Ok, well today could have been a day of camshows but it wasn't. Mainly because I've been slacking on getting me online show Real Exotic Dancers Talk Back (www.RedTback.com) relaunched so I figured I'd dig into that.

In my attempt to make the show much more professional than it was when I initially started it, I decided to implement my "green screen" technology - ugh - what a freakin task - my main delay in getting the screen to work properly with my webcam graphics software has to do with my lack of a proper lighting system. After tinkering with different lighting techniques and camera techniques for over 2 hours I finally got it working about 70% properly - once I have a little extra dough I will head over to IKEA and try to find something along the lines of hanging or ceiling mounted halogin lights to get a good continuous lighting effect.

Back when first launched RedTback I was broadcasting through Nowlive.com - well for whatever reason, now I can't get their interface to work with my webcam setup SO I've decided rather than going back and forth endlessly with their tech support to migrate the show to BlogTV.com - I will probably set up the weekly live show for GettingIntoPorn.com on BlogTV.com as well - we'll see...

I'm reading a new book - "the Purpose Driven Life" by Rick Warren - I've only gotten through the intro being that I don't have much spare time to really read a lot of books nowdays, but I'm totally hooked into the book just from the first page so I'm sure I'll have more to say about it later as I read more. The author of this particular book suggests that you only read 1 chapter per day (which will be hard for me to do because when it comes to anything I get into in life - I have a severe lack of patience). There are 40 chapters so getting through the book will take 40 days - the author mentions in the intro that "40 days" may be a spiritually siginificant amount of time (ie: the great flood in the bible being 40 days, Moses spending 40 days on Mt. Siani , etc) so I'll probably need to get into another book simultaneously while reading this one so that I'm not tempted to read ahead.

It's funny - when I was younger (especially from around age 10 to 16) I was a "book-aholic" - I'd read 3 to 4 books per week - I suppose I have my parent's intellectual natures to attribute that towards.

Though I'd have liked to upgrade my video and photo equipment prior to beginning the development of another website I'm hoping to launch to showcase other beautiful ethnic women in a "softcore erotic" style - I've decided to take the bull by the horns and just use the technology and know how I already have to get started. I've met a few women in the biz I'd have liked to work with but unfortunately they are all beyond unmotivated and flakey SO I put up a few ads to try to find some women who are interested in working with me - hopefully I'll find a few - realistically I only need 6.

Well time to get back to work on relaunching Real Exotic Dancers Talk Back - hopefully I'll get everything setup properly tonight to be able to relaunch the show tomorrow.

Yesterday was a cool day. I received a "pre-releasse" copy of the scene I shot a few months ago for http://www.sexedupsuperheroines.com - it looks fantastic - thanks Steve Steel!

I wrote the following yesterday but am posting today - if it puts off certain Monica Foster "fans" I'm sorry but I'm sick of the bullshit:

As I’ve stated on my blog before, with the possible exceptions of creating content for my Official website: MonicaF.com and the few exceptional projects within the porn “industry” itself that may come my way, I’ve made the decision to try to move my life into the fields of Wellness and Beauty (via cosmetology & massage therapy - of which I’m hoping to start school for in the summer). Of course I’ll continue with the online talk shows that I’m working on (and TRYING to re-launch) in regards to informing people within and outside of the adult industry as to “what’s really up” - but I know that as I age, cosmetology and massage therapy are 2 fields that I can excell in, will find satisfaction in and inner completeness in and have a bit of longevity in.

It’s amazing how when you try to do what you know is the right thing for yourself, the “devil” tends to rear his head to try to throw you off.

You would THINK that my blog readers, website members, cam show viewers and myspace “friends” would be supportive of this choice - WRONG. Instead you have a bunch of self serving, shady, weird assholes out there who try to instead of saying “go girl !” , say “hey that’s great - how about you fly up for a weekend and “hang out” and I’ll help you pay for your school”. Yes - this blog is specifically pointed towards you piece of crap readers out here who made the ILLEGAL “offer” and you’re lucky I don’t publish your name and phone numbers on this blog so people know who you are and what you’re about. Hell, oneday I still MIGHT!

I’ll tell you, you would THINK that considering all the crap happening with our countries economy and world as a whole that people would have learned by now that attempting to take advantage of a situation when you know damn well you shouldn’t is WRONG! Apparently some people just can’t stop OR they simply refuse to LEARN.

Right now a lot of adult industry professionals - namely porn performers and strippers are having a VERY hard time and many are being VERY TEMPTED to ILLEGALLY work as a prostitute. I’m not against anything that is LEGAL - however in 99% of our country prostitution is NOT LEGAL so it truly shouldn’t be done unless in a LEGAL enviroment. Many porn girls and strippers are feeling FORCED and PRESSURED into doing something ILLEGAL by the “JOHN’s” themselves and it needs to stop.

Don’t be fooled - these JOHN’s are not willing to pay in the HIGH HUNDREDS or THOUSANDS for women and men they normally wouldn’t ever have a chance with - they are essentially paying PENNIES on the DOLLAR for girls who rates were once 1000 plus an hour. I urge women out there who work in the adult world, but who don’t want to do anything illegal to SEEK OUT OTHER OPTIONS! They DO exist (webcam shows, creating your own website, finding a job outside of the adult biz for now to supplement) .YES you’ll have to work harder than maybe you are used to but it is WORTH IT!

Recently someone (a girl I know AND fellow “pornstar”) who I thought was smart AND a friend who I offered to build a website for and assist in getting started on webcam shows blatently told me “I’d rather just go fuck some guy for half an hour and make $200 than sit at home on my webcam to make money”. What a total and complete dumb ass and disappointment - glad I found out what she was about sooner than later though.

Hell - I think true pornSTARS who are working for rates well below the norm should stop working until the economy improves because eventually it will and when it does - the stupid bullshit that people try to bait you into to make chump change will seem COMPLETELY not worth it.

So in conclusion : DO NOT contact me to try to bait me into being your in person prostitute, because through life experience, I’ve learned that I am WAY better than doing anything ILLEGAL. If I wanted to be a LEGAL prostitute I’d probably just go to the Bunny Ranch.

Also do not contact me to say “hi” via IM unless you are in an active camshow from me because just like how you have a job and don’t like your time being wasted at work , and just like how you don’t go to work for free NEITHER DO I. Respect that.

If this peals away the “illusion” that I’m your “girlfriend” then oh well - apparently you don’t live in reality anyways.

Right now I’m pissed because I do work hard and I’m seeing very little reward for my work and effort right now. I know damn well if I were to do ILLEGAL activity like many adult industry professionals are right now I’d be sitting pretty financially but I’ve chosen not too.

Whether people want to acknowledge this or not - porn IS acting - it’s physical and verbal ACTING - it is NO different than being an “action hero” AND it’s out there for everyone to see. I’m starting to think that the biggest reason prostitution IS NOT legal in the USA is because the providers are nearly forced to “out there” via their advertising and websites and such where as the “Johns” are able to remain a bit TOO annonymous.

I say if you wanna pay for sex - then be like a porn-star and put your name OUT THERE so that people (including your girlfriends or spouses and or co-workers) KNOW what you’re about. If you’re willing to pay for sex, why are you trying to hide mother f*****s?!?!?! The government should probably legalize prostitution at this point, tax it and then create a public registry for providers and the John’s and issue licenses of some sort to both parties.

So in conclusion , I'm simply saying - respect that I'm ONLY a pornstar and cam girl - if you want to chat then you shouldn't have a problem paying per minute. If you have a problem with this - don't bother me or find someone else - better yet get some social skills and find an ACTUAL GIRLFRIEND - not sure how? - Call me and I'll TELL YOU HOW as long as you pay per minute. My free time is for my boyfriend and friends and family - my PAID time on cam - which I'm glad to give when I'm able to - is for you.

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Well yesterday I was on RudeTV yet again - check out the archive here: http://www.rude.com/tv/archive/id/80238

I shouldn't have worn that turtleneck sweater but oh well...I actually had a good time - the host and hostess of the show were both really cool and into the adult biz "gossip" so that always makes for a fun convo - PLUS I totally kept my clothes on - no titty or booty flashes at all.

Today is going to be my house cleaning day because my apartment is a wreck - how this happened I'm not sure, but it's time to fix it.

Tonight I'm going to try to do a few run throughs with my online talk shows because I have to get those up and running again by the first few weeks of this month so we'll see...

Online tonight I found something that proves my point as to how not only are black women VERY limited in the adult biz - we are also painted in the worst ways possible 9 out of 10 times:

http://www.cumbang.com

I would never be on that website or shoot for that studio.

I have a feeling that I've been cast in the better roles my short time in the adult biz. I'm glad.

Last night I had a nice evening. I had a chance to visit with a very good friend of mine and her father who is visiting from out of town. I'm very lucky to have met a friend who's such a down to earth girl. Her father made an INCREDIBLE home cooked meal - it's so rare I get one of those now days.

On a recent broadcast of Coast to Coast AM Glynes the "numbers lady" - a numerologist - was a guest on the show - I always enjoy listening to this woman not so much because of her world predictions based on her numerology system, but because she is very optimistic and full of good ideals to live by.

The last time she was a guest on Coast to Coast, she summed up 2009 as being a year of clarification and truths - in other words if you've been pulling the wool over people's eyes for a while, you're going to get called out whether you like it or not.

So far, interestingly enough, that has been a very prevalent theme in my life so far this year - and hell, we're just beginning...

What I've come to realize is that lying never works out. Telling a lie (or living a lie) isn't just defined as falsifying information though (at least in my opinion) - a lie can be the WITH HOLDING of information as well.

We've all been guilty of lying at some point in our lives, but I think part of life's lesson is to learn that it doesn't work, and to correct that behavior.

When I first entered the adult entertainment industry back around 2002 as an exotic dancer I lied to many people in my life about what I did for a living. It made it easy in the short term but in the long term my lies broke or injured friendships, romantic relationships and family ties.

When I took the leap into the world of porn, I decided not to repeat the pattern from back when I was a stripper - I was honest with everyone in my life about my "occupation" - the honesty definitely hurt some of my relationships with friends, family and others for a while - but in the end - everyone in my life who really loves and respects me "got over it" and accepted my choices - so being honest was well worth it and much less stressful in the end.

The really shitty thing about being lied to by a person, is that it's very difficult (and sometimes impossible) to trust them later. The shitty thing about being the liar is that once you tell the person something false (or with hold certain important information), the longer times goes by, the harder it is to tell the truth - yuck what a vicious cycle.

To sum up this blog, DO NOT LIE TO PEOPLE YOU CARE ABOUT and/or WHO CARE ABOUT YOU because nothing good can ever come of it.

Recently I was essentially lied to about something MAJOR by someone in my life. I can accept and forgive, but unfortunate short of a lobotomy, I can't forget. I wish I could.

Lately I've found I can trust so few people in my life, but I am very grateful to those few trustworthy people that I do have in my life - I feel fortunate for them.

If there's one thing I've learned about the porn industry, it's that you can trust NO ONE. Being kind to people really doesn't mean much at all to individuals who have allowed themselves to become consumed with hate. Actually speaking of the porn biz, I'm STILL working actively on GettingIntoPorn.com - everytime I think I'm close to it's completion I realize that there's a ton more I need to add. As I'm slowly but surely nearing it's completion, I can't help but wonder why so few women (and men) who have been active in the biz, haven't put together too many resources to aid newcommers...

I'll be doing cam shows tonight/this morning straight through to Monday, so once again - I'll see you guys online!

Here's a cool pic I forgot about - not relevant to this post, but enjoy :)

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Today was definitely a lazy day - primarily because it's finally starting to get sunny and warm outside here in Los Angeles and I took the opportunity to take a walk, visit with some friends and just soak up some sun on my terrace - it was nice.
I'm working all night tonight though on my webcam. This recession has hit my income pretty hard and though I'm trying my best to remain optimistic, peppy and driven - at times I find myself slipping into depression due to my lack of finances.
One thing about Los Angeles is that 99.9% of the people you meet either lie to you or make promises that they can't keep or don't follow through with - I hate that and I've grown very tired of the pattern.
At this point I'm pretty much being forced to explore other avenues to maintain my cost of living (and I'm talking BASIC needs) so hopefully some of these other avenues will work out.

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Well, though I didn't do as many webcam shows as I'd have liked to, I still had a very productive weekend.

Beginning Friday, my fantastic boyfriend made a KILLER new intro video for my website. I can't wait to upload the footage to my editing computer to edit/compile it. I think that some of that footage will be included in the launch of my Clips4sale.com store.

This economy is soooooo horrible and truthfully, being that I'm an adult industry performer who doesn't go beyond "B/G" work, probably doesn't help. Considering that I've done under 40 scenes I see no reason to expand my "menu" of what I'm available for. I don't fault my agency at all - they seem to try and their new asst. agent who's from one of the largest adult agencies really seems to be on the ball.

I'm simply one of those "porn bitches" who thinks their shit doesn't stink (it does but I won't admit it) and who feels she should get the same rate as the white girls. When I see white women who's body's aren't half as good as mine getting more than 3 times the work as myself, I simply don't feel like even bothering, and I'll tell you this, when my test expires 5 days from now, if I haven't had a shoot I will not be re-testing anytime soon because I don't have $120 to just fork over to AIM without a guaranteed return on my "test investment".

Don't get me wrong, I don't just have beef with the white porn bitches - many black, latin and asian porn bitches are fucking over women like me too by doing scenes for $500 and lower. How is ANY woman who halfway values herself in the biz supposed to get work at a decent rate when you have this cut rate shit going on?!?!?!

Argggggggg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On another note, tomorrow my dog Panda will be getting a bath and a much needed haircut. Right now she looks like a wookie - which is cute but probably not the healthiest state for her to be in.

Los Angeles is cold - both in attitude and climate. I'm from Florida and am tropical and warm blooded and hearted by nature. I am beginning to feel as dead as the plants and grass around me.

Today I received yet another email from this character in the porn industry named Donnie Long who I haven't met but I've heard more than my fair share about. Apparently this man has created a site called XXXfilmjobs.com - now I'm all about there being online job databases for every industry, BUT here's the problem. This man is obviously trying to undercut the adult agencies and/or cut the adult agencies out of the picture completely. This is not good or right for agencies or people like me who have an agency.

I feel it's fairly important to have an agent/agency in this industry of some sort, at least when you're new because the agency/agent acts as a "filter" to screen out the psychos and fake or unreputable studios that may try to contact a talent. They also ensure that if something isn't right when you arrive at a shoot, it is made right - otherwise they will at least ATTEMPT to get a cancellation fee.

Now if you're someone like Sunny Leone, or Brianna Banks or Tera Patrick, of course you're on a level of which you don't need an agent really, but someone like me does. If porn studios stop using agencies that leaves me and other professionals like me up the creek.

I suppose I'd give this Donnie Long's site a chance if there wasn't so much negativity encircling him, however a few months back he really drug another talent's (who's with my agency) name through the mud, and needlessly so, which really affected her bookability and peace of mind. Anyone who attacks this weak and defenseless just for attention/publicity isn't OK in my book at all. Also I feel he targeted this young woman because she's a woman of color and he knew he could get away with it being that though we're in 2009 the adult industry is indeed very racist.

Oh, "the industry is NOT racist" - you might argue? Well then how come when a white woman does a black guy it's such a big deal and her first "interracial" yet when I do a white, latin, or asian guy (though I've never had an asian guy) it's not? Also why are black women always pressured into doing ANAL (which I decided from the beginning is totally off limits for me) where as white women are not? Also where the fuck are the BLACK CONTRACT STARS?!?!??!?! There hasn't been one since HEATHER HUNTER! Why is my look to ETHNIC for Suze Randall's clients?!??!! Suze.net was a website I DREAMED of shooting for - I'd rather hear that I'm TOO OLD OR TOO UGLY over being TOO ETHNIC. Until I have an answer to these questions I will not shut up about RACISM IN THE PORN WORLD - just take a look at a forum called XXXporntalk.com - these are industry pros and if you read some of the threads and see how racial slurs are thrown you'll see just what I mean.

Interesting how a black woman is good enough to be first lady of our freakin country but not good enough for a major porn label to promote. Oh well, goes to show I've made yet another stupid life decision.

Speaking of the first lady - what the hell is Obama doing wasting his time going on a late night talk show. Considering all the time (and wasted secret service dollars) that went into the trip to the show, the prep for the show, etc - couldn't Obama have been on the Leno show remotely via webcam? Do we NOT HAVE THE FUCKING TECHNOLOGY? Also shouldn't he be spending EVERY WAKING MOMENT on fixing the damn ECONOMY that he ran his mouth about having a plan for rather than trying to be young and hip (and coming off as thoughtless and arrogant) on a damn ENTERTAINMENT TALK SHOW? I'm starting to get pissed beyond belief.

Well my broke and weak and I suppose pathetic overly ethnic black ass better get back to my cam shows before I'm entirely defenseless and homeless as well. See you online peeps.

The video below pretty much outlines how I feel about L.A. at the moment.

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Today will be another cam show day!!!!! It's good to finally be back into a bit of a daily "work routine". Slowly but surely I'm getting all my ducks in a row so that I can launch my 4 (possibly 5) new websites all at once at the end of this month. I'm excited, but I'm trying to put my new project launches as close to the release of my first feature "Not the Cosby Show XXX" as possible.
Speaking of that, I suppose I better get ready for a bit of "backlash" from that project - check out this video someone posted about the upcomming flick:

I might post a video response, not sure I want to take the time though. It's amazing to me how many people just to "get it" when it comes to what is important in life to be concerned about....ugh.

Actually I received a nice myspace email from someone who found another "anti-Not the Cosby Show XXX" blog posting. Here's part of the note:

I happened across a blog regarding your upcoming 'Cosby Show' spoof and it was one of the most idiotic rants I had ever read online. I posted an angry reply only because it was so ignorant; and I noticed afterwards that you had replied as well!

Well, here is my rant at the blogger and those who left comments (apologies for the language and extremely hostile tone, but I got extra-annoyed and I'm a writer, sooooo)

his post is the most hyper-sensitive, ridiculously unfounded piece of race-baiting bullsh*t I have read in a while. Porn parodies things ALL THE TIME!!!!! The Kennedys, TV sitcoms, popular movies, Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky and countless other things have been parodied by the adult film industry. It’s PORN people! We trivialize our own struggle when we bitch and moan about harmless stuff like this. And Alexis, you sound ignorant as hell. It’s a damn sitcom! Are we as a people so LOST that we turn a 30 minute TV show into a sacred cow? It wasn’t even a very GOOD show past the third season! Watch ‘SNL’ or ‘MadTV’ and you pop culture parodies all the time, just like in porn. It will only be seen by people who want to see it, anyway–so why do you care so much? This is what they do! Like Monica Foster said, you’re complete and TOTAL hypocrites. We make our selves look really stupid sometimes.

And I’m sorry–I didn’t realize ‘The Cosby Show’ saved the black community. I must’ve missed that one, because I remember a show that aired during the HEIGHT of crack and the AIDS epidemic, at the HEIGHT of gang violence, at the HEIGHT of un-wed mothers in our community, and at the HEIGHT of high-profile police brutality, yet NEVER addressed any of these social ills. It was pure escapism, so to hear my people talk about that show like it was the March on Washington makes me want to puke. I loved that show as a kid, and it was a very important show–but it was just a SHOW! Stop turning everything into a sacred piece of Black history and recognize entertainment for what it is.

I’m sorry, this is my last post, but I re-read this ‘article’ and got pissed all over again. ‘Defamation of character?’ These ARE FUCKING FICTIONAL CHARACTERS! Are you stupid? I don’t understand this—do you think that Theo Huxtable is going to file suit with the film’s producers? Cockroach is going to go on Larry King? It might sadden you to know that Batman isn’t real, either. God, I can’t stand psuedo-conscious, psuedo-intellectual idiots. And this isn’t MAINSTREAM–that’s the point! If a mass of people get mad about this, it will only affirm my worst fears about where my people are at: That this generation is so lost and so enamored with the pro-activism of the Civil Rights era, that they will manufacture superficial ’causes’ to rally behind; make a big huff, and disappear after a week. Idiots like this are just further discrediting the struggle that we fight everyday. There are FAR more important things to rally about than a damn porno.

It's good to know that some people actually take the time to think and do a bit of research before they pass judgment. Thinking and the ability to research and investigate things in life are probably 2 of our greatest God given tools. I've certainly come to realize that.

It's been a while since I've really blogged and/or webcammed (I needed a bit of time to myself I suppose) but I'm back :)
Though I enjoy performing in the adult world I'm going to work very hard over the next few months to upgrade my photography lighting equipment and take some makeup artistry classes. I want to be a bit of a "one man band" (or should I say one WOMAN band) when I am able to launch my studio, which I really hope will be by the end of this year. I think if I can wear the hats of photographer, makeup artist, web designer, and whatever else when I first begin, I'll save a lot of money and ultimately feel more fulfilled and in control.
Recently I was contacted by a pretty good photographer who's local to me, and I contemplated doing a sort of "barter" with him (me create his website in exchange for him creating additional content for my site) but though it would have been a cool deal, realistically I just don't have the time and overall I wasn't sure the trade was exactly fair. Also I could tell that this person may have been emotionally draining, needy and had the potential to become annoying- hate to say that but it's my blog, so I might as well be honest. I suppose I just am not interested in getting locked into anything that may not be beneficial to my personal growth or a hassle to get out of professionally anymore.
I think overall March is still shaping up to be a good month. One thing about living in Hollywood though is that your life truly can change in an instant, so I hope I continue of a relatively positive track.

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Today has shaped up to be a fairly productive day and I'm glad because yesterday I was a bit down in the dumps.

I've resolved not to fall back into the "quitter" pattern that I worked so hard to dig myself out from years ago, and am staying with my agency Type9 after all.

Why? Well this morning I woke up with a fresh perspective on my booking mishap from yesterday. I'd have to say that over 80% of the time I've worked with Type9 it's been a positive and professional experience. I really like the owners Kelly and Kevin, and I feel like they work hard which is great and quite rare in the adult industry. I can't fault them for the mistakes of others that they realistically can't monitor 24/7.

Plus Type9 models has a very well rounded selection of all types of performers and I like that. When an agency's girls all look like clones, it makes me wonder a bit.

In other news, I took out my old weave last night, washed my hair and this morning I really debated putting my new weave in. I love MY hair. Lately it's been getting really healthy and when I wash it and let it air dry and becomes so soft and fluffy. In the entertainment world, I think it's better that I have a consistant and "glam" look which the weave provides, but I think 2010 will be the year of only MY hair.

A good girl friend of mine will be moving from FL to Los Angeles AND into my building in the beginning of April. I'm pretty excited because it'll be great to have a good friend close by.

Well tomorrow morning I have a shoot with the famous Lexington Steele. I'm looking forward to it as he seems to have built a really good reputation and business for himself within the adult entertainment world - it's always exciting to meet others who are driven.

I've been keeping this blog fairly positive lately but I can't always look on the "bright side" - no one can - it's part of being human.
I have been trying very hard over the past few years not to be a quitter anymore with things I do and to stick out my situations, goals and tasks to completion. However today I reached a breaking point.
What is the job of an "agency" - hell, of ANY sort. To seek out work for their clients, book them, relay the correct and complete info of the job to their (the agency's) client they represent, and then (in the end) collect a commission for their hard earned work from their client that they supposedly WORK FOR and REPRESENT. Right?
Well apparently in the adult entertainment world that is NOT the case, at least not in my situation. My agency has booked me successfully on a few gigs, but allowed too many screw ups - not due to the owner most likely but due to a certain couple employees.
If I were a woman in porn who showed up to gigs late, or on drugs, or not at all, or bitchy, or without wardrobe, or if I didn't pay my agency their commissions even, that would be one thing, but that's not the case.
I'm professional, a decent performer, I drive myself to shoots, am on time, don't show up on drugs or high, promote myself, have the required wardrobe always, keep myself well maintained physically, etc. I suppose that's just not valuable enough to agencies though - at least not to where they'd care to give you the correct info about shoots and the correct amount of pay to expect.
So now, for the first time in my fucking life (thanks to my lack of financial savvy, my stupid move out to Los Angeles, the fucked up economy, and my fucked up ex agency leading me to believe I could expect to make a certain amount of money today when that wasn't the case) I will be late with my rent and some other bills and now have to find an alternate source of income ASAP.
Luckily I have my website and cam shows but I gotta go "hustler gangsta" now not to end up on the street.
Fuck you "J" of Type9 - and not in the good way.

Now that I've written this I feel a little better. I don't want to be a quitter when it comes to the porn industry. It's something I actually enjoy and I don't have much else. I don't know how I'll continue now but I will try.

Yesterday I had the pleasure of working with Bluebird Films again which was GREAT, I encourage everyone to join www.bluebirdfilms.com if you'd like to see the footage with myself and Mr. TeeReel :)
In the evening I stopped by RudeTV.com and was able to guesthost with the sexy Flexxx on "Ebony Nights" - view the video archive of the show right here : http://www.rude.com/tv/archive/id/77063

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Above is the flyer for the party I'll be signing at and co-hosting this Saturday - I'm totally looking forward to it!

Tonight I'll be co-hosting "Color Blind" with PowderXXX of RudeTV.com again, I'll post a link to the archive over the weekend.

Well it looks like I get to work for one of my new favorite adult video companies at the start of next week: BlueBird Films. I'm looking forward to it, however that means that I have to AIM today, which is ok but it's no fun getting your blood drawn so often - yuck.
Later in the week I get to make an appearance in X-plays next flick set to launch after Not the Cosby's XXX (which I star in) - Not Married with Children XXX - so I'm looking forwards to that as well.
I encourage many of you out there to check out www.RoyKarchProductions.com - this guy is a long time adult industry vet who continues to produce some awesome features to this day.
Also check out www.MPHvideography.com - it's one of the hottest cameramen in the industry's websites, hopefully he'll have some samples of his work up soon.

Today will be a cam show day/night, but I always enjoy chatting so it's a good thing. I acquired a new domain for my adult video theater gateway through AEBN: www.MonicaFosterVOD.com - check it out :)

Here are a couple of recent interviews with Harley of Harleyxxxtv.com

Super Hot Adult Star Monica Foster Harleys XXX TV

PT2 Adut Star Monica Foster Hott Harleys XXX TV

Though California has a tremendous amount of opportunity for anyone with a drive and a will to work hard, I'm looking forward to when I've "made my fortune" and can leave this state. Where I'll go next, I'm not sure, but most likely I will either return to the east coast or simply relocate to another country. Primarily because I'm just not one for the "land of make believe" mentality on a long term basis.

I have learned since living here I'm much more based in "reality" than I initially thought - mainly because I have an aversion to shrinking away situations that are hard, where as many people who have lived here on a long term basis seem to deem that mentality as acceptable.

Though Cali is progressive in many ways, in other ways it's not. Though we are in the year 2009, have a technically "black" president, and are well beyond the sexual revolution - I find backwards and/or hypocritical mindsets around every corner and under every stone here in Hollywood, CA - ironically especially in the MAINSTREAM entertainment industry. It is sad, the situation angers me, and overall I'm disgusted.

The adult entertainment world still needs a lot of progression, but I see the progression and needed changes being easily rectified whereas in mainstream I do not. I strongly prefer being identified as an "adult entertainer" over a "mainstream actress" and probably always will.

On a happier note, I'll be co-hosting RUDETV.com's show "ColorBlind" again on Friday and will be co-hosting and signing at an industry event at a club called CineSpace on Saturday.

I hope and pray the coming of March brings me better luck and work opportunities my way than I had in fucked up Feb.

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Through an interesting turn of events, the music video I was set to be in which I mentioned in my previous post wound up shooting last night afterall. Since it was a "night scene" for the video, I was on set from about 12am to 6:30am this morning. WHEW! Between the freezing temps, my tiny outfit wardrobe put me in, and the late hours I slept most of the day today.
Today/tonight I'm back to doing cam shows for the remainder of the weekend.
Happy Valentines Day everyone!

I haven't had the chance to blog in a while, so I figured this rainy afternoon in LA is the day to do it.
I hit up my first adult industry party this week at a club called "Blue Moon Nights" - a "fetish party" with a few friends of mine and it was great to see a lot of industry people of which I've worked with there.

Actually the more involved in the industry I get, the more I realize how much of a fan I am of certain performers. I've always thought Tommy Gunn (the blond one - and in the background of the above pic - hehe) is really hot, so it was cool meeting him in the VIP area of the party. CLICK HERE for more pics from the event.
I also auditioned for a Lil Wayne music video this week of which I was cast for which was supposed to start shooting tonight but unfortunately was canceled due to the rain :( Hopefully I'll get cast for another one because I've always wanted to be in a music video to see how one is put together.
I'll be doing cam shows most of the weekend as usual. This recession really sucks hard. If I'd entered the west coast entertainment scene a few years ago, I'd already be much better of financially, but because of ex-prez Bush, I'm not. I hope karma really bites him in the ass for what he's done.

Though primarily what may make an adult video performer is what he or she looks like, what really sets the forerunners apart from the masses is how one presents his or herself or what he/she does on the back end of the business that aids in their success. In other words, it's their mind (and drive) that makes all the difference.
I'm definitely far from being the most intelligent woman out there in the business, but (especially as of late) I've utilized a lot of my tech savvy and business know how to capitalize on what I've done so far, and I'll continue to try to expand my knowledge base to continue my current trend.
I think I set a record for myself today in designing a website for someone in the biz, actually the only thing preventing this particular site from being complete is having to wait on additional media which will be provided by the client (I hate waiting for stuff - so impatient).
Well it's another weekend of cam shows. The great thing about doing shows is that at least it's an interactive activity - well what's even better is hearing immediate feedback from my viewers, fans, and friends on what they think of my XXX scenes, camshows, website, etc.
I love my work, but I can't wait to get more into the production end of the business - that to me is where the true excitement lies.

Well yesterday was an interesting day. I received a booking with a new adult vid company called Blue Bird Films. I would say to definitely keep tabs on what they produce this year as I expect a lot of great things from them. The shoot went fairly smoothly without any issues and their staff, from the owner to the makeup/wardrobe crew to the camera crew, was very welcoming, kind and fun to work with.
I suppose my only criticism of the scene I shot with BlueBirdFilms was that it was set to where there was a lot of emphasis on the "racial element". I don't understand why when something is obviously interracial it has to be verbally expressed and at times in a way of which one race is somehow dominant to the other. Oh well...in time hopefully this will change as out society does.
When I got home I was SOOOOO tired, so after texting a few friends I pretty much hit the sack. I expect to mostly do camshows over the weekend and hopefully get some grocery shopping done :)
One of my goals for February is to make a few purchases related to getting my media business in Cali off the ground...cross your fingers.

This morning was truly a historic day. I am watching the Presidential Inauguration this morning of Barak Obama on CNN.com and I am so happy that I'm crying - I never anticipated that I would be this emotional over this, but I truly am. I completely understand today, at this moment what a historic and monumental event today is - not just for african-americans/blacks, but for all people in this country and world as a whole.
Yesterday on a local news broadcast a black woman in around her 50's was interviewed, and she stated that she didn't think in her life she'd witness a black president - well I wasn't sure that I would either and I'm 30.
I didn't think that there wouldn't be a black president ever because of racism in our country and in the world on a large scale, but on a small scale...meaning that there are simply just a few people who still harbor and promote very "old fashioned" and overall "hateful" mindsets in attempt to retain power - a power which they don't truly have to begin with.
I talk a lot on this blog about racism, in the adult industry especially (because that is the industry of which I work and it's what I'm familiar most with), and I will continue to do so - why? Because I'm going to try my best to implement changes in this industry. I feel like if Mr. Obama can make such a huge step for the country and the world, the least I can do work hard to make changes for other women like myself in an industry that counts on not being looked at too closely.
Today is my true independence day and today I am a woman in the adult industry who demands equality, equal opportunity and equal pay not just for myself, but for EVERYONE, regardless of what you look like.

I'm going to start a list of XXX studios and DVD's which I feel people should boycott due to racial issues I have PERSONALLY encountered because it's time to cut the crap.

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Though it's only Tuesday I've been incredibly busy so far this week - mostly with the work that I do from home though. Along with doing a record number (at least for me) of webcam shows for all of my awesome Monica Foster fans, I've been working on updating all of my online presences - from my websites (which is a job in reality for about 4 people), to my MySpace page (I know myspace might seem like a waste of time but in reality it's one of the best networking and promotional tools an adult performer could ask for), to editing my new photosets, to editing my first installment of my POV series, etc - the list goes on and on and on.
It's been well over around 2 years since I've aggressively updated my "image" online. A big part of the reason that I've decided to do it, is because I feel that as a performer (and overall person) I've matured, and I want my image to reflect who I am today, not who I was yesterday.


The great thing about working so hard though is that you appreciate the rewards that much more and you take for granted that much less....
In other news, the AVN/AEE awards have ended - honestly I'm a bit disappointed that certain studios and pornstars didn't win or even get a mention (and for once I'm not talking about myself). Amazing how even the porn world is so political.
Well I've been up all night so time to hit Burger King for breakfast. See you online!

I suppose a part of me DID want to go to the AEE/AVNs but in all truthfulness, I'm glad I didn't because I would have ended up spending money needlessly, and wasting valuable time. Instead by staying home and working, I've managed to:
*almost have my upcoming site launch of GettingIntoPorn.com done
*update my bio's for Monica Foster on every networking site I'm a member of
*do a bunch of cam shows
*and edit some photos.


On top of all that I had a really good workout today as well :) I have been keeping up with the AEE trade show and awards progression though via the AVN website and a few adult industry related blogs I like to read. I really hope that one of the XXX movie nominations that I'm featured in (Breast Meat & Control Freaks) wins - that would be a good thing.

Ok, well back to the grind - see you all online :)

Though this weekend, is one of the largest adult industry networking events (the AVNs / AEE and Internext), I'm obviously not attending (sorry about that to everyone who asked if I'd be there via email and myspace - I will be next year). Instead I've decided to make this a weekend of cam shows, creativity, and business planning as I expect 2009 to be a very busy year.
I'm actually incredibly excited about this week, as I'll be producing my first VOD (video on demand) POV series installment. At this very moment (as I write this) I'm taking a break from making the graphics for my new site which will host the series. I think that all of you "Monica Foster addicts" out there will really enjoy what I'm putting together for you.
Tonight I received some GREAT feedback from my show on the CamZ network, so thanks peeps :) As most of u know, I always try to make the show fun, but 2009 shows will be EXTRA fun so keep watching (hell, I have a stripper pole again so how can they NOT be fun).
Tomorrow at some point I'll be putting together a new photo set for my site. As I look back over the "Monica Foster years" it's cool to see how my look has evolved. Well just talking about my "look" would be shallow - I suppose overall I've evolved a lot as a person - and I'm glad.
Thinking back on how I made the switch from being a computer/electronic tech to working in the adult industry (first as a stripper, then a cam girl, and now a porn "star"), I almost see it as a "revenge of the nerds" experiment.
I don't know who I think I'm fooling trying to be "little miss sexpot" but I'll tell u what, it is SOOOO much damn fun. Maybe I'm not "fooling" anyone though, appearance wise I've pretty much figured out what's "appealing enough" and working in the adult industry essentially has unleashed the sexual side of my personality which I may not have ever discovered if I hadn't been brave enough to embark on this "adult industry journey". I suppose that a big draw of the adult industry for me truly was the attention though - I'll admit, when I was back in High School, I was only asked out by 2 guys - in total - neither of which I was into. The one guy I had a crush on totally dissed me. It hurt. Growing up I never felt attractive and my family certainly didn't help much in the matter (an attractive appearance wasn't overly emphasized in my household being that I come from an intellectual lot of equal rights activists - which is probably why I do embody certain traits). For me finding a bit of success in the adult world is a twisted form of validation and vindication for me - and it's OK, we all have our hang ups.
Today I read an article on how Sasha Grey (one of my favorite AV performers - it's amazing to me how deep she is for someone so young) wanted porn to be "more creative". I have to agree with her. The most "creative" I've been able to be so far in porn, has been playing "Claire" in the most recent feature I was cast in, but even that role didn't allow me to truly spread my wings (or other body parts) like I feel I'm capable of doing. Honestly, the lack of "creativity" I've been able to explore pisses me off, because getting in, I assumed (and that was my mistake), that I'd get to do movies more along the line of what Wicked, Digital Playground, and Vivid produce. Gonzo is cool, but people want to see a story, and a high quality production. Yea, sometimes guys just want to jerk off to a girl getting rammed, but I know for a fact in general people on occasion want to see something beautifully erotic to get off.
Maybe if I was a DIFFERENT TYPE OF PERSON I'd have gotten the opportunity to be in more productions like I initially envisioned myself being in, but since I can only be me, I can live with it. After these AVNs are over we'll see what's up 4 sure in regards to casting opportunities.
Actually I'm glad that my "porn career" has been as it has, because it's pushed me to see that I'm better suited to be a camera person, writer and director. I hope in 2009 some cool castings come about, but if not, I'll cast myself in whatever I can dream up and execute. I suppose that just like with most of my photos of which I've shot myself, I'm pretty certain that I can manage to produce some kick as porn that I produce and distribute myself. Why not - NERD POWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Actually I hope that by 2011 I'll be able to open my own studio/distrubtion company. I like the idea of having "contract stars" but not with an "iron clad" contract - and definitely short term. I'll elaborate more on my views of contract vs. non-contract another day.
Oh, and one more thing, I'm almost done with GettingIntoPorn.com - I have a feeling that a few people will have a problem with the site, but I don't care - I'm over what other people think aside from my immediate family and loved ones. Plus considering how I've put the site together (lots of time and effort), I know tons of people (specifically young women) will benefit from the knowledge and experience I'm sharing. It actually amazes me that more women in the business haven't taken the initiative to help out other newbies - it's weird. Maybe it's due to a lot of women feeling the need to compete with each other rather than cooperate.

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Today I turn 30 years old - thank god I made it through my 20's! It's strange because though "30" can be seen as a monumental age, I actually have felt about 30 something for quite a while now - I think my 20's were a bit too long.
Overall I feel pretty good life wise in my new "30's". I feel like I'm on a positive career path (though it's a less traveled path for sure), I have a small group of good friends, my personal life is fairly balanced, and my family relationships are getting better by the day.
Happy Birthday and 2009 to me :)

Well it looks as though January will be a very busy month for Monica Foster! I'm very happy about that, however though a lot of opportunities are being handed my way I'm being very selective as to which opportunities I take.
When I look back upon 2008 - namely my leap into the world of adult video - I'm able to clearly see the good moves I've made - and the bad ones I've made as well. In regards to the "bad" moves and decisions, in 2009, I'm just going to do my best to avoid such "bad" circumstances and people when I'm able to do so.
For example - one thing I've noticed and simply don't understand in the world of adult video performance is the variance of the time span of which certain companies pay for a talent's performance. My favorite AV shoots of '08 were typically the shoots of which were run in the most "professional" manner and typically those shoots paid their talent the same day or within 2 weeks.
Upon looking back, the most UNPROFESSIONAL and aggravating adult video shoots, not only had half ass production systems, but they also took FOREVER to send out their talents pay check and often "forgot" to pay you in full (resulting in having to stake out the company's home/office to collect or calling every hour upon the hour).
I've decided to make it easy on myself this year by simply NOT working with anyone who had/has issues with their payroll dept. or check writing ability. In other words - no sameday pay = no Monica Foster unless you're a high end studio which regularly pays within 2 weeks.
I'm glad I'm in a position now to where I CAN be as selective as I'm being. A big thanks to my readers yet again for your consistent booking of private cam shows with me.
Most likely this week I'll have the first installment of my first Video on Demand POV series shot (of which I'm directing and editing and distributing myself). I look forward to getting my reader's feedback on it.

Hello 2009! I am SOOOOOOOO glad that I made it through 2008, and I'm even more glad that it's over. I had a pretty good New Years Eve this year again - that makes 3 fantastic New Years Eves in a row. I was invited out to a club opening (Ecco in Hollywood, CA) and then later an after party. I had a blast at both (I actually might have gotten a little too crazy but one of my resolutions this year is to relax and have more fun while I'm young enough to do so) and feel like the events of the evening were a great kick start to the new year.
Check out my New Years Eve outfit :)


I'm expecting this coming month to be very productive and busy. I have a few upcoming projects I'm set to be involved in, which I'm really looking forward too.
I'm not sure if I'll be attending the AVN's in Las Vegas this year, but I'm going to try my best to make it...something tells me it would be a good idea to go.
Well time for me to do some cam shows, so see you online and have a great 2009 :)

ATTENTION ALL WOMEN - DO NOT ORDER anything from Golden Mart Beauty Supply (www.GMBShair.com). Why? Well because on December 25th I ordered my regular supply of hair extensions and purchased the 2 to 3 day UPS delivery. Well guess what - they shipped my order GROUND and it won't get here till January 6th. UNACCEPTABLE. I needed to redo my hair by NEW YEARS EVE! If you're a woman, you understand my frustration. Hopefully I will get a refund as I don't even WANT my my order anymore. I will have to call them tomorrow and chew them out.
Fortunately I found an alternative to these assholes very close to where I live: His and Her Hair - www.HisandHer.com - their store is very close to where I live and they have BETTER prices, a better website AND a better selection of hair extensions and other products so I have my weave in time for New Years eve after all.
Tonight I'll be doing cam shows as usual, and tomorrow night I'll be attending the New Years Eve party at a club called ECCO. I'm excited and am sure I'll have a good time. My outfit I'll be wearing is totally Flashdance inspired (yep, I'm a cheesy chick) and I even made some custom legwarmers to complete the look. If I get some pics, I'll post them on the 1st.
HAPPY NEW YEARS EVERYONE!!!!!!

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A person's tolerance level and pain threshold can really vary depending on where they are in their life and what they've gone through in the past. It also varies tremendously from person to person - another thing that varies is how a person responds to pain/discomfort and when and how they express that "enough is enough".
My pain and tolerance level both emotionally and physically is very high - why? Well because in life I've been to hell and back a few times (that may be why I prefer to be a domme (www.MiZtressMonica.com) over being a sub). Sometimes I like to test myself in that department actually to see exactly where I am and where my level is and I'll admit, I'm pretty damn tough and strong - however I'm not made of steel. Sometimes in life I'll give someone a certain amount of "rope" when it comes to what they attempt to get away with or dish out just to see if the person hangs themself. More often than not, they do - as very few people, especially out here in California have a real sense of right, wrong and how to be a real person - basically how to do unto others as you'd want done to yourself.
Recently someone I really took a chance on and let into my life essentially hung them self. It happens and I'm really sad and disappointed, however I'm glad I figured it out over the holiday and before the new year rather than allowing the situation to continue.
This was a bit of a heavy blog I suppose, but hey - I'm heavy sometimes.
Speaking of heavy, I've gained some weight, I think that between now and '09 I want to lose about 5 to 10 pounds of fat and gain about 3 pounds of muscle. I'm hitting the gym tomorrow. I've noticed that when I'm aggravated, anxious or sad I eat - I'm determined to keep myself happy for a while.

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Thursday this week was the final day of shooting for "Not the Cosby Show XXX" - whew! I really enjoyed playing "Claire" and I learned a lot throughout the production both in front of and behind the camera. I'm very excited to see the end results of the project, but the movie's release date isn't until around May of '09 so it will be a while...
2009 should be a pretty busy year for me. Since moving out here to Cali, I've found a new sense of "self" and I'm happy about that. One of my 2009 resolutions (along with quitting smoking) is to enjoy my life more and stop worrying so much.
Today I found out that a friend of mine, actually one of the first women I met when I got into the porn business, has passed away. RIP Nina.

Yesterday was long, busy, tiring, exciting and fun. It was my first full day (from 8am to a little past midnight) on set for "Not the Cosby Show XXX". As I've written in earlier posts, this role as "Claire" has really enabled me to stretch my "acting" wings and essentially exercise a latent part of my mind - it's been nice.
Along with shooting scenes from the script, I had a chance to meet many new people from the media sect of the adult entertainment world. From a world renowned Playboy photographer who shot our promotional photos for the movie to Miss Gia Jordan - a photographer and writer for Xbiz (who is a really cool woman - I've followed her posts for a while now on the adult forums so it was great to meet her in person).
The cast and crew of this movie is really great - overall I feel the project is fated to be a success seeing that there's an undeniably positive and "special" vibe on set which has been present since the first day everyone has worked together.
I'm rarely a "fan" of anyone, but I have to say that now I'll be following the careers of many of the new people I've met who I've been working with - people of note I'd like to mention are Cassidy Clay (this girl should be in WAY more music videos), Misty Stone (2 year porn veteran with a TREMENDOUS acting talent), Tyler Knight (a quietly confident, attractive, talented, and kind performer who always delivers AND who should have either a contract with a major studio OR more popularity independently) and Jenny Hendrix (a young but sweet and very driven performer who I'm sure will go quite far).
Today was my day off from set, so I had a chance to rest and reset. I decided to go to IKEA to pick up a much needed bookshelf for my apartment and have lunch. Below is a pic of my lunch - Swedish meatballs - YUMMMMMM.

This past Tuesday pretty exciting! It was my first day on set of the upcoming feature from X-Play/All Media Play "Not the Cosby Show XXX". As most of you know by this point (being that I've written so much about it), I'm cast as "Claire". This role, and project in general is the first of it's type that I've had the chance to take part in and though it's a little difficult being that it's a new experience, I enjoy the challenge. I've discovered that I'm primarily a "method actor" - funny...

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