Monday, July 20, 2009

I had an excellent weekend. This weekend was one of the first times in a LONG time that I did something very healthy and positive for myself. I was very fortunate to have God and the universe bring a new friend into my life who welcomed me into a very soul searching and mind expanding experience on Saturday. This one experience was pretty much the equivalent of around 6 months of therapy sessions. I walked away from the experience realizing that:

  • I'm too hard on myself and needlessly so.
  • I'm further along in my life's progression than I give myself credit for.
  • I need to work on accepting myself for who I am a bit more and let go of some guilt I've been harboring which is all based in the "ego".
  • I definitely have reached a "crossroads" in life, and my decision to work for the positive, light, and betterment of humanity is definitely the right choice - though it's the more difficult one.
  • It's OK to speak my mind and that there's power in doing so.
  • My recent decisions to block certain individuals and activities from my life is the correct one.
  • It's ok to be "silly".
  • It's necessary that my body get in a lot more physical activity to expel some deep seeded anger & negativity I embody - which is primarily based in my disappointment in much of humanity (mainly people not treating other as they'd want to be treated).

    I let a TON of negativity go on Saturday (it's amazing how when you let go of things emotionally you actually feel a lot better physically)and I made some wonderful new friends and acquaintances of whom I hope to hang with again soon.

    I suppose Saturday's theme was: To know thy self is to love thy self. Thank you Sunny.

    Sunday I hung at the mall with a couple of girlfriends and had lunch which was nice. Many of my girlfriends are from the "non-adult industry" world and I often forget that many women really are not very knowledgeable when it comes to what's "sexy". For whatever reason my friends think I'm an "expert in sexiness" which was actually very flattering so I had a chance to share some "tips and tricks" with them.

    I'm glad that a lot of people read my blog, however I'm not very happy with the fact that many men who read my blog, feel that it's a "guide" as to "how to get into Monica's pants". In fact it outright pisses me off.

    I received an unsolicited email recently from a douche bag who initially propositioned me sexually and offered to "pay for my services". I AM NOT AN ESCORT so DO NOT ASK! I replied to this dip shit that he was totally out of line and not to contact me any further. THEN this idiot not only sends me his real name and photo (which I will post if he contacts me again), but he also had the nerve to try to get me to meet him for drinks for a "regular date" and on top of it has a big enough unjustifiable ego to suggest that I'd probably really like him. WRONG! Here's why:

    1) This person is very unattractive inside and out.
    2) This person engages in illegal activity.
    3) This person is obviously obsessed with "Monica" and I don't date anyone into "Monica".

    This piece of dung claims to "read my blog", but I'll tell you this - ANYONE who really reads my blog, would know for sure, that crap like him doesn't cut it in my world (oh and he sent his resume - he works in the mainstream entertainment industry - ironic.).

    I think it's really disgusting how people try to target others who are obviously trying to better their lives - people who do this shit I hope live a very very very long time because I'd not want to be them when it comes time to meet their maker.

    I decided to write about this individual because I want readers of this blog to see that once you decide to take a different path in life once you've worked (or continue to work in my case - via webcam) in the adult industry, many people - especially men assume that you will do ANYTHING - legal, illegal or outside of your established comfort zone for money. I want primarily women to know that if you do decide to do porn - it dramatically effects how a large sect of society views you.

    Ok, enough of that, I don't have a yoga class to release my anger till later in the week so I can't afford to build up too much up just yet.

    Well it's Monday morning and it's back to the webcam grind. I will have a couple house guests this evening so after I do a few more morning shows, I'm going to take a nap, then do some laundry and then welcome my friends into town. It should be a nice evening.