supposed attempts to help people, but after doing a bit of research on her, watching her interviews, and having heard about some of the realities of her organization from a few trusted friends, I'm not so certain that even she is clear as to what her true agenda is.

I think as of current that she is very self centered, immature, emotionally stunted, manipulative and on a quest of fame at the expense of hurting others and their livelihoods.

What I don't like about Lubben most of all, is that she blames everyone and everything else in life for circumstances she found herself in within life, except for herself. She seems to see the world as black and white rather than billions of shades of gray and colors.

We all have free will and we all make CHOICES in life. She CHOSE to work as a prostitute and a porn actress. No one held a gun to her head. Her career choice didn't work out for her and she chose to leave the industry completely, however that was her choice - and for her to demonize EVERYONE and EVERYTHING associated with it now is just plain wrong.

This particular blog is about how I realized that working as a full time porn actress for other studios wasn't right for me - however along the way I realized that I like working in the adult entertainment industry in other ways and I probably will continue to do so for quite some time.

Yes, my views and decisions have changed over time, but I'm constantly evolving - that's what healthy people who are trying to become the best versions of themselves do.

Lubben is pathetic is my book as of current and her views and what she preaches and wants to happen in regards to the eradication of the entire adult entertainment industry makes her a very dangerous woman. It is fanatical and extreme individuals like her in this society who promote things like intolerance, prejudice and racism.

Individuals who are quiet or low key due to their positions in society or their careers, but who share people like Lubben's views and who want to morph our society into a land of hate and intolerance are unfortunately who fund people like Lubben which is why Lubben needs to be stopped (I'm actually very curious as to WHO exactly funds Lubben and WHY).

As for Lubben's history, she's gone from one co-dependent situation to another her entire life - from a prostitute who most likely had a pimp, to a marriage, to depending on a religious organization for her livelihood. I doubt she's ever had a real job or even been independent in her life.

This Lubben woman I feel has targeted me because she sees me, my way of life, and my thoughts as a threat to her. Why? Because I tell people for FREE and without asking for donations from others to continue my blogs, websites, and work (I fund my ventures myself) how they can get out of porn if they want to and rebuild their lives without having to "repent" and without adhering to a particular religion.

In the past Lubben ran around chasing Steve Hirch (who probably told her to jump off a cliff - there's a video of this on youtube - I'll find the link and post it later ), and since he and everyone else ignores her, she now is going after a young black woman who's single and self employed trying to do her best in life, who is over a decade younger than she is (who who isn't even an active porn actress right now).

It's amazing to me how certain people IN porn don't like me , because my presence and mild success negates everything they want porn actresses to believe they have to do in order to be successful - while certain people AGAINST anything to do with porn hate me because though I feel changes in the way porn operates need to be made, I still think it's a cool field to work in and I definitely don't think religion needs to be even remotely involved.

If Lubben were to "stop porn" forever she would cripple not only hardcore porn producers financially (not just shady ones, but individuals who are GOOD and PROFESSIONAL people who run their business appropriately), but softcore producers, webcam networks, independent webcam girls (such as myself), most likely strip clubs, cable networks, online adult movie networks, and the list goes ON AND ON AND ON.

Bottom line is she needs to complete HER OWN road to recovery, deal with her OWN past demons and MOVE ON in her life and maybe get a regular job or volunteer position with an organization that has nothing to do with adult entertainment or anything else that causes her to relive her past.

Well that's my update for this blog for today - make sure to check my other blogs and websites to keep up with me :)