I'm very fortunate to have developed a small but nice network of genuine friends. Some live in LA and some in other areas of the country, but regardless, near or far my friends are very involved in my life and current happenings (which is great). The longer I live here in LA, the more I'm realizing that "genuine" people in this city are VERY few and far between, which is actually the only disappointing thing about this city. Maybe one day the attitude here will change.
I was on webcam most of the weekend, but Sunday night I had a chance to hang out at the pool and play some music with a good girlfriend of mine. She's an excellent musician (guitarist) and though I mainly just play on the drum while she plays guitar it's one of the most enjoyable activities. If I have enough drinks in me, I even sing along.
Since I've been "Lil Miss Single Girl" again, I've had a good amount of people start to come out of the woodwork and to ask me out. I'm glad because since ending my past relationship I wasn't sure how to even go about meeting someone new. I've found that I'm a better person and feel happier when I'm a part of a couple. Also I want to have a family of my own at some point in the near future, so not being open to a relationship definitely isn't helpful in that department.
The problem that I'm encountering at present though, is that I never know if the person I'm dating is really into Monica Foster or the woman who created Monica Foster. Basically what I'm saying is that a TON of men want to be with a pornstar, but I doubt a ton of men actually want to be with ME - so I've decided to stick to the following rule:
No more personal-life sex until I'm at least engaged with a set wedding date.
That's right, now this rule may simply insure that no one ever dates me again, but oh well... I'd rather be alone, than be with a guy who doesn't really want to be with me.
Now I have to use the term "personal-life" in the rule because hey, I might do an adult movie here and there and will definitely be doing webcam shows (yea they're solo but I still consider that sex with myself - hehe).
The whole "commitmaphobic guy" thing is pathetic and out here in LA it's very common. I need a man who's in it for the long haul - marraige and family can be a cool phase of life and I want in! I have a feeling that I will wind up finding what I'm looking for.
Following this new rule will be difficult (though not impossible - I haven't been with anyone intimately since my ex and that was quite some time ago now), BUT as of late I've been feeling a lot more confident and self assured. I'm feeling more and more that I deserve the best, and the best for me is someone who wants a strong, solid future and family with me. I suppose I better go chastity belt shopping tomorrow.